I teach university English courses, including composition, and I have years of experience in multimedia and printing. Todd, I can offer my services at Tuckey Bargain Basement prices in the name of pinball should you need them. My only requirement is that the work take place in the summer months.
I just found this thread, and I had to delay dinner and grab a big bag of chips. This wins, hands down, as the most entertaining Pinside thread I've ever read. Andrew may be a horrible publisher, but he is a wonderful online entertainer!