(Topic ID: 175061)

What's Your Best Joke, Pinball-Related or Otherwise?


By Dooskie

2 years ago



Topic Stats

  • 376 posts
  • 168 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 2 days ago by pinfixer
  • Topic is favorited by 48 Pinsiders

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There are 376 posts in this topic. You are on page 8 of 8.
#351 14 days ago

The currently inflated pinball prices are the best joke ever. Prices should be around half imo.

#352 10 days ago

I have been sexually active since 9

My wrist is now very sore as it is 9.45

#353 10 days ago

The FDA announced today to be vary cautious when purchasing Viagra and other ED medications online, as it has been found that the medications could be Russian counterfeit pharmaceuticals. They urge all users to please examine all bottles very carefully to ensure "Made In The USA" is printed on the label. It is critical that everyone do this because the US government does not want Russia meddling with our erections.

#354 10 days ago
Quoted from daddyxxx:

When is it time to go to bed at Michael Jackson house......when the big hand touch's the little hand.....

That isn't funny. Michael Jackson tried his best to reform himself and be the best person he could be. None of us are perfect. In fact I remember him giving a very touching interview with Barbra Walters where he vowed to only date Twenty-Nine year olds from that day forward. Barbara then asked "why 29 year olds?" to which MJ replied "Are you kidding? BECAUSE THERE ARE 20 OF THEM."

#355 10 days ago
Quoted from Vdrums:

Just came up with this one so don't sue me.....
A couple is lying in bed passionately kissing when the woman stops him and says "honey I've been thinking maybe you should put on protection" and the guys says "why are we talking about this right now?" She replies "Because we have to think about the future." He snaps back "Ok fine... Cliffy's or mylar?"

Great joke. I just sent it to Cliffy. All credit to you sir!

#356 10 days ago

My performance in league last week was a joke. That's pinball related.

#357 10 days ago

When she moved away...

I had a huge crush on the pretty girl who lived next door but never had the courage to tell her so. Then she moved a couple states away and I missed her so much that I started writing to her every day, pouring my heart out in each of the letters. I sent every one by registered mail with return receipt requested, so she would have to sign for them and I would be sure she received them all.
Six months later she married the postman.

#358 9 days ago

The origin of an expression:

Attacked while in the library, I defended myself by throwing heavy bound editions of the classics at my assailant. David Copperfield and A Tale of Two Cities scored direct hits, but it was Moby Dick bouncing off his nose that caused the attacker to run away as he yelled "that hurt like the Dickens!"

#359 9 days ago

How about original jokes? New England style...

An oyster and 2 quohogs roll into a bar.
The bartender says "What'll ya have?"
The oyster says "A round of Sam Adams for the three of us".
The bartender says "That'll be 2 clams".
The oyster says "Let's go fellas I hate drinking alone."

do-do-tschh.

#360 9 days ago

sometimes you need visuals

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#361 9 days ago
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#362 9 days ago
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#363 8 days ago

Pretty girls in Barcelona don't carry umbrellas, because as everyone knows...the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.

Quoted from KozMckPinball:

How about original jokes?

Everything I've posted in this thread has been my own original.

#364 7 days ago
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#365 7 days ago
Quoted from littlecammi:

Pretty girls in Barcelona don't carry umbrellas, because as everyone knows...the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.

Everything I've posted in this thread has been my own original.

Although the setups may be original, the punchlines are not.

#366 7 days ago

A woman asked her husband if her dress made her look fat. He took a long breath and said "honey... I'm going to be completely honest with you, but you have to promise that no matter what I say you won't get mad." The wife reluctantly agreed. The man said "I'm sleeping with your sister."

#367 6 days ago

What if Dukes of Hazzard had starred Abbott and Costello? Think about it:

What kind of car do you drive?
General Lee.
Yeah, generally what kind of car do you drive?
I just told you.
No, you just said generally.
Exactly.
Just tell me exactly what car you drive.
I can tell you exactly that its General Lee.

#368 6 days ago
Quoted from littlecammi:

What if Dukes of Hazzard had starred Abbott and Costello? Think about it:
What kind of car do you drive?
General Lee.
Yeah, generally what kind of car do you drive?
I just told you.
No, you just said generally.
Exactly.
Just tell me exactly what car you drive.
I can tell you exactly that its General Lee.

....and IF the General Lee was made by General Motors (yes I know it was a Dodge) but the punchline would go on forever!!

#369 5 days ago

A Teacher's story about stuttering

A Teacher is explaining Biology to her 4th Grade Students.

"Human beings are the only Animals that stutter,' she says

A little Girl raises her Hand. 'I had a Kitty-Cat who stuttered.'

The Teacher, knowing how precious some of these Stories could become, asked the Girl to describe the incident

"Well," she began, 'I was in the back Yard with my Kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the Fence into our Yard!'

'That must've been scary,' said the Teacher.

'It sure was,' said the little Girl.

'My Kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF," but before she could say '@#ck-off !,' the Rottweiler ate her!

The Teacher had to leave the Room.

#370 5 days ago

This funny sign appears atop a South Park at Jilly's Arcade on the Ocean City, New Jersey boardwalk.

Incidentally, Jilly's has 2 nice rows of pinballs at only 25 cents per play.

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#371 5 days ago
Quoted from ZNET:

This funny sign appears atop a South Park

That sign and a Cartman figure for on top the game, came with the game.

LTG : )

#372 4 days ago

My favorite frog joke starts at 7:19.
Wally

#373 4 days ago

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool.

One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; as you can see, we're joined side by side at the hip. I’m John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian draft beers please."

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers.

"Been on holiday yet, boys"?

"Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?"

Jim agrees.

"Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture ..."

"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John.

"Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim?

And we can't stand the English - they're so arrogant and rude."

Bartender asks: “Then why keep going to England?”

"It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."

#374 4 days ago

<Patient asks me if I'm a surgeon>
Me: "I couldn't cut it as a surgeon..."
<drumroll splash>

Never fails!

#375 3 days ago

Did you hear about the new movie called Constipation?
-Its okay, it hasn't came out yet.

#376 2 days ago

What do Germans call constipation?

Farfrompoopin

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There are 376 posts in this topic. You are on page 8 of 8.

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