Ya, those things are one step above crapping your own pants. I'm sure they were pumping those out periodically. NOT! But when you're 19 with a bag full of weed, you're not worrying about anything anyway.

Oh to be 19 again...

... you play an EM machine that has been been restored back to original working condition and you don't whine that it still plays too slow.

You roll the pinball lift out from under a machine to get under it so you can lift it turtle style to lower the rear legs, only to remember that is what the lift is for.

I still do the turtle thing to adjust leg levelers because I'm too lazy to just go out to the garage and grab one of my leg lifter things with with two wheels on it.

... you remember when people almost always referred to a game by its actual name like 'Royal Flush' or 'Jacks Open' or 'Funhouse' instead of an acronym like EHOH or BM66 or CFTBL and so if you've barely or never heard of the game, to you it may has well be some government workers union or the molecular chemical formula for a commercial fertilizer.

It was 20 years ago today.....

Well, not exactly today, but you get the idea.

TWA Flight 800 will become a distant memory in the history books. If you know what TWA Flight 800 was all about you would need to be 35 years old today. If you have to click on the link to understand what is being talked about then you are still a kid.

https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/27/us/twa-flight-800-wreckage-destroyed-trnd/index.html

If you lived in the states, when I say "Urban Renewal" you know what is being talked about.

Your getting the Shingrix (shingles) series of vaccine and the COVID series two weeks apart (minimum time between). Started the Shingrix first not thinking I would be getting COVID one for a while. Just got the second Shingrix yesterday (crappy weekend ahead) and second COVID in two weeks on Friday (same crappy weekend I am sure).

Readypo - I know this is just urban lore, but I was told a bottle of Gatorade or pedialite about 8 - 10 hours after the second shot really helps. I drank a bottle of Gatorade, had no side effects at all, however, wifey did not drink any and felt bad for two days.

My wife told me something like that too but I wasn't paying attention - I will give it a try, thanks

Oh sure; you don't listen to your wife, but listen to some stranger...

I’m not as strange as I seem

I usually have hockey news in the bathroom basket but the hockey news decided to forget the old people like me who like to collect physical issues and not mail them for over a year, but still charge me monthly. Here is my current lineup.

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Crosswords!
just dont want to think that hard on the shitter.

Wife not home until 830! I'm partying!

Hope I have enough points for a free starbuds T shirt!!! It's cool ..not cheap material either .can't wait!

Classic!!!

... when you've started sitting down before pulling your pants on because your balance isn't as good as it used to be especially standing on one foot and you don't want to risk the 5% chance that you'll end up toppling over like a wobbling bowling pin.

... when you spend two days in bed, wondering what you did to make your lower back so angry at you.

Have anything to do with a 300 pound plywood box filled with wires?

Depends more on where you're standing.

Dive bar on the corner? $2.50

Sports venue or titty bar? $12.00

You would think with all the choices of beers the price would come down...

Titty bar in NYC Flash Dancers 30 years ago was $12 for a bottle of Bud.

The male half of the population is so smart with how it spends its money

Haven't been to a titty bar in at least 30 years.

You know you are old when you eye brows are growing so fast you have to part them.

Think of all the money you saved

One of my favorite films is Lost in Translation.
Thinking off that Japanese bar with that titty song in the background

When you make an appointment to see the optometrist..and a good time is installing new shafts/bearings on your golden tee track ball on a Friday night

The first because of the second

My friends stopped inviting them to them (not that they went very often). You know, the girls eventually come over to the table and start talking to you, and I found that most of the time (not ALL the time) they had a head on their shoulders, and rather than work someplace else making less money, their attitude was to take their clothes off instead. And it always frustrated me and I rarely had a good time.

In early 90s, we had a stripper club in town. One night I was talking to one of the dancers and she was studying to be a nurse. And stripping was working out to $20.00 an hour for her. No benefits.

One was mom and had two kids to get ready for school everyday.

Stripping paid the bills and was actually fairly good money. I suppose they could have taken the high moral ground route and worked at McDonalds for minimum wage which was $4.25 per hour back then.

My sister in law used to be a stripper. I'm pretty sure she got kicked off a tour boat for stripping.

...when having your ear and nostril hair transplanted to where your hairline used to be is becoming a viable two-birds-with-one-stone procedure.

I have often thought about that procedure myself.
A new twist on Hair Club For Men.

I am totally bald so I figured I could have some hair transplanted from my back as well.

Hair is growing in places I never had it before. But there is no chance of it growing back on my head.
My hair line made a Bee Line to my beehind.

That is natures way of giving you a warmer place to sit in the winter.

LTG : )

Funny, in this day and age of the "Me too" movement I won't comment or acknowledge the ladies anymore. If they are intellectually stimulating, attractive, charming or bubbly with a great smile, I'll just keep my head down, my eyes to myself and my mouth shut. I feel bad for the playful guys and girls of the world who mean no harm to each other. In this day and age I think that flirting with the opposite sex is extremely sketchy and potentially hazardous.

Yep, I'm old and I miss those days of innocent flirting.

QSS

I agree.
Any flirting or complements at all will land you in jail.

Hate to admit, it wasn't from moving one, so if it was related it must be just from having to stoop and reach while adjusting switches on Rick & Morty. Guess we didn't evolve to do that, especially at 60!

Oh come on, "You look nice today" will land you in jail?

If one's idea of flirting is objectifying shit like "Nice ass, honey" then it was never acceptable.

(Actually, if "complements" are the problem, better be sure to wear clothes that don't match!)

It's usually the other way around. Compliments, when it should be complements.

Well, you took the air out of that joke!

LOL

I don't think anybody got it anyway.

Careful, I can almost hear the Karen response.... "Is that how you determine my worth as a female? My looks? Am I supposed to be appreciative that you find my appearance acceptable? Wake up. Fucking chauvinist."

or words to that effect....

Sure, if you believe the BS the media spews in the name of the almighty ratings. Fortunately it is BS and real people don't actually behave in this manner.

Real people appreciate sincere compliments.

And even if someone takes offense, it won't "land you in jail." Give me a break.

In the scenario you posit above, I'd respond, "I was just being nice, honey, don't get your panties in a wad." And I still wouldn't go to jail.

Takes wits to recognize wit. Not my problem!

"There is only one thing in the world worse than being witty, and that is not being witty."

My mother-in-law once commented that I'm very witty. To which I replied, "well, I like to think I'm halfway there anyway."

Crack!!! (Quick right hand to your face). But of course, that wouldn't be considered assault.