Two newlyweds go on their honeymoon at a scenic destination, and the husband asks his bride if they can do the helicopter tour. Her response is that there are better ways to spend their money, and $100 bucks is a $100 bucks.

25 years later they are on their silver anniversary trip to another scenic destination, and again the husband asks his wife if they can do the helicopter tour. Her response is that there are better ways to spend their money, and $100 bucks is a $100 bucks.

25 more years pass and they are on their gold anniversary trip to yet another scenic destination, and while sightseeing the husband asks his wife again, if they can do the helicopter tour. Again, her response is that there are better ways to spend their money, and $100 bucks is a $100 bucks. However, this time a gentlemen happened to overhear their discussion, and chimed in saying that he was actually a helicopter tour guide and he was willing to make them a deal. As a friendly gesture, he would offer both of them a free helicopter tour under one condition - that they both remain silent during the entire experience. If either one of them said a word, then they would have to pay the $100 fee for the ride.

The husband and wife discussed for a minute, and he was able to persuade her to take the helicopter tour guide up on his offer. So, they meet the pilot at the helipad, get in, put their headsets and mics on, and they were off. Once in the air the pilot, not wanting to lose a tour fee, immediately began performing his most acrobatic maneuvers. He knew full well that it would be impossible for the elderly couple to not say something during all of the twisting, turning, and otherwise horrifying ride. The flight went on like this for 30 minutes, and to the pilot's utter dismay he didn't hear a single word from the back seat of the helicopter. When the flight was over, as he was touching down on the helipad he told the couple it was okay to talk now and asked, "How in the world did you stay quiet the entire flight?" The husband responded back and said his wife had forgotten to latch her seatbelt and that she went flying out the door on the very first maneuver. The pilot was shocked, and in panic asked, "Why didn't you say anything?" The husband comely responded by saying, "I was going to, but $100 bucks is $100 bucks."

ba dum tssh

The FDA announced today to be vary cautious when purchasing Viagra and other ED medications online, as it has been found that the medications could be Russian counterfeit pharmaceuticals. They urge all users to please examine all bottles very carefully to ensure "Made In The USA" is printed on the label. It is critical that everyone do this because the US government does not want Russia meddling with our erections.

Let's just say he possesses a biological depth gauge.

Well, I've heard that most other men exaggerate.