If...

Your coffee table is also a cooler.

If...

Your taxidermist also does your taxes.

Your financial planner told you to buy lottery tickets.

Your favorite restaurant has sawdust on the floor.

If...

You use the gas station squeegee to wash your entire car.

Your son is named for your favorite pro wrestler.

Your doctor prescribes moonshine as a painkiller.

If your wife's wedding ring is starting to rust.

If you know that your wheelbarrow will hold ten twelve packs iced down.

If your barn is nicer than your house.

I still have my 1988 F-150 that I purchased from a friend when it was 4 months old.

If your job promotion now gets your name sewn on your shirt at no cost to you.

Any normal man has at least a little bit of redneck thinking in them, some just take it to the extreme, and we can all laugh when that happens.

My grand dad had a moonshine still in the north GA mountains back in the day. They never had indoor plumbing until I was a teen. They did not have a out house either.

They had a well that you had to use a bucket and rope to bring up water for drinking and taking a bath.

I never had any moonshine, but he made a awesome muscadine wine.

They were farmers, 80 acres with cows, pigs, chickens, any kind of fruit and nut tree, and 14 acres of vegetable gardens.

Mom graduated school with Ernie Elliot, Bill was younger.

My grand mom and Bill Elliot's mom were best friends, talked on the party line or whatever it was called all the time.

I have never once thought of any of them as rednecks, they were just farmers living in the country.

The first time I ever heard the word redneck was in that old country song: rednecks, white socks and blue ribbon beer.

When I was young, I was considered a redneck, because I chewed red man, and wore flannel shirts, and operated tractors, and it never bothered me.

Foxworthy made a ton of money with all this, and cool he grew up not far from me.

(and yes, I do love some of the photos, rednecks can do some funny stuff).

One of my best friends lives in Buffalo, NY, and he is far more redneck than I am, he is extremely fun to be around.

And even though I wear Hawaiian shirts all the time now, my neck stays red from all the outside work I do.

I guess I am part redneck, and proud of it.

You might be a redneck if any of your children were conceived in a bass boat.

When I was younger I was probably 80% redneck with all the red man I was chewing and skoal I was dipping, and operating all kinds of construction equipment, and sometimes just on a farm tractor bush hogging the land my Dad used to own.

Now, maybe I am 30%. If something really needs a bolt and a nut and I have nothing on hand that fits I may use some tie wire or something for a quick fix.

I love the pics showing people making a pool in a truck bed, stuff like that I just find cool. Who cares they are in overalls or whatever while in a pool.

The pics of old guys playing banjos get old.

But like while ago the pic of the plunger on the windshield holding the gps or phone or whatever was great.

And I think the late great Charlie Daniels hit the nail on the head with these lyrics from "In America" :

And we may have done a little bit
Of fightin' amongst ourselves
But you outside people best leave us
alone
'Cause we'll all stick together
And you can take that to the bank
That's the cowboys and the hippies
And the rebels and and the yanks

We all change all the time, but I hope we can always stick together and laugh and have fun and help each other as needed.

The last few years I have seen first hand how so many people just get offended way too easy.

I am not even going into any of that except I am sad that they seem not able to laugh and have fun, for some reason they just want to be miserable and complain about something.

Chill out. We will help you any way we can.

I hope not only the USA, but the whole world can come together soon, and we can all be easy going, and ready to help each other.

All the rednecks I know are some of the most friendly and helping people I know.

(I am only 30%, so don't ask for my shirt, but I will try to give advice if I am decent at the topic).

You might be a redneck if... you punish your children by taking away their chewing tobacco.

You might be a redneck if you've been hospitalized after a chili cook-off.

Maybe off topic, maybe not.

If you have had a few beers and ready to crash for the night, and a old Travis Tritt song just went through your head "a great day to be alive" with all this crazy mess going on...

If at this moment, you still have hopes and dreams, you will be fine in the long run, Because:

you will be able to somehow keep working toward your goal, no matter what your goal may be, and you will be fine with a tad of redneck in you.

You might be a redneck if picking out a burial plot involves walking around your yard.

You might be a redneck if you think "social consciousness" means how well you can hold your liquor.

You might be a redneck if your best sofa came out of a Chevrolet.

You might be a redneck if your gazebo is an old satellite dish held up by PVC pipes.

You might be a redneck if your daddy handed out cigarettes the day you were born.

You might be a redneck if you always start a story with the words, "Y'all ain't gonna believe this."

You might be a Redneck if you ever shot dead limbs out of trees in your front yard.

My mower is probably worth more than my 1988 F-150.

The truck is pretty damn important. I use it to move logs around to cut for firewood.

Like the David Allen Coe song "if that ain't country", the song says "I spent my summer times busting up logs for the winter".

Hell, while ago I mowed about 2 acres, and split 2/3 of a cord of wood.

Now I have not dipped Skoal, or chewed Red-Man in a long while, but I wish I still could. (that stuff just got to where it gave me too much heartburn).

And hell, with virus stuff I never go anywhere anymore, so I stopped shaving, and I have a white beard now. (my girlfriend is not happy about that but she is out of town at the moment).

O-din started some awesome topics, I think his best is the bitch thread. And while he is on vacation I will try to keep his stuff going on.

And 100% true, I have a 1988 F-150 and a mower worth more than it. And I did cut a lot of grass and split a lot of firewood while ago.

And sometimes I still like to listen to some old country music like Oak Ridge Boys, Alabama, Ronnie Milsap.

But the other 80% of the time I am normal and wear a Hawaiian shirt and listen to new rock.

(and the members here that have bought games from me will tell you I wear some pretty good shirts).

Sorry for the long rant. I hope it was entertaining. I needed it to unwind.

I gave you a thumbs up anyway, but I think you are confused a tad, in that situation it is normally a hillbilly.

You might be a Redneck if when people talk about the "Big Easy", you think they are referring to your ex-girlfriend.

And I am just joking, that is what you do in the lounges, you try to have fun and make people laugh.

A tree falls through your roof and you decide to leave it there.