(Topic ID: 175061)

What's Your Best Joke, Pinball-Related or Otherwise?

By Dooskie

7 years ago


Topic Heartbeat

Topic Stats

You

Linked Games

Topic Gallery

View topic image gallery

IMG_3225 (resized).jpeg
IMG_9799.jpeg
IMG_9802.jpeg
IMG_9800.jpeg
IMG_9797.jpeg
IMG_9798.jpeg
Screenshot_20240324_173354_Messages (resized).jpg
Fred_Flintstone (resized).png
IMG_3221.jpeg
IMG_3220.jpeg
IMG_3218.jpeg
IMG_3215.jpeg
IMG_3219.jpeg
IMG_3216.jpeg
IMG_3217.jpeg
IMG_3213.jpeg

There are 1,455 posts in this topic. You are on page 17 of 30.
11
#801 3 years ago

A young Naval Officer was in a terrible car accident, but
due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the
loss of one ear.

Since he wasn't physically impaired he remained in the
military and eventually became an Admiral. However, during his career he
was always sensitive about his appearance.

One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs
and a MarineSergeant Major for his personal staff.

The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a
great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, "Do you
notice anything different about me?"

The Master Chief answered, "Why yes sir. I couldn't help but
notice you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this
impacts your hearing on that side."

The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw
him out of his office.

The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked
this same question, answered, "Well yes sir, you seem to be short one ear."
The Admiral threw him out also.

The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He
was articulate, extremely sharp,
and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put
together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same
question.

"Do you notice anything different about me?"

To his surprise the Sergeant Major said, "Yes, sir. You wear
contact lenses."

The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an
incredibly tactful Marine. "And how do you know that?" the Admiral asked.

The Sergeant Major replied, "Well sir, it's pretty hard to
wear glasses with only one fuckin' ear."

LTG : )

#802 3 years ago
E06BBBE4-2C2A-4EC5-8E81-CB2F21852398.jpegE06BBBE4-2C2A-4EC5-8E81-CB2F21852398.jpeg
#803 3 years ago
guts (resized).jpgguts (resized).jpg
#804 3 years ago

And Chutzpah is best explained by the story of the man who murdered his parents and begged for the mercy of the Court, being an orphan.

#807 3 years ago
18DF8A7D-BAB5-4CF0-B367-9D60472FC4CA.jpeg18DF8A7D-BAB5-4CF0-B367-9D60472FC4CA.jpeg
#808 3 years ago
D960DDD7-92E7-42CC-9340-7943AE77C39F.jpegD960DDD7-92E7-42CC-9340-7943AE77C39F.jpeg
#809 3 years ago
8B4A603A-CA92-4DEA-B79F-F83D31400D56.jpeg8B4A603A-CA92-4DEA-B79F-F83D31400D56.jpeg
#810 3 years ago
9B4368A9-C14C-4C14-B2FB-BF27747FC45F.jpeg9B4368A9-C14C-4C14-B2FB-BF27747FC45F.jpeg
#811 3 years ago
D58D57D0-8A8D-4FB6-A309-ECF9D1ABD3EE.jpegD58D57D0-8A8D-4FB6-A309-ECF9D1ABD3EE.jpeg
#812 3 years ago
C2C113F9-9CA5-4871-B0FF-683C6C30B43A.jpegC2C113F9-9CA5-4871-B0FF-683C6C30B43A.jpeg
#814 3 years ago
5C70281D-C49C-42B7-8DE1-2B03228AEBDB.jpeg5C70281D-C49C-42B7-8DE1-2B03228AEBDB.jpeg
#815 3 years ago
46081561-0E6F-4733-9BA0-419A9AC639B6.jpeg46081561-0E6F-4733-9BA0-419A9AC639B6.jpeg
#816 3 years ago
DD57290A-F19B-498B-A05B-24437CF5E127.jpegDD57290A-F19B-498B-A05B-24437CF5E127.jpeg
#817 3 years ago
8D838CAD-EEF6-4C20-801C-E4CA88D89C18.jpeg8D838CAD-EEF6-4C20-801C-E4CA88D89C18.jpeg
#818 3 years ago
4A9AE0AD-4698-48D6-B7B5-5067CF165973.jpeg4A9AE0AD-4698-48D6-B7B5-5067CF165973.jpeg
#819 3 years ago
E675054A-CD7D-4C44-8A25-E250BDA9D87F.jpegE675054A-CD7D-4C44-8A25-E250BDA9D87F.jpeg
#820 3 years ago

The funniest joke I ever heard was really funny because it was so simple, "Little Jimmy Dickens" used to tell jokes on the grand old opry, he probably stole it from somebody before him but he used to come on stage and say his wife was starting to make him worry, she's saying strange things...

"The other day, I asked her, Honey, would you cheat on me?"

and she said

"Who else would I cheat on?"

#821 3 years ago
A9F0BF3C-75F8-4E42-AF3F-9F75EC069CB0.jpegA9F0BF3C-75F8-4E42-AF3F-9F75EC069CB0.jpeg
#822 3 years ago

Little Dudley do right called his friend and said “oh man I was walking home and saw a beautiful woman tied up on the train tracks. I untied her and took her back to my place. We made love all night. Me on top, her on top, it was great.” The friend says “damn dude you scored big time, what did she look like?” Dudley says “don’t know, never found the head.”

#823 3 years ago

Did you hear there may be living creatures on Uranus?

#824 3 years ago
Quoted from JethroP:

Did you hear there may be living creatures on Uranus?

I think the hot poisonous winds would be fatal.

#825 3 years ago
17390671 (resized).jpg17390671 (resized).jpg
#826 3 years ago

People always ask me what My favorite pinball machine is.

I tell them one that works

1 week later
#829 3 years ago
dowttternload (39) (resized).jpgdowttternload (39) (resized).jpg
#830 3 years ago

"A guy walks up to another guy and asks 'Can you give me 15 cents for a sandwich?' The other guy says 'I dunno, lemme see your sandwich.' " - Jerry Van Dyke, "The Dick Van Dyke Show"

A panhandler asks a lady, “Can you spare $100 for a hotdog?” The lady says “But with that kind of money you could order a 7-course meal anyplace in town!” The guy says “Gee thanks, gimme the C-note and I’ll let you pick the restaurant.”

#831 3 years ago

A driver pulls over and asks a man on the sidewalk, "Where's the post office?" He replies "it's right down the street", but the driver starts making a U-turn. The man says "Hey stupid, I said it's THAT way!" The driver says, "Hell I've known where that post office is for years. I was just making sure you did too."

#832 3 years ago

What's worse than ants in your pants...... uncles

#833 3 years ago

KNOCK KNOCK.
Who’s there ?
GRANDPA.
SHIT .. stop the funeral .

LTG : )

#834 2 years ago

Italian Funeral

A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking in single file.

The Jewish man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral, is it?"

"My wife's."

''What happened to her?"

"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

“My mother-in-law. She came to help my wife and the dog turned on her and killed her also."

It was a very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood.. Silence passed between the two men.

The Jewish man then asked "Can I borrow the dog?"

The Italian man replied, "Get in line.

#835 2 years ago

Open the image.... Read..... and Laugh!

funnyeasterpicture-vi.jpgfunnyeasterpicture-vi.jpg
11
#836 2 years ago

My wife asked me to stop singing "I'm A Believer" by The Monkees because she found it annoying. At first, I thought she was kidding.

But then I saw her face...

#837 2 years ago

1st guy says “ my grandfather just got burnt.”
Second guy “oh no is it bad”
1st guy “ they don’t f#@k around at the crematorium!!

#839 2 years ago

I want to die like my Grandpa, peacefully in his sleep

unlike the 31 passengers screaming in terror on his bus.

1 week later
#840 2 years ago
097182BF-4C51-45F8-89F2-364E037EFAE1.jpeg097182BF-4C51-45F8-89F2-364E037EFAE1.jpeg
#841 2 years ago
A5DF419B-82F4-4FAB-8C8F-5237665D23FA.jpegA5DF419B-82F4-4FAB-8C8F-5237665D23FA.jpeg
#842 2 years ago
65E363BF-B054-458B-8998-768A40C02978.jpeg65E363BF-B054-458B-8998-768A40C02978.jpeg
#843 2 years ago
B77B5DC6-D327-4FAA-AC2B-76F40926626D.jpegB77B5DC6-D327-4FAA-AC2B-76F40926626D.jpeg
#844 2 years ago
4689EC83-C53F-4BF7-B5AB-639E414827D4.jpeg4689EC83-C53F-4BF7-B5AB-639E414827D4.jpeg
#845 2 years ago
E936D575-541D-41DB-9B4F-BCBD0C0563D3.jpegE936D575-541D-41DB-9B4F-BCBD0C0563D3.jpeg
#846 2 years ago
D32C347A-7125-426C-96F0-5F82B38A3CFE.jpegD32C347A-7125-426C-96F0-5F82B38A3CFE.jpeg
#847 2 years ago
02181E9A-8F36-4CB4-8A6A-2745710F0DF8.jpeg02181E9A-8F36-4CB4-8A6A-2745710F0DF8.jpeg
#848 2 years ago

For those who missed the good burn on the EM pinball group on Facebook

IMG_2172 (resized).jpegIMG_2172 (resized).jpegIMG_2173 (resized).jpegIMG_2173 (resized).jpeg
#849 2 years ago

And some more FB Marketplace hijinks.

Screen Shot 2021-04-13 at 4.57.40 PM (resized).pngScreen Shot 2021-04-13 at 4.57.40 PM (resized).png

Screen Shot 2021-04-13 at 4.57.50 PM (resized).pngScreen Shot 2021-04-13 at 4.57.50 PM (resized).png
#850 2 years ago
7E23AD94-97F7-43C8-935C-7399DF54A06A.jpeg7E23AD94-97F7-43C8-935C-7399DF54A06A.jpeg
Promoted items from the Pinside Marketplace
2,500
Machine - For Sale
Corbin, KY
$ 22.50
Magazines/books
Pinball Magazine
Magazines/books
$ 45.00
$ 8.00
Electronics
Third Coast Pinball
Electronics
$ 10.00
Lighting
Yoppsicle
Lighting
$ 44.99
Cabinet - Shooter Rods
Pinball Shark
Shooter rods
$ 12.00
Tools
Nezzy's Pinball Prints
Tools
$ 119.95
Boards
Allteksystems
Boards
$ 149.95
Boards
Allteksystems
Boards
There are 1,455 posts in this topic. You are on page 17 of 30.

Reply

Wanna join the discussion? Please sign in to reply to this topic.

Hey there! Welcome to Pinside!

Donate to Pinside

Great to see you're enjoying Pinside! Did you know Pinside is able to run without any 3rd-party banners or ads, thanks to the support from our visitors? Please consider a donation to Pinside and get anext to your username to show for it! Or better yet, subscribe to Pinside+!


This page was printed from https://pinside.com/pinball/forum/topic/whats-your-best-joke-pinball-related-or-otherwise/page/17?hl=adampdx and we tried optimising it for printing. Some page elements may have been deliberately hidden.

Scan the QR code on the left to jump to the URL this document was printed from.