I use cooledit for this. Import the song, edit, convert, set to mono, 24000, 16 bit, apply. Then for volume, I export a track from the rom. Drag that into cool edit. Then do an analyze in it and it shows the average volume in db. Analyze the new track and you can see its average volume. You can use the amplify filter and add or subtract the needed db.
I find most modern music is already heavily compressed so I haven't needed that step.
You guys probably hate this. But I totally redid the entire sound track for acdc. I am not an acdc fan so turning it into a game called "the pinball formally known as acdc".