(Topic ID: 175061)

What's Your Best Joke, Pinball-Related or Otherwise?

By Dooskie

7 years ago


Topic Heartbeat

Topic Stats

You

Linked Games

Topic Gallery

View topic image gallery

IMG_3225 (resized).jpeg
IMG_9799.jpeg
IMG_9802.jpeg
IMG_9800.jpeg
IMG_9797.jpeg
IMG_9798.jpeg
Screenshot_20240324_173354_Messages (resized).jpg
Fred_Flintstone (resized).png
IMG_3221.jpeg
IMG_3220.jpeg
IMG_3218.jpeg
IMG_3215.jpeg
IMG_3219.jpeg
IMG_3216.jpeg
IMG_3217.jpeg
IMG_3213.jpeg

There are 1,454 posts in this topic. You are on page 15 of 30.
#701 3 years ago
all-men-are-pigs-women-are-equal-to-men-13987530 (resized).pngall-men-are-pigs-women-are-equal-to-men-13987530 (resized).png
#702 3 years ago
BSM (resized).jpgBSM (resized).jpg
#703 3 years ago
burbrellas (resized).jpgburbrellas (resized).jpg
#704 3 years ago
#705 3 years ago
GTFO (resized).jpgGTFO (resized).jpg
#706 3 years ago
Master key (resized).jpgMaster key (resized).jpg
#707 3 years ago
13
#708 3 years ago

.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.


A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"
.

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.


My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.


I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.


Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.

.

I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time consuming.


I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.


Why couldn't the bicycle stand up? Because it was two tired!


Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.


My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.


As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.


How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the physco path.

.

Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.
.

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "Did you hear about that outbreak of mad cow disease? It makes cows go completely insane!". The other cow replies "Good thing I'm a helicopter".


What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk? Ketchup.


How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.


When will the little snake arrive? I don't know but he won't be long...


How do you get an astronaut's baby to sleep? You rocket.


I think i would like a job cleaning mirrors, it's just something I could really see myself doing.


Why did it take so long for the pirates to learn the Alphabet? They got stuck at C.


I took the shell off my racing snail thinking it would make him go faster, if anything it made him more sluggish.


Somebody stole my microsoft office and they're going to pay - you have my Word.

#709 3 years ago

The only way Microsoft could come up with a product that didn't suck, is if they started making vacuum cleaners.

#710 3 years ago

What does 80 year old vagina taste like?

...depends

1 week later
12
#711 3 years ago

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the Jungle, she was attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex:
"Tarzan not know sex!" He replied.
Jane explained to him what sex was.
Tarzan said. "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree!"
Horrified, she said. "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly!"
She took off her clothes and lay down on the ground. "Here!" She said. "You must put it in here!"
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer with his huge erection, and then gave her an almighty kick right between her legs.
Jane rolled around in agony, but manages to gasp for air and screamed. "What did you do that for?"
"Tarzan check for bees!"

4 weeks later
11
#712 3 years ago

What do you do with an elephant with three balls ?

Walk him. Pitch to the giraffe.

LTG : )

#713 3 years ago

My dad tells Greek jokes to one of his coworkers relentlessly.
He called me on the phone to tell me the latest one.
Here goes.

Q: Did you know that the Greeks invented orgies?

A: But it was the Romans that introduced women to them.

It’s a bit funnier considering my father is Italian.

12
#714 3 years ago

Marcel was sick and tired of the world; of Covid 19, Brexit, Russian belligerence, global warming, racial tensions, and the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy media headlines.

Marcel drove his car into his garage and then sealed every doorway and window as best he could. He got back into his car and wound down all the windows, selected his favorite radio station and hit the cars ignition.

Four days later, a worried neighbor peered through his garage window and saw him in the car. She notified the emergency services and they broke in, pulling Marcel from the car. A little sip of water and, surprisingly, he was in perfect condition, but his Tesla had a dead battery.

1 month later
#715 3 years ago

It's been 51 days, since the last post. Have we collectively just given up on humor. Somebody tell a joke.

#716 3 years ago
pasted_image (resized).pngpasted_image (resized).png
#717 3 years ago
Quoted from henrydwh:

[quoted image]

Thank you, that's what I'm talking about.

#718 3 years ago

So a drunk gets into his Uber ride, and says to the driver, " hey do you have room for a pizza and a six-pack of beer in the front seat?"The driver says,"sure". So the drunk leans over and pukes in the front seat.

#719 3 years ago

Drill sergeant: PRIVATE! I didn’t see you at camouflage drills today!!

Private: Thank you, sir!

#720 3 years ago

Yesterday, I went to a beekeeper to get 12 new bees for my beehive. He counted them out and gave me 13. I said, “Sir, you gave me an extra.” He replied, "That’s a freebie."

#721 3 years ago

What do you call a Santa with no money?

Saint Nickeless

#722 3 years ago

Okay then it's time to break out the Christmas humor. What do the female reindeer and mrs. Claus do on Christmas Eve when Santa and the other reindeer are doing their business.? They go into town and blow a few bucks.

#723 3 years ago

What is red and white and falls down chimneys ?

Santa Klutz

LTG : )

#724 3 years ago

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.49..... and deer nuts are just under a buck.

#725 3 years ago

I was working at home reviewing a contract, looking for the sanity clause, until my kid said there is no Sanity Claus. (loosely based on a Marx Bros. joke)

#726 3 years ago

I'd say you're 0-2 bud! sorry!

12
#727 3 years ago

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

“In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents a candle”, he said.

“Very well, you may pass through the pearly gates,” Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells.”

Saint Peter said, “You may also pass through the pearly gates.”

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?”

The man replied, “These are Carol’s.

#728 3 years ago

#729 3 years ago

What's the difference between a Snow Man and a Snow Woman? Snow Balls.

#730 3 years ago

A Pinsider is restoring his friend's Heat Wave and asked me to scan my plastics. So many great Pinsiders have helped me out since I joined last year. I was truly glad to pay it forward and help this guy out.

But, I didn't expect it to be so hard. I mean, it took three guys and my wife to hold the machine upside down over the scanner!

#731 3 years ago

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but it has to want to change.
Well that was kind of like a joke, only jokes are funnier.

#732 3 years ago

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb. Only two, but don't ask me how they got in there!

#733 3 years ago

So an American and a Czech were researching bears deep in the forest. After failing to call headquarters for an entire week, a rescue team was sent out to their camp location see what was going on.

Upon arriving at the camp, the rescue team noticed the whole site was destroyed. Tents flattened, coolers strewn about, gear broken and equipment in the river. There was absolutely no sign of the American or the Czech.

Not very long after, a male and female grizzly bear walked into the campsite with what appeared to be blood all over them. The rescue team decided they needed to shoot the bears.

Once the bears were dead they decided to cut open the female bear first. As soon as they cut the female bear open, out rolled the American!

"OH MY GOD!!!", exclaimed the rescuer, "THE CZECH IS IN THE MALE!!!"

#734 3 years ago
Quoted from schudel5:

"OH MY GOD!!!", exclaimed the rescuer, "THE CZECH IS IN THE MALE!!!"

That was a LOT of wind up for a pretty lame punch line. I love it. hahahah

#735 3 years ago

How many Teamsters does it take to change a light bulb ?






Twelve






You got a problem with that ?
LTG : )

#736 3 years ago

What's the difference between a slob on a bicycle and a well dressed individual on a unicycle?

Attire.

#737 3 years ago

Why does a chicken coop have 2 Doors?




Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

#738 3 years ago
20201125_184334 (resized).jpg20201125_184334 (resized).jpg
#739 3 years ago

What do you call a blind deer?
A: No idear.

What do you call a blind deer with no legs?
A: Still no idear.

What do you call a blind deer with no legs and no balls?
A: Still no fing idear.

#740 3 years ago
Quoted from radial_head:

That was a LOT of wind up for a pretty lame punch line. I love it. hahahah

There is the longer version where it is Russian and a Czech, but the bears only eat the Czech. When they ask the Russian, he points to the male, but they find the Czech in the female.

Punch line: Never believe a Russian when he says the Czech is in the male.

#741 3 years ago
Quoted from bladerunner:

What do you call a blind deer?
A: No idear.
What do you call a blind deer with no legs?
A: Still no idear.
What do you call a blind deer with no legs and no balls?
A: Still no fing idear.

BOO.... I beat you to this two years ago in post 192 and 193!

#742 3 years ago
Quoted from yzfguy:

BOO.... I beat you to this two years ago in post 192 and 193!

Sorry, I was not born then!

#743 3 years ago
Quoted from bladerunner:

There is the longer version where it is Russian and a Czech, but the bears only eat the Czech. When they ask the Russian, he points to the male, but they find the Czech in the female.
Punch line: Never believe a Russian when he says the Czech is in the male.

There's another version where the girl is going to marry a Czech. The parents don't approve because "they don't accept Czechs", LOL.

#744 3 years ago

What do you call a hooker with no legs ?





Half off.
LTG : )

#745 3 years ago

We are finally going to need a new tree next year.

The one we have is just fine. But the box is ruined.

#746 3 years ago
pasted_image (resized).pngpasted_image (resized).png
#747 3 years ago
Quoted from henrydwh:

[quoted image]

My wife made the Christmas pies this weekend and decorated the top crust with two candy canes. Am I the only one who sees something different?

pie (resized).jpgpie (resized).jpg
#748 3 years ago

Shamus and Ian decided it was time to go to confession. Ian waited in the pew while Shamus went in first. When the kindly old priest heard Shamus in the confessional he slid open the screen and asked Shamus what he wanted to confess. Shamus hesitated briefly and then said in a soft voice "Father, I have been intimate without wedlock to a girl here in the village". Oh no the Priest said, tell me it wasn't Mary. Shamus replied back "no Father, it wasn't Mary". The Priest breathed a sign and then said "Please tell me it wasn't Carol". Again Shamus replied softly that it wasn't Carol. The Priest again sighed and then said "Please tell it wasn't with Bernadette" and again Shamus softly replied no. This went on for a few more names and each time Shamus said no. Finally Shamus told the Priest he did not want to divulge a name and the Priest concluded the confession and gave Shamus his penance. Shamus left the confessional and returned to the pew where Ian was waiting. Ian said to Shamus "how did it go?" Shamus replied back "Great. I got 6 good leads!"

#749 3 years ago

How is Christmas exactly like your job? You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.

LTG : )

#750 3 years ago

A priest and a rabbi were playing pinball. (See, it’s pinball related humor!)

The priest asks the rabbi,"You're not supposed to eat pork, but tell me, have you ever tried it?"

The rabbi admits that he did try pork once.

When his turn was over, he asked the priest, "You aren’t supposed to have sex, but have you?"

And the priest admits that he has had sex.

"It’s a lot better than pork, isn’t it!"

Promoted items from the Pinside Marketplace
$ 9.00
Cabinet Parts
Third Coast Pinball
Cabinet parts
2,500
Machine - For Sale
Corbin, KY
$ 10.00
$ 11.00
Electronics
Third Coast Pinball
Electronics
$ 45.00
From: $ 2.99
$ 12.00
Tools
Nezzy's Pinball Prints
Tools
$ 45.00
$ 5.95
Playfield - Protection
The Pinball Scientist
Protection
There are 1,454 posts in this topic. You are on page 15 of 30.

Reply

Wanna join the discussion? Please sign in to reply to this topic.

Hey there! Welcome to Pinside!

Donate to Pinside

Great to see you're enjoying Pinside! Did you know Pinside is able to run without any 3rd-party banners or ads, thanks to the support from our visitors? Please consider a donation to Pinside and get anext to your username to show for it! Or better yet, subscribe to Pinside+!


This page was printed from https://pinside.com/pinball/forum/topic/whats-your-best-joke-pinball-related-or-otherwise/page/15?hl=pinball-obsessed and we tried optimising it for printing. Some page elements may have been deliberately hidden.

Scan the QR code on the left to jump to the URL this document was printed from.