Now that deep root’s innovations have been identified and listed, I spent some time considering them. Many are fine and a few are good ideas too. Taken together, most pinball players would agree the Pinbar (tm) adds much capability and value. Is that enough to make me want to buy one? Well if the low end model is priced @ $5.5k like a Stern pro and it has the above value included, I’d be interested in trying one of the pins. If it is priced like a Stern prem @ $7.5k, which it is probably worth, I am not interested, as I want a Ferrari for Kia pricing. So if Robert Mueller gives us a premium at the price of a pro, I’d have to act. Maybe more features added, might increase what I’m willing to pay. What kinds of features you ask?
Pinscale (tm) - optional pad inside cabinet can be placed on the floor and when Player steps on it announces his weight. Can be adjusted to lock refridgerator when needed.
Pinpressure (tm) - optional arm cuff can be worn and Player’s blood pressure is announced. Can be adjusted to dial 411 at certain trigger levels.
Pinheart (tm) - optional chest band can be worn to periodically announce Player’s heart rate. Can be adjusted to cockblock all earned multiballs until Player has returned to their safe heart range.
Pindiabetes (tm) - Player can slam their hand down on corner of Pinbar (tm) to create a prick. Simply drain some blood on the Pinbar (tm) and it can be analyzed for blood sugar level. Immediately alerts Player if they need to eat a hotdog or ice cream sundae.
Pindating (tm) - optional profile can be created and a single status will actively shop that Player to 3.2 biillion women on earth.
Pinpuncher (tm) - optional boxing glove subassembly can be attached to the coin door and it will punch Player in the nuts based on certain score level triggers or for restarting a bad game.
Pinvacuum (tm) - optional air hose can be pulled from coin door and pump turned on to create a hand wand with major sucking action. Do you have something that needs to be cleaned? Well use the hose.
Pindongledisplaycase (tm) - with all this happening we are going to need a lot of dongles. Optional leather display case with see through glass window allows Player to see their dongles working while seeing them arranged in industrial fashion.
Pintread (tm) - optional roller assembly stores under pinball machine until needed. Place in front of pin, climb on and begin walking your way to a high score, one step at a time. Every mile earns one million points. Can be set to pay off in 1/10 mile increments.
Pinwrassler (tm) - optional subassembly stores inside pin and attaches to front of pin atop the glass. Purple Knight topper is added to top of pinball machine. Ever wanted to challenge a mechanical arm wrestling machine to a true test of manhood. Well now you can and the purple knight will look down and hurl insults while you sweat.
PinAli (tm) - optional arm attaches to top of backbox and places a punching bag to one side. Surprise your guests by hitting hard and scoring big with the ladies.
Pinsick - optional handsfree measure of Player’s temperature that will turn off pinball machine and schedule a covid test if you have a fever.
PinPinside (tm)(tm) - dictate a review and have it automatically uploaded to a Pinside club thread.
Pin2pay (tm) - use Pinbar (tm) to surf the web, pay bills electronically, check bank account balances, buy and sell stock, swap recipes, order dinner, research genealogy or just send the pinball technician a love note.
Pinbunny (tm) - allows Player to charge their iPhone, iPod and PC battery over WiFi.
Pinbookie (tm) - allows Player to place bets on the winner of pinball tournaments and local horse races or it will allow $1 wagers on multiplayer games.
Pinfortune (tm) - hands free dialing to Player’s choice among all the hottest tv psychics. Learn your fate as Thanos delivers his.
PinPocketPinball (tm) - optional wheels and axles stored inside pinball machine form a pair of pinskates. Small motor and gears inside pinball machine allow Player to drive his pin wherever he goes. Roadworthy and sidewalk approved, you can hitch the PinPocketPinball (th) to the back of your suv and take your pin anywhere you go. Link multiple PinPocketPinballs together and take your whole pinball collection with you.