Neenah, WI
You know you are old when you talk like a hillbilly for comedic effect, but no one laughs, because they think that it's just your normal voice.
(Topic ID: 222483)
Quoted from cottonm4:Make your own ice tea for about 20 cents per gallon. Make your own coffee for about 5 cents a cup. You can save a lot of money.
I never cared for tea. I quit drinking any soda around 1990. I used to drink the hell out of coffee, always made it myself, but quit it in 2000.
Just water and beer for me. And I drink whatever beer costs the least, and I drink tap water.
I would LOVE some advice about making my own beer for 20 cents a gallon!
I am glad you are here, you always seem nice and giving the best advice that you know!
You know you are old when you truly don’t understand buying any of these at the grocery store:
Ice tea by the gallon
Frozen toast
Hard boiled eggs
Are there really folks who don’t know how to boil water or make toast? It probably takes longer to heat frozen toast than to put some bread in the toaster .
Oops, didn’t mean to give out the super secret toast recipe there. My apologies to the toast club.
I grew up in the south, and while I like tea, I never picked up the taste for sweet tea. Unsweetened ice tea will cut through thirst. Sugary shit just doesn't work for me.
I can remember my mom brewing diabetes in jug with the cups of sugar she would dissolve into the tea jug before sitting it out to brew in the sun.
And, that's really how you know you're old. You are arguing about tea in an unrelated pinball forum....
Man, out of Lavoris again. Guess I'll have to use up that tooth powder, or baking soda and peroxide.
When I was in the 8th grade, my gray haired math teacher would spew out these little droplets of spit ( maybe driplets ) when she talked to you. Now I notice that I am starting to do the same shit when I talk. I don't know why. It is strange.
Quoted from cottonm4:When I was in the 8th grade, my gray haired math teacher would spew out these little droplets of spit ( maybe driplets ) when she talked to you. Now I notice that I am starting to do the same shit when I talk. I don't know why. It is strange.
Are your dentures slipping? 
(kidding dude)
Quoted from undrdog:You know you are old when you truly don’t understand buying any of these at the grocery store:
Ice tea by the gallon
Frozen toast
Hard boiled eggs
Are there really folks who don’t know how to boil water or make toast? It probably takes longer to heat frozen toast than to put some bread in the toaster .
Oops, didn’t mean to give out the super secret toast recipe there. My apologies to the toast club.
Agreed. The one that I truly can't figure out is pre-cooked bacon that you heat up in the microwave. Geez, you can make bacon in the microwave very easily.
microwave bacon (resized).jpg
Quoted from poppapin:Are your dentures slipping? (kidding dude)
I still have all of my own teeth. But root canals have replaced fillings as the main reason to sit down in a dentist chair. What pisses my contemporaries off the most is that I still have ALL of my own hair 
Quoted from seeburg220:I see your Anita, and raise you a Sophia![quoted image]
Let's update that photo.
o-SOPHIA-LOREN-facebook (resized).jpgQuoted from Billc479:When you can remember the basis for the joke about "... letting the pages do the walking thru the yellow fingers."
I never hard that joke but I remember hearing the " Reach out. Reach out and touch someone" jingle many times. All for the long distance bargain prices of 25 cents per minute.
It could take a lot of quarters to make a LD call at the pay phone. Cell phones rule.
Quoted from Scotty_K:The one that I truly can't figure out is pre-cooked bacon that you heat up in the microwave.
I discovered the bacon crumbles at costco. They are real bacon, and not dried out crap. Changed my world, at least regards to jalapeno poppers. Now, instead of wrapping them up, I split them in half, clean out the seeds, smear in some cream cheese and then pile in the bacon. Throw them in the oven, and you get these little perfect boats of flavor.
Cotton - I don't remember the whole thing, just highlights.
There was a kingdom that had a spell placed on it by a witch - the spell was fashioned such that the people in the castle would starve because they could not go out to get food or water. The king sent out his bravest knights, and every time a knight would leave the castle, a giant hand with yellow fingers would drop down and crush the knight. This happened regardless of whether a single knight went out, or several. Anyhow, the king became desperate, and had run out of knights, so he decided to allow any person brave enough to try to get past the hand. A page volunteered to try, and to everyone's amazement, he was able to return with food and water. In fact, he did it several times and all the people in the castle were saved.
The moral of the story is to let your pages do the walking thru the yellow fingers.
You know you're old when you consider that it might be a good idea to carry an extra pair in the car, just in case. And I ain't talkin' about jumper cables!
Quoted from jrpinball:You know you're old when you consider that it might be a good idea to carry an extra pair in the car, just in case. And I ain't talkin' about jumper cables!
I carry a roll of Mr. Whipple's finest for 'just in case". I started doing that about 3 years ago.
Quoted from cottonm4:I carry a roll of Mr. Whipple's finest for 'just in case". I started doing that about 3 years ago.
Oh Boy, this thread is going off the rails now. 
Alcona, ON
Quoted from JohnnyPinball007:And I never wanted any kids, and I never had any kids, BUT, there is this 18 year old brunette I would like to adopt now. BUT, I know that would not go over well at all with my girlfriend. (and that is a joke from some old movie, I think it was Tom Hanks that said something like that in one of his early movies).
Bachelor Party. Funny film.
Quoted from cdnpinbacon:Shiver me timbers! Ahoy capn blackbeard!
[quoted image][quoted image]
Like you Darren, I like my old cool stuff too..I’m a sucker for stuff like this
2A5D03B1-CA5F-4AB5-838B-1B9722BA66E3 (resized).jpeg6216007B-75D6-4E18-8635-6AB212459EC3 (resized).jpegQuoted from DanQverymuch:You know you're old when... um, er... I forgot what I was going to say.
Worse is when you get to the other room and forget what you went to get.
When you start worrying what affect recent events will have on your children's future.
Then you stop caring because you still have a cabinet full of booze and they are old enough to fend for themselves now.
Quoted from cdnpinbacon:I would love to show her off my hockey skills and Then fly her off to Cuba for wine and dancing!
Take her for a ride on your boat. It will be lifetime date because you will be afraid to try to dock it with Martha aboard 
When I tell a couple of my coworkers that I brought a new pinball machine home. . . and they say "Cool! What theme is it?" . . . and I tell them the movie it was based off of. . . and they say "Never heard of it." . . . and I realize the movie (and game) were made before they were ever born. 
Quoted from TractorDoc:When I tell a couple of my coworkers that I brought a new pinball machine home. . . and they say "Cool! What theme is it?" . . . and I tell them the movie it was based off of. . . and they say "Never heard of it." . . . and I realize the movie (and game) were made before they were ever born.
Conversely, when I got the new Stem AIQ, I realized I'm so old, that I have no clue about most of these superheroes....
I thought Captain Marvel was a man. I just learned he's a woman I was confused as to why there was a female voice, I had to Google it.
I've never seen any of the newer superhero movies. It's hard for me to sit through them.
Quoted from RTS:I've never seen any of the newer superhero movies. It's hard for me to sit through them.
I hate movies with constant unrealistic escapes from death, superheroes or not.
Just semi-suffered through WW84 before it goes away from HBOMax after today. It was fun, but, hello, remember physics? Wow, so many dumb things about it.
"I have this moron thing I do, it's called THINKING?" - George Carlin
You and me both, George.
Well I certainly just taught myself a lesson.
Really got the itch to play me some Star Trek Pro,
which is my sons pin. However upon a pre-game inspection I noticed one of the stationary "Red Matter" targets was loose. Now I might of let it slide if it was my machine but the fact that it is my kids machine REQUIRES that I pull the glass, lift the playfied and tighten 'er up.
Don't want it getting any worse.
Only thing is, can't do it as is. The glass hits the wall of our small game room. SO you have to pull the game out, say four or five feet, and turn it oh 'bout 150-160° and face it towards the entry door in order to give it enough room to remove the glass and lift the playfied.
Did I do it? You know I did! Tightened 'er right up and got it back into position.I would REALLY like to add "no problem" at this point but holy cow, now I'm so tired I can't even play!! You know, not too many years ago I used to move 'em around pretty good. Not any more. I'm winded and my back don't feel too good either. Am I playing? NOPE!
Sitting in my electric recliner havin' a beer.
The lesson: ten years goes by fast and when you act like you did ten years ago you're bound to teach yourself a lesson. Next time I need to move a machine I'll wait till the kid's around. Yep, that's what I'll do.
That and have another beer.
Quoted from rollitover:Well I certainly just taught myself a lesson.
Really got the itch to play me some Star Trek Pro, which is my sons pin.
However upon a pre-game inspection I noticed one of the stationary
"Red Matter" targets was loose. Now I might of let it slide if it was my
machine but the fact that it is my kids machine REQUIRES that I pull the
glass, lift the playfied and tighten 'er up. Don't want it getting any worse.
Only thing is, can't do it as is. The glass hits the wall of our small game
room. SO you have to pull the game out, say four or five feet, and turn it
oh 'bout 150-160° and face it towards the entry door in order to give it
enough room to remove the glass and lift the playfied.
Did I do it? You know I did! Tightened 'er right up and got it back into position.
I would REALLY like to add "no problem" at this point but holy cow, now
I'm so tired I can't even play!!
You know, not too many years ago I used to move 'em around pretty good.
Not any more. I'm winded and my back don't feel too good either.
AM I playing? NOPE!
Sitting in my electric recliner havin' a beer.
The lesson: ten years goes by fast and when you act like you did ten years
ago you're bound to teach yourself a lesson.
Next time I need to move a machine I'll wait till the kids around.
Yep, that's what I'll do. That and have another beer.
You need to join us on the “ you know you are getting old” thread 
Quoted from DanQverymuch:I hate movies with constant unrealistic escapes from death, superheroes or not.
Just semi-suffered through WW84 before it goes away from HBOMax after today. .
EXACTLY. I cannot watch those new "super hero" movies.
I'm old, but come on!
Quoted from DanQverymuch:I hate movies with constant unrealistic escapes from death, superheroes or not.
Just semi-suffered through WW84 before it goes away from HBOMax after today. It was fun, but, hello, remember physics? Wow, so many dumb things about it.
"I have this moron thing I do, it's called THINKING?" - George Carlin
You and me both, George.
Quoted from dasvis:EXACTLY. I cannot watch those new "super hero" movies.
I'm old, but come on!
That are kind of like watching cartoons with their physics denying action. I'd rather watch a cartoon.
Quoted from Grayman_EM:When you miss the best food when you were a kid.....
[quoted image]
My friend Joe Babcock behind the counter and having a smoke at the old Eat-Rite Diner in Sappington, Mo in 1967. Behind the camera was a Bally Silver Sails bingo. Wish I would have taken a photo of that. Check out those prices.
IMG-0073.JPG (resized).jpgQuoted from DennisDodel:My friend Joe Babcock behind the counter and having a smoke at the old Eat-Rite Diner in Sappington, Mo in 1967. Behind the camera was a Bally Silver Sails bingo. Wish I would have taken a photo of that. Check out those prices.[quoted image]
Haha, and smoking everywhere was cool!!
Quoted from poppapin:Haha, and smoking everywhere was cool!!
1967. The white rectangle on a pack of smokes that said " Caution: Cigarette smoking may be hazardous to your health" was required in 1965, just two years previous to that photo. I was just a snot nosed 13 year old. All of us read the label one time and after that it was invisible while in plain sight.
We lit up with impunity; With the hopeful thought that bad stuff happened to the other guy.
Quoted from cottonm4:1967. The white rectangle on a pack of smokes that said " Caution: Cigarette smoking may be hazardous to your health" was required in 1965, just two years pervious to that photo. I was just a snot nosed 13 year old. All of us read the label one time and after that it was invisible while in plain sight.
We lit up with impunity; With the hopeful thought that bad stuff happened to the other guy.
Don't forget all the cigarette commercials! This one had a cool jingle, "Winston tastes good, like a cigarette should"
My friend Joe Babcock behind the counter and having a smoke at the old Eat-Rite Diner in Sappington,
Wonderful photo. Thanks for sharing that
Quoted from poppapin:Don't forget all the cigarette commercials! This one had a cool jingle, "Winston tastes good, like a cigarette should"
“Us Tarryton smokers would rather fight than switch”
Quoted from cottonm4:“Us Tarryton smokers would rather fight than switch”
And who couldn't forget this catchy tune from the 70's?
Quoted from DanQverymuch:I hate movies with constant unrealistic escapes from death, superheroes or not.
I hate movies with constant crappy unrealistic and obvious computer generated special effects. Does that make me old?
Quoted from poppapin:Don't forget all the cigarette commercials! This one had a cool jingle, "Winston tastes good, like a cigarette should"
LSMFT. 'Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco' Or as we would say as kids: "Loose Straps Mean Floppy Tits"
Other dumb kid phrases include, at STOP signs: "Spin Tires On Pavement" or "Skip Town Opal's Pregnant".
I'm sure there were more of these but that is all I can recall right now.
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