Been having a great discussion in another thread about the 1978 Bally Playboy, and it reminded me of this joke, which I posted in that thread, and will post here to see if there's any interest in getting this thread going. What's the best joke that you've heard? Let's keep them within Pinside's rules (no political, race or religious references) and have some fun with this.
I saw this joke in a Playboy magazine back in the late 80's. Thought it was funny enough to remember it, and it's clean enough to be able to tell in mixed company. Hope you enjoy it as much as I have over the years:
This guy walks into a bar around 3 in the afternoon. The place is empty, and he slides up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves him the beer, then heads back over to the corner behind the bar to continue reading his newspaper.
The guy starts sipping on his beer, and he reaches into this bag he brought with him, pulls out a miniature grand piano, and sets it up on the bar. Then he reaches into the bag and pulls out this miniature grand piano bench. The bartender glances up over the top of his reading glasses at this, but is more interested in his newspaper than the goings-on, and goes back to reading.
Pretty soon, a little man jumps out of the bag, hops up on the bar, sits down at the piano and starts playing this beautiful music. Well, this is more than the bartender can stand, so he strolls over to the guy at the bar and says, "What the hell? This miniature piano, this little piano player, what's this all about?"
The guy looks at the bartender and says, "I was at the beach this morning and I found this magic genie bottle. In fact, I still have it," and he reached down in the bag and pulls out a genie bottle. "Do you want to try it?"
The bartender is skeptical, but gives it a rub. Poof! Out pops a genie. The genie says, "I grant you one wish." The bartender is no dummy, and says, "I'll take a million bucks." The genie puts his hands together, bows his head to the bartender and says, "Your wish is my command," and is gone in a puff of smoke.
As soon as the genie disappears, the bar is full of ducks. There are ducks everywhere. On the bar, under the tables, flying around the room....there must have been a million of them.
The bartender looks at the guy and says, "Hey, is your genie an idiot, or deaf or something? I said I wanted a million bucks, not a million ducks!"
The guy takes a long sip from his beer, looks up at the bartender and says, "Pal, do you REALLY think I'd wish for a 12-inch pianist?"