“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.”

“If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.”
– Chuck Palahniuk

“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
– Erma Bombeck

“I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money.”- David Lee Roth

“I love the smell of napalm in the morning” - Lt.Col.Bill Kilgore

“True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”
– Kurt Vonnegut

AKA Weeble Tippin’

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?”
– John Barrymore

“Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”
– Mark Twain

“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”
– Johnny Carson

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.

“If only that were true.”
-Rezdog

“With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon.”
- Albert Einstein

“Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”

“It is what it is”

“Are you ready for some football?” - Hank Williams Jr.?

Keep Calm and ________?

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

Harlan Ellison

“Looking for a person with money for a prototype fully working & pimped out pinball game. It will be a one of a kind licensed game that either moves into production, or dies to be come the one & only game” - GWJ