(Topic ID: 175061)

What's Your Best Joke, Pinball-Related or Otherwise?

By Dooskie

4 years ago


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  • Latest reply 5 days ago by RTS
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There are 981 posts in this topic. You are on page 20 of 20.
#951 14 days ago
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#954 13 days ago

Little Johnny is watching his Mom rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her “why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?” His mother replies “to make myself beautiful Johnny.” A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her “What is the matter? Are you giving up?”

#955 13 days ago
Quoted from LTG:

I always liked, "why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat ?"
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be in the f**king boat.
LTG : )

I had low expectations when I saw this thread but you got me with this one.

#956 13 days ago
Quoted from rcbrown316:

I had low expectations when I saw this thread but you got me with this one.

Quoted from rcbrown316:

I had low expectations when I saw this thread but you got me with this one.

I have since read about 40 entries...and my expectations have returned to normal.

#957 13 days ago

whats the worlds smallest hotel? a womans vagina cos ya gotta leave ya bags outside

#958 13 days ago

I am a lot older now, and I recently went to the doctor.

The doctor says good to see you again little Johnny, what can I do for you?

I said well doc, I am having a whole lot of gas, and the weird thing is that it does not smell.

The doctor gives me some pills and tells me to come back in 2 weeks.

When I return the doctor asks how are you doing now little Johnny?

I said well, I do not know what those pills were that you gave me, but I am still having a whole lot of gas, but now the gas smells really bad.

The doctor said well little Johnny, now that we have cleared up your sinus issue, we will try to help you with your gas issue now.

#959 13 days ago

^^ that is my favorite joke. I’ve heard it many times over the years and it is always good.

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#960 13 days ago
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#961 13 days ago
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#966 13 days ago
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#967 13 days ago

What's the difference between a Stick-Up and a Hold-Up?

Your Age.....

10
#968 13 days ago

A Horse, A Chicken & A Harley
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together.

One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.

Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!

Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.

Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.

Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.

Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him.

After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!

Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.

The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.

A few weeks later, the chicken fell in to a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!

The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.

Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit.

The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.

The moral of the story?
(yep, you betcha, there is a moral!)

'When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks'

LTG : )

#969 12 days ago

An old physician, Doctor Gordon Geezer, became very bored in retirement and decided to re-open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said: “ Dr. Geezer's Clinic. Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured, get back $1,000."

Doctor Digger Young, who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000, so he went to Dr.Geezer’s clinic.

Dr Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?
Dr Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr Young: 'Aaagh! -- This is Gasoline!"
Dr Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500."
Dr Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.
Dr Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
Dr Young: "Oh, no you don't -- that is Gasoline!"
Dr Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500."
Dr Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!"
Dr Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so, "Here's your $1000 back" (giving him a $10 bill).
Dr Young: "But this is only $10!"
Dr Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."

*Moral of story* -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer” .

*Remember:* Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off.

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#981 5 days ago

A husband notices his wife’s hearing is deteriorating and decides to visit her doctor for advice.

“I can’t speak to my wife directly as she might find it offensive, given our old age” he says to the doc.

“There’s a simple trick you can try to determine her hearing” explains the doctor. “Simply ask her a question at a distance and if she doesn’t hear you, move slightly closer and ask again until she does”.

That night, the husband arrives home and sees his wife in the kitchen cooking. He thinks to himself, “what a perfect opportunity to test her hearing”.

He stands in the doorway of the kitchen and promptly asks;

“What’s for dinner honey?”

No answer. He moves closer.

“What’s for dinner honey?”

Still no answer. He moves even closer.

“What’s for dinner honey?”

Still his wife doesn’t answer. He now sees how serious her hearing problem is. At this point, he is standing right next to his wife.

“What’s for dinner honey?”

“FOR THE FOURTH FUCKING TIME WE’RE HAVING CHICKEN”

There are 981 posts in this topic. You are on page 20 of 20.

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