(Topic ID: 182153)

Why do we need to "be nice"?


By markmon

2 years ago



Topic Stats

  • 137 posts
  • 87 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 2 years ago by gmkalos
  • Topic is favorited by 2 Pinsiders

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There are 136 posts in this topic. You are on page 2 of 3.
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#51 2 years ago

I dunno, but I just got moderated for editing a quote like 2 weeks ago. This site is being over moderated in my opinion. Very disheartening as to the future of the site. Let it go guys.

#52 2 years ago
Quoted from Jean-Luc-Picard:

Apparently... I was reported for saying "Why cant we just get the F**K along. French words are about expressing getting along!

Well you did break the rules ...

https://pinside.com/pinball/help/pinsidecom-community-rules

Keep It Clean

While we realize the internet is the Wild West of images and content, we want Pinside to be a family friendly place. Keep it PG-13, folks. We have a no tolerance policy for images with nudity or material that’s outright disrespectful to women. The same goes for text with vulgar, profane, pornographic, sexually oriented, offensive, or otherwise salacious language (this includes using memes such as “f#ck,” inappropriate text written on attached images, and cleverly concealed text uploaded with image file names).

#53 2 years ago

Being mean =/= correcting people, you can correct somebody and still be nice

#54 2 years ago
Quoted from Chitownpinball:

I dunno, but I just got moderated for editing a quote like 2 weeks ago. This site is being over moderated in my opinion. Very disheartening as to the future of the site. Let it go guys.

There was a complaint in another thread about a couple of quote alterations that someone reported which fell through the cracks and weren't responded to at the time of reporting.

Yes, it seems a little silly to go back to an old post and issue an infraction. But, since there was a complaint and it is technically against the rules, that's how things arrived to this point. I don't imagine you'll do it again, the warning probably served its purpose, and everyone can move on.

#55 2 years ago

The Golden Rule is FLAWED.
You treat others as THEY want to be treated, NOT as you want to be treated.
.
That rule was written by a flawed human who thought they knew how everyone else wants to be treated.
You might actually want to ask someone how to treat them before assuming that you know.

Quoted from OLDPINGUY:

The Golden Rule, in both Positive and Negative form..."Do unto others...." or "Dont do, unto others that which you would not want done to you" is a tenant and core philosophical approach to life, written by the wisest of people, across all cultures, faiths, and time periods...at least back 2500 years in Western culture, and likely 10,000 plus years in the East.
I value the thousands of generations before me, that left this one message as the core to humanities existence
in relation to creating a Civil society, regardless of perspectives.
Simply put, it seems to be humankind Best Advice passed on from Generation to Generation, and for me, personally,
the only way to go through life.
Doesnt mean one cant throw it out the window, but does that make this "New" direction wise? or never tried before?
Wisdom.

#56 2 years ago
Quoted from JDD:

The Golden Rule is FLAWED.
You treat others as THEY want to be treated, NOT as you want to be treated.
.
That rule was written by a flawed human who thought they knew how everyone else wants to be treated.
You might actually want to ask someone how to treat them before assuming that you know.

Sigh.

The general idea is that most people would like to be treated with a modicum of common decency, civility, and respect, and you should expect the same in return. It's not supposed to be complicated.

Obviously, if you want to be treated otherwise, you can just communicate that in some way.

#57 2 years ago
Quoted from JDD:

You might actually want to ask someone how to treat them before assuming that you know.

Can't one easily assume people want to be treated nice? You're saying people should go around asking "hey should I treat you nice? or would you prefer being treated badly?". The other way ("treat me badly") is obviously not going to happen, even if you meant a non-caring person who doesn't care how they are treated who assumes others are the same way, should ask to make sure they can treat people meanly. i.e. they will obviously never say yes

The golden rule should just be "Treat people nicely".

#58 2 years ago

Jdd how do you want to be treated ? Lol . This is a pretty funny thread . What a good a question . I think you are more than welcome being the jerk you want to be there is just limits . The world is much better place with a whole bunch A-holes !

#59 2 years ago
Quoted from JDD:

The Golden Rule is FLAWED.
You treat others as THEY want to be treated, NOT as you want to be treated.
.
That rule was written by a flawed human who thought they knew how everyone else wants to be treated.
You might actually want to ask someone how to treat them before assuming that you know.

Certainly you have the right to your opinion, but if I may.

I want to be treated with Flowers, steaks, and unlimited Alcohol. Im not sure how many people are lining up to treat
me the way I WANT to be treated.

Anyway, I didnt write it, and I guess you have more insight then all the Gods, Leaders, Prophets, Sages, and Wise man
then ever lived!

Please do write a book, I am your first customer!

#60 2 years ago

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#61 2 years ago
Quoted from tktlwyr:

If you want people to act with civility, it needs to be controlled by the moderators without exception if someone posts something dickish. I've even seen this in FS threads and watch it go on and on. Moderators are supposed to moderate. It's more than a title, it's a responsibility when accepting the title.

Just FYI: saying a price is out of line or commenting on a game's description is NOT being dickish, even if said comments are negative. FS threads are not sacrosanct. If a seller wants no commentary, they can decline to create a thread with the ad. Simple.

#63 2 years ago

Different opinions should be accepted, but constant bashing should not. Say how you feel and move on. Someone disagrees and states how they feel about a comment then move on. Nobody has to be right and nobody has to be wrong. The world don't move to the beat of just one drum, what may be right for you may not be right for some.

#64 2 years ago

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#65 2 years ago

It's 2017. No online bullying either!
pledge_pin-Neidermeyer-isabully (resized).jpg

#66 2 years ago
Quoted from Pinball-is-great:

It's 2017. No online bullying either!

Nice. That scene was filmed directly across the street from my apartment in Eugene, Oregon when I was going to school at U of O...

#67 2 years ago
Quoted from metallik:

Just FYI: saying a price is out of line or commenting on a game's description is NOT being dickish, even if said comments are negative. FS threads are not sacrosanct. If a seller wants no commentary, they can decline to create a thread with the ad. Simple.

This is not what I was alluding to. I've seen plenty of FS posts completely derailed by negativity to the seller.

Regarding price policing, it's not your job. Let the market dictate what it sells for.

Regarding a game description, if it's clearly not as described, comment away.

#68 2 years ago

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#69 2 years ago

ill go with subjective. Lets say someone were to post: "Purge huh! You can start with purging deez nutz!" I would be laughing my ass off while many snowflakes would be melting away spamming their precious little dv button...

#70 2 years ago
Quoted from Chitownpinball:

I dunno, but I just got moderated for editing a quote like 2 weeks ago. This site is being over moderated in my opinion. Very disheartening as to the future of the site. Let it go guys.

I actually agree with this. I have got in trouble for absolutely NOTHING on two or three occasions while certain people on here are nothing but sh*t starters and nothing is ever said to them. I guess they must be in the right clique or something. I think anyone being a total jerk should definitely be moderated but I've definitely been on the receiving end of some over moderating a couple of times.

#71 2 years ago
Quoted from PopBumperPete:

Why be an asshole?
Seriously, some people seem to go out of there way and are only happy when they can poke, dig or otherwise put down others members

Diversity of opinion through presenting a variety of viewpoints is actually a positive sign that a forum isn't dissolving into an isolationist hivemind based circle jerk (like AA already has).

I see very few actual examples on pinside of what you are describing. Not everyone is going to agree with an opinion, but attempting to sterilise the forum via extreme measures won't help with forum growth either.

#72 2 years ago

Funny when I heard they would get rid of people that aren't nice Markmon was the first name that came to mind
Can't have pinside without markmon

#73 2 years ago
Quoted from TheLaw:

Funny when I heard they would get rid of people that aren't nice Markmon was the first name that came to mind
Can't have pinside without markmon

I come here to read and help out but if people feel I'm so "not nice" that I gotta go, I guess it's for the best. I don't plan to change my ways lol.

But so far I haven't even had any warnings so I think I'm probably OK. I do try to follow the rules as I understand them.

#74 2 years ago

You're not around enough to really pissing anyone off anyway.

#75 2 years ago
Quoted from robin:

Be nice = Don't be a dickIt means "Don't be a dick" (but I didn't think that to be appropriate for an official notification message). Don't say things that you wouldn't say to someone in person.
Did you read the accompanying text for this rule?
Be nice: “We expect everyone who participates on Pinside to be welcoming, friendly, and respectful on the forum. It's as simple as using common social sense and acting as if you're interacting with another Pinsider face-to-face.”

See this is still really vague. "being a dick" doesn't really have any specific definition. If someone swears you can point this out and there is no disputing it. Same with name calling. Someone can accuse me of being a dick and I could say "no I am not" (and mean it). It's at least subjective enough that it can be interpreted in different ways.

As for treating others as I would want to be treated or talking like I would in person, I would argue that I do that but who knows how I want to be treated? That's a tough one also.

Is it really a requirement to actually be friendly in all circumstances? Why is that even desirable? I can see being respectful or never calling anyone names but I feel it should be OK to be kurt and not have to be friendly.

We are all "big boys" here. I feel like we shouldn't have to pussy foot around each other. I see my original post received a few thumbs downs so I must be in the minority in feeling this way.

#76 2 years ago
Quoted from markmon:

Someone can accuse me of being a dick and I could say "no I am not" (and mean it).

Don't sell yourself short.

#77 2 years ago

aaaaand that's why it's tough to be part of this community. i put up with !@#%s at work all day because i get paid and have to. when i have free time, i want to hang out with people who understand "don't be a dick"

#78 2 years ago

Don't leave markmon. I understand that you are pointing out what to you seems like a rather large gray area in the rules, and you feel it would be better for all if there is a more detailed list of clear rules that help make it more black and white as to what is allowed.

I am the type person that doesn't like tons of rules every where I turn. Wears me down. I'm for the nice basic golden rule and the Wheaton version, along with most of the other Pinside rules that already exist, ...and let the moderators and Robin sort out the violations and disputes as needed.

Clarification to above: Some Pinsiders enjoy pushing the limits of what is "ok", especially when there is not much going on of major interest in the pinball world intermittently. This is a lot of the bs that Robin and the mods get tired of imho, as it wastes a lot of their free time having to police the dicks, when both they and the dicks know that much of it is quite un-necessary.

I'm looking fwd to 2017 being another good year for pinball, and for hanging out with pinball friends.

#79 2 years ago
Quoted from pinsanity:

Diversity of opinion through presenting a variety of viewpoints is actually a positive sign that a forum isn't dissolving into an isolationist hivemind based circle jerk (like AA already has).
I see very few actual examples on pinside of what you are describing. Not everyone is going to agree with an opinion, but attempting to sterilise the forum via extreme measures won't help with forum growth either.

And yet many of my posts you seem to want to poke, dig or other wise correct me
or have another dig at AA

..or both

#80 2 years ago

I have to be nice because my wife is a teacher and I don't like 'going to sit over there and thinking about what I have done'.

#81 2 years ago

The way I see it is, that Pinside is Robins source of income, then expect more of a crackdown

A warm and open forum will generate $$

angry people scare people off, thus less $$

#82 2 years ago

If someone wants to be a dick to me in a thread, I could care less... Just don't be a hypocrite dick, meaning, if you're a dick to me in a thread, I fully expect you to just as big of a dick in person at a show. None of this "Hey Buddy" shit.

-Steve

#83 2 years ago
Quoted from VDrums2112:

If someone wants to be a dick to me in a thread, I could care less... Just don't be a hypocrite dick, meaning, if you're a dick to me in a thread, I fully expect you to just as big of a dick in person at a show. None of this "Hey Buddy" shit.
-Steve

for the win

#84 2 years ago

Why is this concept so hard to grasp? Being nice has nothing to do with disagreeing with someone. It means you can respond to someone without flying off the handle. You can have a good discussion with someone and be nice during it. If someone posts incorrect information, just let them know how and why, you don't have to be a dick about it.

It keeps the atmosphere here better if everyone does not respond angry right away.

#86 2 years ago

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#87 2 years ago
Quoted from markmon:

What constitutes being nice or not being nice?

I think it's funny that you have to explain to an adult what "being nice" means.

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#88 2 years ago
Quoted from markmon:

See this is still really vague. "being a dick" doesn't really have any specific definition. If someone swears you can point this out and there is no disputing it. Same with name calling. Someone can accuse me of being a dick and I could say "no I am not" (and mean it). It's at least subjective enough that it can be interpreted in different ways.
As for treating others as I would want to be treated or talking like I would in person, I would argue that I do that but who knows how I want to be treated? That's a tough one also.
Is it really a requirement to actually be friendly in all circumstances? Why is that even desirable? I can see being respectful or never calling anyone names but I feel it should be OK to be kurt and not have to be friendly.
We are all "big boys" here. I feel like we shouldn't have to pussy foot around each other. I see my original post received a few thumbs downs so I must be in the minority in feeling this way.

Maybe a better way to put it is, "Be Civil".

I actually appreciate the gruff approach you take on most matters. You're generally a zero BS poster. You call it like you see it, and defend your position.

There is no need to get in to a debate about what "Be Nice" means. It means, don't be mean. It means don't bully people. It means don't troll people. It means make your point without requiring that somebody else eat a Sh!t Sandwich!

I understand you're asking the merit of the stance, and not looking for a definition of "nice".

Look at this this way... Yes, "We're all big boys here"... except that's not actually the case. There are some (Gosh, I wish there were more!) Women. There are some younger kids. There are parents and grandparents on this site. Just BE respectful. A more respectful environment will encourage more participation from people who are perhaps intimidated.

It's not some unreasonable and impossible to define standard. It's common sense.

If your question is actually, "Why does it matter if we're "nice"?", the answer is, "It Matters". Being nice makes alternative viewpoints easier to take. It makes criticism more palatable. It makes discussion more possible. Being "Nice", or being "Civil", or being "Respectful" just makes this a nicer place to be.

My 2 Cents.

#89 2 years ago

I personally have no issues with someone pointing out in a FS thread / ad that the price may be out of line. I think that it does a service especially for the people that may not be totally up on current prices. Maybe a noob that is looking at the ad perhaps to purchase. If you are selling, you can ask anything you want, and the market will eventually dictate if its a good price. Again, my 2 cents. Also there are ways to point out a high price without being a dick.

#90 2 years ago

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#91 2 years ago

Because being nice is nice. By definition.

17
#92 2 years ago

Only on Pinside could the simple idea of being kind to others prove to be controversial to some.

#93 2 years ago
Quoted from blueberryjohnson:

Because being nice is nice. By definition.

(nice == nice)

#94 2 years ago

There are a lot of young people here and a lot of them are just visitors looking for information about their game.

Try to set a positive example.
Help out if you can.
Keep it civil, be respectful.

Be gentle with yourselves and others.

If you dont have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.

Really an easy to follow set of rules.

#95 2 years ago

"does this post add value to a 3rd party reading the thread?"

If you can't answer that honestly.. then you might want to re-think why you are posting it and consider if it should be a PM or just something that you should count to 10 for...

#96 2 years ago
Quoted from flynnibus:

"does this post add value to a 3rd party reading the thread?"
If you can't answer that honestly.. then you might want to re-think why you are posting it and consider if it should be a PM or just something that you should count to 10 for...

Exactly my thoughts.

#97 2 years ago

The answer is also not released yet

#98 2 years ago

I can't believe no one has yet posted a link to the "D***ks & A**h***s" scene from "Team America /World Police".

#99 2 years ago

Being nice on Pinside is not a hard concept. Geesh

#100 2 years ago
Quoted from MapleSyrup:

If your question is actually, "Why does it matter if we're "nice"?", the answer is, "It Matters". Being nice makes alternative viewpoints easier to take. It makes criticism more palatable. It makes discussion more possible. Being "Nice", or being "Civil", or being "Respectful" just makes this a nicer place to be.

So this is part of my question also. Sometimes I post on my phone and don't feel like typing a bunch of niceties to get to the point. It's not trying to be mean or anything it's just being brief. But this can seem rude at times. I think it shouldn't be policed.

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