(Topic ID: 175061)

What's Your Best Joke, Pinball-Related or Otherwise?

By Dooskie

7 years ago


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#289 5 years ago

- If we're going to fight the war on terror...a good place to start would be the nations haunted houses.

- Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's almost never for them.

- I'm not really on top trends....when everyone was burning CD's, I was still burning books.

2 years later
13
#859 2 years ago

A few years ago I was out at the bar drinking with my buddy. I had a few too many drinks and puked all over myself. I was worried about going home to the wife all drunk and covered in vomit.

My buddy said, "here 10$" and he places it in my front shirt pocket soaked in vomit.

I asked him what it was for and he replied, "so when your wife asks you why you have vomit all over your shirt, you can say some guy puked on you and then he gave you 10$ to get the shirt dry cleaned."

I told him he was a genius and took a cab home.

When I got home, sure as shit the wife asks me why my shirt is covered in vomit.

I said, "relax honey, some guy puked on me and he gave me 10$ to get my shirt dry cleaned" as I pointed to my front shirt pocket with the money sticking out of it.

She grabbed it and said, "there's 20$ in here!"

I said, "I know....he also crapped in my pants."

1 month later
#894 2 years ago

One of the best lines a Canadian politician has ever delivered!! LOL

1 year later
#1331 1 year ago

There's a woman named Harriet who is getting married and she's afraid of the size of her opening.

She calls up her mother and says, "what am I going to do? I'm so big down there, when I marry Harry he's going to divorce me!"

Her mother replies, "don't worry honey it runs in the family. Do what I did when I married your father and go down to the morgue and get a couple of raw livers and put them in there. He'll never know the difference."

So she heeds her mothers advice and they have 8 hours of sex after their wedding.

The next morning she wakes up and Harry is gone. But there's a note on the pillow.

It reads...

"My darling Harriet, to think that I waited a year to consumate our loving relationship makes my heartbeat so loudly I'm surprised it didn't wake you up!

The only reason I'm not here with you right now darling is I'm at work to make enough money to buy you a house with a picket fence so we can have dogs and children.

When the five o'clock dinner bell rings I'll be home like a winged gossamer in your loving arms.

Your loving husband,
Harry

PS - your cunt is in the sink."

5 months later
#1414 7 months ago

My grandfather was a dyslexic baker in army. He used to go in with buns a glazing!

3 months later
11
#1418 3 months ago

The best Christmas gift you can give this year is a broken drum.

Nobody can beat that!

2 months later
#1427 30 days ago

I wanted to send an email today, but didn't know which account to use.

Frustrated, I asked my magic eight ball.

It replied, "Outlook not good."

2 weeks later
#1433 15 days ago

I’m not sure about this daylight savings thing.

I give it 6 months at best.

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