(Topic ID: 186120)

Well, I'm going to be a Dad!

By Cloud7

6 years ago


Topic Heartbeat

Topic Stats

  • 172 posts
  • 78 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 5 years ago by cjmjmm2006
  • Topic is favorited by 1 Pinsider

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    #28 6 years ago

    I have a 10 month old and it's super fucking hard work and I don't have a ton of time to do anything "Fun" or anything "I want to" or "Fix my machines" or "Do that playfield swap" or "Just relax" or well whatever, you get the point.

    Yeah...Kids! You have them and then like....you have them and they're there. So enjoy man, they're cute as shit...IF you have a girl. Well luckily evolution has made your offspring appealing to you; a fine move. My baby is the only one I can stomach, but I wasn't sure I'd take to her so that's well.

    #31 6 years ago

    Oh yeah and the sex thing is actually real....so get it in now.
    And all the fun stuff with your buddies out on the town...get that over with.

    Hmmm what else?

    Is my baby dying?
    Remember this saying; "My baby is not dying....My baby is not dying." That'll come in handy the first 3 months which is LITERALLY the scariest time of your life. Babies like to sneeze, like 30 times a day, it does NOT mean they are sick or dying. in fact look at this ->"Newborns sneeze a lot, but not because they're cold or sick."<- That's the first thing that comes up on the google search you'll look up before getting dressed to go to the hospital because...well read above. That's just one of a thousand things you'll be scared of

    Diapers
    Never bothered me, nothing wrong there.

    Keep that baby moving
    You're close to Scorpio season in October but that baby likes to get around. Some of the funnest times are in the stroller. Most normal ones can hold 2-4 beers so your good there even without a cooler. Enjoy the first 6 months in the stroller making faces at them...no one told me after that you turn them around and don't get to look at them...man that's a bummer.

    #33 6 years ago

    The Birth
    I almost couldn't keep a straight face when I remembered this little diddy I mean how could I forget? Oh yes PTSD.
    I'm just going to type this but if there are some squeamish folk they might want to get out now.
    Are you sure? OK.
    If she ends up getting a C-Section this is what happens.
    Sure...?
    They whisk you into the room 20 minutes after you last saw your wife whom you thought might be dying...LETS DO THIS!
    They put a shield in front of your wife's chest so she can't see anything. They cut a 4-9" line in your wifes gut, this is actually happening, you look at her because you just saw her get murdered but she's still alive and looking at you for support.
    **Side Note - Human flesh cuts as easy as any animals but bleeds a bit more. **
    Remember how people only have ->A<- C-Section Scar? Yeah so um we're going to need to...(they are not telling you this you just figure it out as it goes) ....cut 1 straight line of flesh and then I'm going to rip open your stomach like a hockey bag.
    This is the funniest part to people until I tell them I can literally hear the skin, muscle, & fat rip away from her body.
    OK what's next? Remove some entrails and vital organs and plop them done next to her gaping cavity. We're in a hospital right cause this is like not making sense?
    My Wife's liver hit the gurney with around 1 lbs of blood...look I don't know really guys, her liver,? her Kidney,? Lungs?, Heart? fuck i saw at least 9' of entrails.....but I digress.

    #35 6 years ago

    You're getting scared because you don't hear any baby audio the entire time....even after a grown person puts 2 hands completely inside your wife's chest cavity and ripped a human being out of it; But here it is, it's your baby. Your wife whom's actually done all the work this last year is looking at you for answers...you saw a child, this shit is real and it's happening!!!! Then you look down again at her and there are--->Guys Guy look this up on youtube I am not making this up there are blood and organs everywhere <-- and your wife KEEPS LOOKING AT YOU FOR SUPPORT. Nawww......I don't see your Liver at all honey.
    *You fucking liar....you DID SEE IT*

    Luckily the rest is what they say. The crying and all that shit then they slap that thing in your arms....it's WAY MORE powerful than you can ever imagine. You, as we all hope have a healthy little baby; the cute shit I'm getting teary eyed remembering it! My precious little baby Keaton in her mother's arm Oh wait they are still cleaning up her organs....there is nothing but entrails and blood all over my beautiful new baby. It LITERALLY looked like animal meat that you can eat

    #51 6 years ago
    Quoted from PersonX99:

    After thelaw 's posts, I am SOLD! I totally want a litter of my own. :p

    Ha the first parts where rough for me for sure. I can tell you she's just started crawling around everywhere so it's getting fun now. Becoming a person instead of a blob that sits there and cries.
    EDIT: Her not me

    #54 6 years ago
    Quoted from Cloud7:

    TheLaw, I enjoyed your graphic retelling of your experience! I may not have my wife read it though lol!

    She doesn't need to know

    1 month later
    #116 6 years ago

    Spoilers man you found out? We waited till she popped out...I wanted a daughter though.

    3 months later
    #134 6 years ago
    Quoted from Cloud7:

    It has made me appreciate my wife more than I thought did!!

    Wait till the first Mother's Day...it becomes a real holiday you understand

    #136 6 years ago
    Quoted from vicjw66:

    Congratulations!
    My son was born 3 weeks early on July 20. He had his 2 month appointment for shots yesterday.

    ha my daughter just had her 15 month + shots yesterday too. They swear this time just a few shots left

    #138 6 years ago

    Don't worry once she gets on the teet she'll fatten up nicely

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