(Topic ID: 116473)

Whitepaper: Pinball pre-ordering = Battered Husband Syndrome

By lowepg

9 years ago


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Topic Stats

  • 34 posts
  • 22 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 9 years ago by lowepg
  • Topic is favorited by 1 Pinsider

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11
#11 9 years ago

I know you're trying to prove a point and all, but as someone who had a friend who was battered and eventually murdered by her husband because she tried to leave him, there's no comparison. People giving money to a manufacturer for a luxury toy and making excuses for them does not equate real women being afraid for their lives. You said you don't understand, so here's a little more info if you are so inclined to read it.

Quoted from lowepg:

I read a recent newspaper article describing a woman who was being continuously abused by her spouse and yet refused to leave him. While I absolutely think the husband was a monster in the situation and 100% to blame, a small part of me couldn't understand why the women just wouldn't (or couldn't) leave him.

Sometimes it is easier to stay and be beaten than to try to leave and be killed. Quoted from the link I provided below:
"Women are most likely to be murdered when attempting to report abuse or to leave an abusive relationship. (Sonkin et al., 1985, Browne, 1987).
...the significantly increased risk was not due to an escalation of the violence that was already present in these marital relationships. Rather, they point out that batterers warned their wives that if they left they would be killed; they then followed through on those threats."

Many women don't stay, then have to go back because they have no place to go. Many women have a controlling husband that will not allow them to have a job, and therefore they have no money, no way to support themselves, and no way out. If they have children, they can't just grab them and run without reporting it to the schools. If they have no family, they have to try to find a shelter. Not all cities have a shelter, most shelters have a limit and waiting list, and many shelters will not take in pets that the woman refuses to leave behind to die.

A half-way determined husband can find them anyway. I work at an insurance company and occasionally we have to stop all mail to the home so that the husband can't find the wife. Before we had established an emergency procedure in place for this, a woman died because the letter about her hospital care indicating where she was went to the address on file, he got it, and the next day stabbed her to death in the hospital for daring to leave him. My friend was actively trying to leave her husband and get her 2 kids somewhere safe, and when her husband found out, he came home, beat her senseless in front of the children, drug her outside by her hair, and strangled her in the front yard, leaving her body there.

http://intimateviolencedeathnews.blogspot.com/2010/10/chattanooga-tn-update-new-details-in.html

Here's the link in case anyone cares: http://www.ncdsv.org/images/20reasonswhyshestays.pdf

#16 9 years ago

I know it's an older article, it's just the first one I grabbed from the many on a simple search. And yes, things have changed since then, but had a simple explanation of "why." However, my friend died less than 5 years ago, while actively trying to leave her husband, and despite multiple calls to police and shelters in her last few days. And I've stopped letters at work to abuse cases 8 times in the last year. So it's not like things have stopped because we got camera phones. And yes, women are crazy too. I know of a few males in abusive relationships, and that's almost worse because they are made fun of instead of believed and taken care of. It's just a sad state all around.

My main point is... I'm in on Predator, paid in full, and have been waiting for my machine for 3 years now. I was a big cheerleader for them originally, and have been continually getting more aggravated with the delays and lack of information. But I'm pretty sure I can ask for a refund without having to worry about being murdered. It may be a pain, and I might have a fight on my hands to get a reply and my money, but it's not life and death.

#28 9 years ago
Quoted from jlm33:

Post edited by jlm33: tall, not tail... so sorry! Have to hide somewhere... you can freeze me as punishment

No need to hide, I'm used to it. I jokingly said at one point that I was going to make a sticky note that I was indeed a tall, blonde female... and not a weird version of a blonde-tailed deer or chaser of blondes. lol

Quoted from underlord:

(It's Blondetall)....
She was very forgiving of my mistake in her name ( Fruedian? Perhaps. She IS a looker).

Normally I'd jokingly tell you to stop stalking me, but this is a weird thread so I'm just going to take this as a compliment and behave instead.

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