There really isn't a single, clean cut answer for that. Some people like a lot of heat for a very short amount of time, some people like less heat for longer. It's a bit like a recipe, where you can adjust the amount of heat you need to prepare a dish to tailor it to the amount of time you have to cook in.
I tend to desolder around 400 celsius. Solder around 325.
Sometimes, you have to adjust that, though. If you're desoldering a big pin of a connector that is attached to the ground plane of a PCB, you've got a heck of a lot more to heat up than a single leg of a transistor. So, on ground planes, I go a little higher on the temperature.
When desoldering, I often use a little liquid flux. That seems to reduce the amount of time I have to keep the heat on the board.
You also have to keep your tips in good shape - clean, not oxidized. As a tip wears out, you often have to increase heat a little to keep it operating well. That's a good sign that it's time to replace the tip. The coating on the tips is very thin - you can't just file or sand the old tarnished tip and make it shiny and start using it again.
Find some junk boards to practice soldering on, and find out what works for you!