"Having learned that few things turn out the way you plan, that things are seldom better ( and usually worse) than you expected them to be, I am not often surprised by anything that happens. I am frequently disgusted and usually irritated, but seldom surprised. I have learned that it is usually impossible to understand an event while it is in fact happening; any true understanding comes only after the fact, if it comes at all."
-Arthur Jones

Best quote ever, taken from the book-
Faster Airplanes, Bigger Crocodiles, Younger Women

Seems more than a little borrowed from the famous John Waters quote
" Technique is just failed style"
Pretty sure he's stared at a few buttholes too, I mean that scene from pink flamingos can't be unseen

" A job half done is a job not done at all"