(Topic ID: 200679)

Trying to cope with our child in the military


By jhanley

1 year ago



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  • 31 posts
  • 21 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 1 year ago by jhanley
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    #1 1 year ago

    Me and my wife are in Missouri going to my sons graduation from basic training today.Mywife is really having a hard time with this and I have to admit me too.He enlisted two weeks after he graduated high school.He was kind of our problem child but we didnt really want him to do this as he had every opportunity to go a different path.We are really proud of him for making it through but scared to death at the same time.Any other parents in the same boat?Id like to hear from you.

    #2 1 year ago

    Certainly praying for you and your son. Brave man and I'm sure you're proud of him.

    Thank him for his service. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

    Darin

    #3 1 year ago

    Pretty gutsy thing to do at 18.His mom is losing her mind over it though.

    #4 1 year ago

    I am not a parent of either a "problem child" or a parent of a child in the military but him joining the military might have been exactly what he needed to do to save his life. Instead of "worrying" about him if I was in your shoes I would be proud of him for stepping up and serving our country.

    One thing I think most people forget is we here about almost every service member that doesn't make it home and while is do feel for their families I think being in the military is actually safer than walking down a city street at night in most cases. Statistically someone is probably safer serving in the military then they are just living in a "bad" neighborhood in a bigger town or city. And it might even be safer than driving to work this morning. Nothing in life comes without risk but I would be more concerned for your son's safety if you posted he just signed up for the police force.

    Best of luck to you and your family. You boy made his choice and all you can do as a parent is support him. If something bad should happen you need to remember it was his choice and never blame yourself. But my feeling is him serving might change his life for the positive. Just remember if he had not joined he could have gotten involved with something far worst. Think positive and all should be OK.

    #5 1 year ago

    I was a trouble kid as well. The military forced me to mature in a controlled environment. I need to find discipline in my life, I was not going to get that staying in my home town.
    The military is what made me the man I am today. Forever grateful.
    I understand a parents worry, but he's in good hands. I'm so happy there are still great young men like your son willing to serve this nation.

    #6 1 year ago

    Is he being deployed overseas? Then I can certainly understand being a little worried - otherwise i basically agree with Skip - there are many many positives that can come from the structure and consistency that being in the service can bring. I'm struggling not to write anything political here, but let me saY this: I work daily with service people who have similar stories to your son(being a "problem child, etc) and they are the finest people I know, and they deserve our respect.

    #7 1 year ago
    Quoted from too-many-pins:

    I am not a parent of either a "problem child" or a parent of a child in the military but him joining the military might have been exactly what he needed to do to save his life. Instead of "worrying" about him if I was in your shoes I would be proud of him for stepping up and serving our country.
    One thing I think most people forget is we here about almost every service member that doesn't make it home and while is do feel for their families I think being in the military is actually safer than walking down a city street at night in most cases. Statistically someone is probably safer serving in the military then they are just living in a "bad" neighborhood in a bigger town or city. And it might even be safer than driving to work this morning. Nothing in life comes without risk but I would be more concerned for your son's safety if you posted he just signed up for the police force.
    Best of luck to you and your family. You boy made his choice and all you can do as a parent is support him. If something bad should happen you need to remember it was his choice and never blame yourself. But my feeling is him serving might change his life for the positive. Just remember if he had not joined he could have gotten involved with something far worst. Think positive and all should be OK.

    Absolutely it has helped him.Hes already apologized for what he put us through in the past.Im so proud of him I could cry.They say more people in the military get killed on motorcycles than in combat these days but that doesnt make my wife feel better about it.

    #8 1 year ago
    Quoted from DarkTruth:

    I was a trouble kid as well. The military forced me to mature in a controlled environment. I need to find discipline in my life, I was not going to get that staying in my home town.
    The military is what made me the man I am today. Forever grateful.
    I understand a parents worry, but he's in good hands. I'm so happy there are still great young men like your son willing to serve this nation.

    Well said! Rarely do you meet someone that was in the military that doesn't come out "better" than they were when they jointed. That discipline is exactly and structure is exactly what some young people need.

    #9 1 year ago
    Quoted from Rdoyle1978:

    Is he being deployed overseas? Then I can certainly understand being a little worried - otherwise i basically agree with Skip - there are many many positives that can come from the structure and consistency that being in the service can bring. I'm struggling not to write anything political here, but let me saY this: I work daily with service people who have similar stories to your son(being a "problem child, etc) and they are the finest people I know, and they deserve our respect.

    We dont know where hes going yet.Hes a army engineer.

    #10 1 year ago
    Quoted from jhanley:

    Absolutely it has helped him.Hes already apologized for what he put us through in the past.Im so proud of him I could cry.They say more people in the military get killed on motorcycles than in combat these days but that doesnt make my wife feel better about it.

    My wife was the same way when our two boys went off to college. My best advice to you is to try to keep her busy and get her mind off of things. Sitting around thinking & talking about what "could" or "might" happen doesn't help. Living your life and staying busy is HUGE. As with everything it life - things will setting down as time passes.

    Glad to hear you are seeing that change already. That just tells you even more that this was the "best path" for him at this stage in life.

    #11 1 year ago

    In three hours we get to see him for family day.We have talked to him a total of twenty minutes in the three months hes been gone.Cant wait.

    #12 1 year ago

    I was in the Air Force - many many people have been through it. The difficult part is when they come back to civian life.

    #13 1 year ago

    Congrats on your boy making it this far. First big step on a long road ahead. I've got more than 15 years of service under my belt so far. I've been enlisted and am now an officer. There was bad along the way, three years of combat, but there was good. So much more good than bad. I'm healthier than all my civilian peers, my education was paid for, I commissioned, and had the honor to lead America's finest.

    I wouldn't trade my time for anything. He's a Soldier and is a part of a second family now that is half a million strong just on the active side. His leaders understand and cherish his commitment and your trust. Be proud Dad! You've got one of the best things in this whole green world for a son, a US Soldier!

    10
    #14 1 year ago

    I’ve been in for 19 years. He’ll be fine.

    As an 18 year old recruit, he’ll have more supervision than he’ll know what to do with. Tell him to listen, work hard and read.

    It’s a privilege to serve.

    #15 1 year ago

    I was in the Navy for 5.5 years. I had a great time. Your son will do just fine.

    #17 1 year ago

    Thank you for your son's service. I suspect you will end up as very proud parents once you see his transformation as a disciplined mature adult.

    #18 1 year ago

    I would worry too, Tell him thank you for his service for me, I have nothing but respect for anyone who serves.

    #19 1 year ago

    You should be very proud of him.

    #20 1 year ago

    And if your wife is still concerned - show her this thread!

    #21 1 year ago

    One thing I can say 100% for sure is he is safer under the guidance of the US military then he would be hangout with friends at home and looking for trouble. As the old saying goes - "the military makes boys into men" - as has been said several times above by those who have served.

    As a parent it is hard to let your children become adults but I can't think of a better place than our military!

    And to your son (or anyone else that happens to read this that has served) a big THANK YOU for keeping us safe! In this world that is no easy task but our military is an amazing group of great people and for that all of us should be very thankful!

    #22 1 year ago

    He is becoming an adult and beginning to make his own choices.
    Support him in whatever he may choose to do.
    He was gifted the magic of one life ... HIS life:
    He is incapable of living anyone elses life, no one else may choose for him.
    You have supplied him the wisdom and courage to make it this far,
    and for that you will always be his hero.
    Every parent is afraid. But he wouldn't want you to be.

    #23 1 year ago

    I went to college straight out of H.S and like many others did a lot of dumb and risky things. School was secondary to just having a good time. I enlisted into the Air National Guard and came back home refocused and went on the earn academic honors each semester until I graduated.

    Not only did it help put me back on the right track but I now am a full timer in the Guard and love it!

    In the end this may have been the preferred path for him if he acted out a bit during his high school years. Potentially him going to college with ZERO supervision would have proved to be more problems. Atleast this way he will be held to accountability and learn leadership skills that he can use outside of the service.

    For now attempt to put your fears and worry away and just enjoy the graduation. Give him a big hug and let him know how proud you are of him. What happened in the past is just that....the past. He's done something that only a small fraction of the population ever do in serving. He's off to a good start in his adult life. Here's to hoping he continues to keep impressing you.

    #24 1 year ago

    Thankyou for all the responses.We really had a great time with him today.So grown up.Hes a little scared of his first assignment after basic but he will have his own place now.He also will be able to talk with us any time he wants and have time for doing fun things with his new friends.He gets to stay with us on christmas so that will be great.

    #25 1 year ago

    The military will open his eyes to what the world is really about.

    Learning to make weighted decisions while under stress is a skill he will use for the rest of his life.

    He'll make you proud.

    #26 1 year ago

    His adventure is just beginning! His life is going to continue to improve for the better. So grown up...you've really just seen the beginning of his growth. You and he will be amazed at the maturity, discipline and sense of purpose he'll continue to develop throughout his time in service. Good for you and your family!

    #27 1 year ago

    I come from a militarily family. Thank your new, mature son, for his service!

    #28 1 year ago

    Horah!

    Sometimes letting go can be the hardest thing. The military made me the man I am today. He will be just fine... the best of him will come out during his development for boy to man. Trust in that and how you raised him.

    #29 1 year ago

    The best I’ve ever met or worked with are people with military background. Lots of integrity.

    #30 1 year ago

    Sounds like your child just turned into a man.

    #31 1 year ago

    He's really liking his new post.He has a small apartment with one other soldier.He has even more physical training now than basic.Seems happy.

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