A man is shipwrecked on a deserted island...
...and spends many months alone. Just as he's reaching the point that he's starting to go crazy, he spots a ship in the distance and, all excited, lights a fire on the beach that he'd prepared for just such an eventuality.
He's overjoyed when he sees the ship change course and start heading for his island but his joy turns to shock as he sees the ship suddenly come to a jarring halt as it runs aground on a hidden reef. Within minutes, the ship is sinking and with it, his hopes. Dejected, he goes back to his makeshift shelter and cries himself to sleep.
The next day, he's going for his customary morning walk along the beach and spots a figure lying face down in the sand. He rushes over and sees that it's a woman wearing only her underwear.
He turns her over and can't believe what he sees... it's Jennifer Lawrence! In shock, he drags her out of the surf and begins to administer mouth to mouth. Soon enough, she splutters out a lungful of seawater and opens her eyes.
He tells her that he has rescued her and that there seem to be no other survivors. She is of course, extremely grateful to have been rescued and shows her thanks in the most appropriate way by reaching up to pull him down to her and kisses him long and deeply...
The kisses continue and before he knows it, she's stripped off his clothes and is straddling him on the beach as they happily bang away.
Her gratitude shows no signs of abating over the days and weeks that follow and his solitary island existence is forgotten in a carnal extravaganza of day long poundings and late night strokings.
They do it on the beach, in the water, in his shelter, up a tree, with him on top, with her on top, side to side and back to front. They do it with their clothes on, they do it naked, they do it whenever and wherever they want and they want it a lot.
One evening, they're sitting by the fire, well sated by the day's ardent bonking, when she notices that he seems a bit glum.
"What's the matter?" She asks.
"Oh... nothing." he says in return.
"Come on," she replies, "I can see something's wrong.. what is it??"
"You'll just laugh at me," he says nervously.
"No I won't! You can tell me... whatever it is, I promise I won't laugh"
He considers for a moment and then says "Well... you know.. we've been making love for a long time now. We've done it with you on top, with me on top, from behind, missionary, reverse cowgirl, up a tree.. you know.. every possible way I can think of but... something's missing... I mean... I...." his voice trails off....
"What is it?" She encourages him, "I'll do anything for you, anything at all, you know that! You saved my life!"
"Well.." he says nervously, picking up an old ember of burnt wood, "Would you... would you mind if I drew a moustache on you?"
"What??" she begins to say and he quickly says "See! I knew you'd laugh!"
"No no.." She replies, "It's fine.. if that's what you want to do, go for it!"
So he reaches over and with the burnt wood, carefully draws a thick black moustache on her upper lip, then sits back and looks at her.
She looks back at him expectantly.
"Um.." He says... "Would you mind if er.. if I called you Frank?"
She smiles at him and says "Baby, you can call me anything you like."
He sits there for a moment then says "Frank...?"
She smiles and answers "Yes baby?"
"Frank!" He says.. "Frank! You'll never guess who I've been fucking!"