That's not tolerable, it just isn't. That would end any relationship for me, married or not. I know we don't know the whole of the story, and maybe you're spending your family's live blood money on a hobby, but outside of that, this is not appropriate.
This is vindictive, mean and throws some huge red flags towards her mental stability. I couldn't live with someone who would do this to me, it'd be as bad as them saying they cheated on me.