There's no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid people asking them.
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Car sticker suggestion: I can't afford a prestigious sports car, but I really do have a small penis.
Quoted from Rezdog:If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.
That exact thing happened to me, and then I passed it on to my wife!!
Quoted from ReadyPO:Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.
I've never encountered an automatic sword myself...
No matter how kind your children are, German children will always be kinder!
Truer than you first think!!
One I often find myself using when deciding if I should keep something or throw it out:
It's better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it...
Probably why my basement's full of junk!
Quoted from jamesmc:"I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member"
Groucho Marx
I thought that was Woody Allen...
That reminds me:
"What has the universe got to do with it? You're here in Brooklyn, Brooklyn is NOT expanding!"
Annie Hall.
Quoted from marioparty34:Chaos was the law of nature;
Order was the dream of man.
Unless you're from India...
Quoted from gonzo73:" Remember....wherever you go...there you are. "
Reminds me of when my kids ask "are we here?", I always say "yep, we're here."
"Mary had a little lamb
The doctors were astounded
Everywhere she went
Gynaecologists surrounded"
Half Man Half Biscuit.
Quoted from JohnnyPinball007:I have been up since the crack of noon.
I used to date a girl called Dawn, and I would sometimes say, normally when a bit anebriated, "I was up the crack of Dawn this morning".
Behind every great man is a great woman, and behind every great woman is a great behind.
Can't remember who said that, but it rang true to me.
Quoted from Bundy:Assumption is the mother of all fuckups.
I also heard 'assume: it makes an ASS of U and ME'.
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