Okay. I don't remember a lot of jokes, so I have to share a few I know:
The seven dwarfs walk up to a convent. Dopey knocks on the door. A nun answers and Dopey asks, "Sister, are there any nuns in this convent my size?" The nun replies, "No, Dopey, there aren't." The other six dwarfs giggle. "Okay, sister, are there any nuns in the city my size?" asks Dopey. "No, Dopey, I don't know of any" says the nun. The dwarfs giggle. "Well, sister, tell me, are there any nuns in the whole world my size?" Dopey asks. The nun replies, "No. Dopey, I'm afraid there aren't." The other dwarfs start giggling, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Dopey f!@*ed a penguin!"
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What's the difference between an asshole and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
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How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on him.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way. Unique up on him.
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Little Johnny walks in on his parents having sex. Johnny asks, "Dad, whatcha doin'?"
"I'm playing poker, son."
"What's mom doing?"
"Well, she's my wild card."
Johnny thinks about it for a moment then leaves.
The next week Johnny walks in on his grandparents and asks, "Grandpa, whatcha doin'?"
"I'm playing poker."
"What's grandma doing?"
"She's my wild card."
Johnny thinks about it for a moment then leaves.
Later that week, his dad walks in on Johnny flogging his log in the bathroom.
Dad asks, "Son, what are you doing?"
"I'm playing poker, dad."
"Where's your wild card?"
"You don't need one when you've got a good hand."