(Topic ID: 131201)

There are good women in pinball

By Curtis_Playfield

8 years ago


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  • 673 posts
  • 147 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 8 years ago by robin
  • Topic is favorited by 11 Pinsiders

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13
#201 8 years ago

I treat women the same as I treat men and not much offends me. What does offend me is when people don't keep their word.

I got a message from Curtis Playfield about buying a machine I had for sale and offered it to her at a very cheap price and she agreed to buy it. I held it for over two weeks but she never showed up so I sold it to someone else. I always thought she was cool, but I won't do business with her. I tried.

#202 8 years ago

Hey Odin, if you would have just left that TRON avatar up as I directed many months ago you wouldn't be this faceless Pinsider, just saying.........

#203 8 years ago
Quoted from Expletive:

How many times is Molly going to resign from posting at Pinside?

She's got a long way to go if she hopes to catch up to Stu!

#204 8 years ago

Stu even has his own smilie here we love him so much:

#205 8 years ago

This is a thread that it's ok to post women pictures....for sure.

#206 8 years ago
Quoted from limelime20:

This is a thread that it's ok to post women pictures....for sure.

You might get ejected, but be my guest!

#207 8 years ago
Quoted from Aurich:

And no, the solution isn't more pics of men. That's really missing the point. This isn't about being a prude, or not admiring the female form. None of it bothers me in the slightest either, personally. But I'll admit that I find it somewhat embarrassing to be browsing the site and scroll past some gif of bouncing boobs when people walk past my machine.

#208 8 years ago
Quoted from centerflank:

Anyone that wants in on my Facebook pinball group, friend request me at Teichmiller Contracting, zero moderation..Say what the F you want to...but if I think you are a douche you won't be accepted. Please include your pinside handle for fast acceptance.

My original Pinside handle was Douchy Mcbag. Now let me in F***Face!

#209 8 years ago

I think it's time for everybody to stop being so f@!*ing soft. For Christ sake men and women there are actual issues hapining in the world. I prescribe a teaspoon of cement so you can all harden the f@!k up!

#210 8 years ago

Come on guys, it's the same handful of you here again trying to dominate the discussion. We get your point, really. You don't have to post 20 times, joke back and forth, and post illustrative pictures for people to get your point. Seriously everyone hears you loud and clear.

#211 8 years ago

Here's a shout out for Helena Walter, who appears to be the top-ranked woman in pinball right now (unless I missed one). Ranked at #104, she could mop up the floor with most of the guys posting in this thread (including me).

http://www.ifpapinball.com/player.php?p=103

#212 8 years ago

Oh, and how did I miss Margaret Hudson? She's one of the best pinball artists ever!

http://www.ipdb.org/search.pl?ppl=Margaret+Hudson&sortby=name&searchtype=advanced

I love the work she did on CSI.

#213 8 years ago
Quoted from mickthepin:

I think it's time for everybody to stop being so f@!*ing soft. For Christ sake men and women there are actual issues hapining in the world. I prescribe a teaspoon of cement so you can all harden the f@!k up!

It's always easy for privileged people to tell people who aren't to suck it up and be tough. I commend you on saying exactly what you're supposed to say when you've never given it even a moments thought.

-1
#214 8 years ago
Quoted from tamoore:

It's always easy for privileged people to tell people who aren't to suck it up and be tough

Oh yeah, all those self-reliant people that built this country... so privileged through and through!

"toughen up" coming from privilege? That one had me rolling.

#215 8 years ago
Quoted from flynnibus:

Oh yeah, all those self-reliant people that built this country... so privileged through and through!
"toughen up" coming from privilege? That one had me rolling.

Makes sense that you're lacking in understanding. If there is a course, you'll no doubt play par on it.

#216 8 years ago

Yep sorry dude I don't know how you get privileged from my comment. I think we all need to toughen up right across the board. This pettie stuff is nothing. We all need to harden up or the world will eat you alive. Don't mean to get all Rambo but come on guys.

#217 8 years ago
Quoted from mickthepin:

Yep sorry dude I don't know how you get privileged from my comment. I think we all need to toughen up right across the board. This pettie stuff is nothing. We all need to harden up or the world will eat you alive. Don't mean to get all Rambo but come on guys.

Everyone but you needs to toughen up. Got it.

12
#218 8 years ago

I'm not sure what we're arguing about anymore, but I'm certain I should feel great outrage at something!

#219 8 years ago

On the feminist side of things I will give you a qoute from a great Australian feminist. Germaine Greer (if you haven't heard of her Google it, she has done a lot) there are only 2 things that men do better than woman and that is cooking and making a great dress.

#220 8 years ago

Ohh "got it" ur hard bro

#221 8 years ago

Why the hell am I being mentioned in this thread? WTF? Leave me out of your petty bickering, Damn, bunch of little ol' ladies with nothing better to do then site around in your underwear all day long being keyboard commando's......

Quoted from dothedoo:

She's got a long way to go if she hopes to catch up to Stu!

Quoted from Aurich:

Stu even has his own smilie here we love him so much:

#222 8 years ago
Quoted from DarkWizard:

Really, just tired of political correctness saturating all aspects of life. Now it's reared its ugly head on this message board. Feel free to respond so you can have the last word. I will leave the thread now. (I promise)

This is part of the problem with not seeing the effects of the insults, catcalls, pics, objectivism. People become tired of 'political correctness'. Well, that's fine and dandy, but how about courtesy? Generosity? Empathy? Political correctness is a misnomer that never should have been applied to language usage in the way it has as it desensitizes people to the ideas of courtesy and empathy - not doing something just because you can - consider others once in a while. Someone at a conference I was at a few months ago brought up political correctness in a similar conversation to the one going on here. How about inclusion? Considering other peoples' feelings and experiences is more than 'feel-good mushiness,' it's a show of humanity - including people means considering them as well as yourself.

Robin, thanks for putting an end to the pics, I'm here for pinball and unless it is pinball art it can be found elsewhere.

#223 8 years ago
Quoted from Stu:

bunch of little ol' ladies

Great, now we are going to see another separate post about how we treat, not just women, but the elderly as well....

Anyone want to start the bidding on how long it takes Molly to start yet another Pinside ID, and then disappear out the door with an announcement that she is out of here? Third time's a charm right?

#224 8 years ago
Quoted from Stu:

Why the hell am I being mentioned in this thread? WTF? Leave me out of your petty bickering, Damn, bunch of little ol' ladies with nothing better to do then site around in your underwear all day long being keyboard commando's......

Stu, like it or not, you're a Pinside celebrity. When someone mentions Stu, everyone knows who they're talking about. Someone mentions Geocab....silence.

#225 8 years ago

Shout to all the women I've played against in tourneys who've helped kill the time waiting in line or who I've drank beer out in the parking lot with. Oddly, I can't remember one time when somebody was looking at pictures of women on the their phone, or in magazines, or on their tablet or did anything to make them the women there feel uncomforatble. No one was offended and everybody had fun. No one even complained that they were losing thier fundamental rights by not being able to look at pictures of women in various states of undress or to express themselves freely. Crazy how the internet changes peoples actions!

#226 8 years ago

Really great graphic that pinpoints a lot of the issue brought up here: http://www.tickld.com/x/next-time-someone-says-women-arent-victims-of-harassment-show-them?utm_source=tickld&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=robothug&ts_pid=2&ts_pid=2

I'd love to post the pic but it's really big and the thread would flip out.

Those who should take a look at it probably won't, and those who don't really need to probably will, but putting it out there for your review.

#227 8 years ago

I think the people with the thinnest skins are the ones complaining about the rules and telling others to toughen up.

#228 8 years ago
Quoted from Jam_Burglar:

Shout to all the women I've played against in tourneys who've helped kill the time waiting in line or who I've drank beer out in the parking lot with. Oddly, I can't remember one time when somebody was looking at pictures of women on the their phone, or in magazines, or on their tablet or did anything to make them the women there feel uncomforatble. No one was offended and everybody had fun. No one even complained that they were losing thier fundamental rights by not being able to look at pictures of women in various states of undress or to express themselves freely. Crazy how the internet changes peoples actions!

I don't leave home without my x-ray specs.

x-ray-specs.gifx-ray-specs.gif

22
#229 8 years ago

I don't know if anyone cares or if this is truly related to anything in this topic, but I thought I'd share a personal story related to the "smile" part of the link Rando gave.

I work at a large company where there is a cafe on site. It's a 10 minute walk just to the parking garage and I only have a 30 minute lunch, so either I get food in the cafe or I bring something from home and go eat in the cafe seating area since the microwaves are there. A few months ago, a new male employee in the cafe was working the register, and while ringing up my food told me "Smile." Ok, fine, he's being polite I guess. I smile. A couple of days later, he's working the food line and while I'm standing there waiting I hear "Hey, do you remember what I told you last time... I said smile." He's still got a smile on his face so I assume he's being friendly enough, even though it's a bit creepy as he's singled me out in a group of like 10 women.

The next week I walk through the cafe to get a drink, and he yells at me from across the cafe (about 40 feet away, with at least 20 something people around) "Hey... you'd better smile." I've been singled out again, and this time it creeps me out to the point that I don't want to be anywhere near him, so I pay and bring my lunch for awhile, avoiding the cafe completely. Then one day I'm just walking through the cafe to go sit down, and he does it again. I pretend that I don't see or hear him. It doesn't work. No smile on his face, cold eyes, cold tone in his voice.... "Hey, hey! I know you can hear me. You'd better not be ignoring me. I told you to smile, and you'd better listen." So, lunches are ruined, but what am I supposed to do about it really, because how stupid does it sound for me to report someone for telling me to smile?

The next week I'm leaving the cafe area and he sees me. I again completely ignore him, avoid all eye contact, try to make myself invisible. Yet he still yells at me across the way, this time with anger in his voice. "Hey, you'd better stop ignoring me. I'm talking to you, and you are being rude ignoring me." My husband works at the same company and was with me but a ways behind me, and walked up about that time. I looked at him with a 'don't say anything, I just want to get out of here' look, which the guy saw, and proceeded to then yell at my husband "Hey, your woman is disrepecting me. You'd better say something to her before I have to teach her a lesson in manners." I get husband and myself the heck out of there fast.

That's the day I reported him. And I was laughed at by the cafe management. Two male managers sat me down and asked exactly what the issue was, as they had instructed their employees to be friendly to people and have conversations. I tried to explain that singling me out and screaming at me from 20-40 feet away and threatening me and my husband was in no way a polite conversation. That I felt threatened, that I didn't want to eat in their cafe at all, and that I'd appreciate if they did something about it. They informed me that they'd talk to him and tell him to stop raising his voice across the cafe, and to leave me alone in particular. I told them I didn't want singling out, not to mention my name or description at all, because he'd already escalated the situation multiple times with me simply walking in that area, and I didn't need to be more of a target. They all but rolled their eyes at me.

He has stopped talking to me, but will death glare me down if I'm anywhere near him. I have to actively avoid one of the main buildings and the only source of food because of this. All because some guy decided to tell me to 'smile' and then get super weird and threatening, and I wasn't taken seriously. And since there are 6000 people here and 80%+ are women, I'd be willing to bet that I'm not the only one that's been singled out, but I know I was the only one that reported him because they were truly shocked (and thought it funny) that I was offened enough by being told to smile to report him.

#230 8 years ago
Quoted from jwilson:

I think the people with the thinnest skins are the ones complaining about the rules and telling others to toughen up.

I'd say it's the people who constantly downvote posts and mark every image as unsafe?

nedflanders.gifnedflanders.gif

#231 8 years ago
Quoted from blondetall:

I don't know if anyone cares or if this is truly related to anything in this topic, but I thought I'd share a personal story related to the "smile" part of the link Rando gave.

That sure does sound like harassment to me. It sucks that you had to deal with it.

I'm not aware that particular sort of harassament exists on Pinside? (Although I don't read nearly as many threads as a moderator does.)

I smile at old people, little children and dogs. They usually smile back, but if they don't I just continue on. Except for the dogs. I stop to pet them.

When you do hear about unwanted harassment, you do hear a lot about guys telling girls to smile. Seems odd that you'd tell anyone what to do, but maybe it's a generational or culture thing?

http://www.stoptellingwomentosmile.com/

-9
#232 8 years ago
Quoted from blondetall:

I don't know if anyone cares or if this is truly related to anything in this topic, but I thought I'd share a personal story related to the "smile" part of the link Rando gave.
I work at a large company where there is a cafe on site. It's a 10 minute walk just to the parking garage and I only have a 30 minute lunch, so either I get food in the cafe or I bring something from home and go eat in the cafe seating area since the microwaves are there. A few months ago, a new male employee in the cafe was working the register, and while ringing up my food told me "Smile." Ok, fine, he's being polite I guess. I smile. A couple of days later, he's working the food line and while I'm standing there waiting I hear "Hey, do you remember what I told you last time... I said smile." He's still got a smile on his face so I assume he's being friendly enough, even though it's a bit creepy as he's singled me out in a group of like 10 women.
The next week I walk through the cafe to get a drink, and he yells at me from across the cafe (about 40 feet away, with at least 20 something people around) "Hey... you'd better smile." I've been singled out again, and this time it creeps me out to the point that I don't want to be anywhere near him, so I pay and bring my lunch for awhile, avoiding the cafe completely. Then one day I'm just walking through the cafe to go sit down, and he does it again. I pretend that I don't see or hear him. It doesn't work

At that point you should have said something that he is making you uncomfortable. Your path of not addressing the issue contributes to it escalating. This is the same thing at different degrees that ends up with all kinds of sexual harassment issues. Side A thinks 'x' is going on, Side B is completely of a different opinion.. but because its never addressed how is Side A supposed to know their actions are being taken the wrong way?

Now obviously what you go on to mention here about his tone changing is bad and wrong... but your attempts at 'hiding' vs facing the issue contribute to the escalation. It would have also established a point of clarity so if things did continue on that same path, when you went to management it would have been a much cleaner cut case of someone continuing down a path against the other party's will.

People find it much more rude to be ignored, vs having adults face a topic. So while I don't agree with the guy's tactic - I can agree with the comment about ignoring people being rude.

What you are eluding to is some sort of sexual harassment, when I read the story it sounds like more of an anger, tone issue stroked by how you responded to his actions.

How many issues stem from people simply not saying what they mean???

#233 8 years ago
Quoted from blondetall:

Long smile story so don't want to quote it.

Do you have a smart phone? Record this dumbass next time. If that were my wife, and I were working there and saw it, I'd be fired for confronting him, no way I walk away. Not saying your husband should risk his job, just that while I'm mostly even keeled, that would be one of my buttons that would make me lose all sense.

It's BS that you weren't taken seriously. It sounds like he could be on Criminal Minds.

#234 8 years ago

blondetall, time to report the issue to HR. Laws against hostile work place. Let HR do their job.

#235 8 years ago

Blondetall, I tell you this much, a prick like that would last 5 seconds here. Men are men women are woman and pricks are pricks. We judge acordingly.

#236 8 years ago
Quoted from flynnibus:

At that point you should have said something that he is making you uncomfortable. Your path of not addressing the issue contributes to it escalating. This is the same thing at different degrees that ends up with all kinds of sexual harassment issues. Side A thinks 'x' is going on, Side B is completely of a different opinion.. but because its never addressed how is Side A supposed to know their actions are being taken the wrong way?
Now obviously what you go on to mention here about his tone changing is bad and wrong... but your attempts at 'hiding' vs facing the issue contribute to the escalation. It would have also established a point of clarity so if things did continue on that same path, when you went to management it would have been a much cleaner cut case of someone continuing down a path against the other party's will.
People find it much more rude to be ignored, vs having adults face a topic. So while I don't agree with the guy's tactic - I can agree with the comment about ignoring people being rude.
What you are eluding to is some sort of sexual harassment, when I read the story it sounds like more of an anger, tone issue stroked by how you responded to his actions.
How many issues stem from people simply not saying what they mean???

Under what circumstances, would you expect to tell any grown adult that you didn't know on a friendly or familial basis "to smile" more than once? (Or even once...)

To me that sounds like harassment, whether your target is male or female.

(I'm not singling you out, I'm just trying to figure out the whole "telling people to smile" thing. I could see if you were all trapped at the bottom of a well and while you were waiting for rescuers you told your trapped mates to "grin and bear it"?)

#237 8 years ago
Quoted from Geocab:

Do you have a smart phone? Record this dumbass next time.

There's a lady who works in downtown Minneapolis that records her interactions with guys who try to "chat her up" on her way to and home from work.

Some of them are quite tame, while others are pretty cringeworthy.

She takes the time to talk to the guys (it's usually guys, OK, who am I kidding, it's always guys) and explain to them where she thinks they went wrong. Most of the guys take it pretty well and you get the idea that maybe they'll reconsider their approach the next time around.

I mostly watch it because I'm nostalgic for the streets of downtown Minneapolis and I try to pick out different blocks and storefronts.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVTnOjyu7gxMCbh00aLS3gQ

http://www.cardsagainstharassment.com/about.html

20
#238 8 years ago
Quoted from Geocab:

Not saying your husband should risk his job

Yes, he's already on FMLA, so losing jobs and money is the last thing we need. Otherwise that encounter would have ended differently.

Quoted from flynnibus:

So while I don't agree with the guy's tactic - I can agree with the comment about ignoring people being rude.
What you are eluding to is some sort of sexual harassment, when I read the story it sounds like more of an anger, tone issue stroked by how you responded to his actions.
How many issues stem from people simply not saying what they mean???

So all of that is my fault because I tried to avoid confrontation? Yes, obviously I deserved it somehow by walking into the cafe to buy food. Do you know what would have happened if I had confronted him in the cafe in the middle of everyone? I would be that psycho feminist bitch that yelled at a poor guy who was just telling her to smile.

You know what else is rude? Yelling at people across a room and threatening them. I can guarantee you that the number one response from women is to not to respond at all, because then you give them the attention that they want. Just telling them "You are making me uncomfortable" does nothing to someone who thinks it is ok to single out and harass people. I never said it was sexual harassment, but he did refer to me as the property of my husband, as illustrated in that link.

Quoted from guyincognito:

I'm not aware that particular sort of harassament exists on Pinside? (Although I don't read nearly as many threads as a moderator does.)

I think a lot of what happens here is not as direct, for sure not intentional, and left up to interpretation. What one person thinks is funny and fine, another finds extreme offense at and reports wanting punishment for it. Most of the women here know they're stepping into a world full of men, and we'll play along and give you a hard time for fun, sometimes being just as crude and rude. The line between harassment and fun is a very thin one and drawn into the sand, and each person has their own levels of sensitivty and tolerance. I'm pretty darn tolerant, and I'm still here. But for example for those that think nothing ever happens here... I've personally been called a psycho bitch, crazy liberal feminist, asked if I was PMSing, told multiple times via video attack and a PM or two to "go suck a dick," and been told to post pics (especially of my chest, to prove that I'm female) because they needed pics for their spank bank. And yes, if that was done on a public page for myself or any other person then it would have been deleted quickly and modded as a personal attack.

#239 8 years ago

This is ridiculous. Robin asked us all to stay on the topic of pinball and be friendlier. Now we're dishing out advice on how to deal with workplace harassment? Why is workplace harassment even being discussed on a pinball site? Why is a thread that's about how women love pinball unable to stay about pinball? Come on everyone, get with the program!

-1
#240 8 years ago
Quoted from s1500:

Jennifer Peavler

she abused me on shrek. great player

-4
#241 8 years ago
Quoted from guyincognito:

Under what circumstances, would you expect to tell any grown adult that you didn't know on a friendly or familial basis "to smile" more than once? (Or even once...)

You act like it's some demented way of saying "dance for me..."

It's just people making conversation. Some see people maybe having a rough day... they say smile and try to lift them up. The idea that everyone looks better when they are happy or smiling is not necessarily sexual advances. This is the 'OMG, something COULD be evil.. so lets get rid of it' over reaction taking over this society.

Does anyone really give that much of a F... about the weather? No, but we use it all the time in conversation. Or what about the team someone has on their shirt, or what top they have... or does anyone really care that you have the same shirt?? No - it's all just conversation and people trying to be cordial.

Before too long... trying to start a conversation with someone who is shy is going to be considered harassment.... because someone had the nerve to speak first.

#242 8 years ago
Quoted from blondetall:

But for example for those that think nothing ever happens here... I've personally been called a psycho bitch, crazy liberal feminist, asked if I was PMSing, told multiple times via video attack and a PM or two to "go suck a dick," and been told to post pics (especially of my chest, to prove that I'm female) because they needed pics for their spank bank. And yes, if that was done on a public page for myself or any other person then it would have been deleted quickly and modded as a personal attack.

I hope the asking for pics guys are no longer on this site. The line there was crossed a mile back. WTF is wrong with people?

#243 8 years ago
Quoted from Curtis_Playfield:

Guys go ahead and talk all the smack you want, but I'm on my way out, and I wanted to say a couple things before the door slams on my fat ass.
First of all! There are many, many cool women in the pinball hobby.

In other shocking and controversial news, water is wet.

I don't understand why the OP had to start off this rant EXPECTING that people were all going to rise up and say "no, women are not cool and have no place in pinball."

I know it got a bunch of thumbs-up, but I think it the whole premise was asinine.... AND the fact that he/she was all, "well, I'm leaving so NOW I'm going to get this off my chest and then hasta lavista Mofos"

All that was missing was them to include a "mic drop" jpg...

-12
#244 8 years ago
Quoted from blondetall:

So all of that is my fault because I tried to avoid confrontation?

I said contributed... I didn't say you caused it. How many times do situations blow up because people simply didn't communicate? Why is communication a key ingredient in understanding in relationships... yet we expect other inter-personal interaction to just work flawlessly without it?

Quoted from blondetall:

Yes, obviously I deserved it somehow by walking into the cafe to buy food. Do you know what would have happened if I had confronted him in the cafe in the middle of everyone? I would be that psycho feminist bitch that yelled at a poor guy who was just telling her to smile.

Instead you're "...that crazy girl turning people into HR for just trying to have a conversation!" I don't find that much of an improvement

Nothing good comes out of a situation that is all one-sided and only one view represented. If people just TALKED and actually said what they mean... things would be a lot easier. You may be worried it would upset the guy... but at least he knows where you are coming from and you have a point of reference to draw the line with.

Instead you opt'd to just hide from it, try to ignore it and altered your life, and expect it to just magically change, when the other side is oblivious to it?

Quoted from blondetall:

Just telling them "You are making me uncomfortable" does nothing to someone who thinks it is ok to single out and harass people

Now that's a circular argument... you conclude he started out wanting or believing he was harrassing you and so he thinks its ok.. because you think he was.. so there is no point in saying something?

Is that like saying "there was no point in telling the guy who was hitting on me NO, because you'd think he wouldn't stop anyway?" -- Are people supposed to be mind readers?

Quoted from blondetall:

The line between harassment and fun is a very thin one and drawn into the sand, and each person has their own levels of sensitivty and tolerance

And a very hard line for anyone to respect if people never vocalize their boundaries.

#245 8 years ago
Quoted from blondetall:

I don't know if anyone cares or if this is truly related to anything in this topic, but I thought I'd share a personal story related to the "smile" part of the link Rando gave.
I work at a large company where there is a cafe on site. It's a 10 minute walk just to the parking garage and I only have a 30 minute lunch, so either I get food in the cafe or I bring something from home and go eat in the cafe seating area since the microwaves are there. A few months ago, a new male employee in the cafe was working the register, and while ringing up my food told me "Smile." Ok, fine, he's being polite I guess. I smile. A couple of days later, he's working the food line and while I'm standing there waiting I hear "Hey, do you remember what I told you last time... I said smile." He's still got a smile on his face so I assume he's being friendly enough, even though it's a bit creepy as he's singled me out in a group of like 10 women.
The next week I walk through the cafe to get a drink, and he yells at me from across the cafe (about 40 feet away, with at least 20 something people around) "Hey... you'd better smile." I've been singled out again, and this time it creeps me out to the point that I don't want to be anywhere near him, so I pay and bring my lunch for awhile, avoiding the cafe completely. Then one day I'm just walking through the cafe to go sit down, and he does it again. I pretend that I don't see or hear him. It doesn't work. No smile on his face, cold eyes, cold tone in his voice.... "Hey, hey! I know you can hear me. You'd better not be ignoring me. I told you to smile, and you'd better listen." So, lunches are ruined, but what am I supposed to do about it really, because how stupid does it sound for me to report someone for telling me to smile?
The next week I'm leaving the cafe area and he sees me. I again completely ignore him, avoid all eye contact, try to make myself invisible. Yet he still yells at me across the way, this time with anger in his voice. "Hey, you'd better stop ignoring me. I'm talking to you, and you are being rude ignoring me." My husband works at the same company and was with me but a ways behind me, and walked up about that time. I looked at him with a 'don't say anything, I just want to get out of here' look, which the guy saw, and proceeded to then yell at my husband "Hey, your woman is disrepecting me. You'd better say something to her before I have to teach her a lesson in manners." I get husband and myself the heck out of there fast.
That's the day I reported him. And I was laughed at by the cafe management. Two male managers sat me down and asked exactly what the issue was, as they had instructed their employees to be friendly to people and have conversations. I tried to explain that singling me out and screaming at me from 20-40 feet away and threatening me and my husband was in no way a polite conversation. That I felt threatened, that I didn't want to eat in their cafe at all, and that I'd appreciate if they did something about it. They informed me that they'd talk to him and tell him to stop raising his voice across the cafe, and to leave me alone in particular. I told them I didn't want singling out, not to mention my name or description at all, because he'd already escalated the situation multiple times with me simply walking in that area, and I didn't need to be more of a target. They all but rolled their eyes at me.
He has stopped talking to me, but will death glare me down if I'm anywhere near him. I have to actively avoid one of the main buildings and the only source of food because of this. All because some guy decided to tell me to 'smile' and then get super weird and threatening, and I wasn't taken seriously. And since there are 6000 people here and 80%+ are women, I'd be willing to bet that I'm not the only one that's been singled out, but I know I was the only one that reported him because they were truly shocked (and thought it funny) that I was offened enough by being told to smile to report him.

That is an awful situation.

But, your husband did the hardest (but correct) thing in not just decking the guy. I tip my hat to him.

I doubt I would have had his restraint, you married a good man.

#246 8 years ago

Blondetall, thanks for sharing your stories. I'm glad we have a female moderator to help keep us centered. I hate that I missed meeting you at SFGE, but there's always next year.

#247 8 years ago
Quoted from lowepg:

In other shocking and controversial news, water is wet.
I don't understand why the OP had to start off his rant EXPECTING that people were all going to rise up and say "no, women are not cool and have no place in pinball."
I know it got a bunch of thumbs-up, but I think it the whole premise was asinine.... AND the fact that he was all, "well, im leaving so NOW im going to get this off my chest and then hasta lavista Mofos"
All that was missing was him to include a "mic drop" jpg...

Read the thread. "He" (the OP) was pinball Molly, indeed a she!

#248 8 years ago
Quoted from Rando:

Really great graphic that pinpoints a lot of the issue brought up here: http://www.tickld.com/x/next-time-someone-says-women-arent-victims-of-harassment-show-them?utm_source=tickld&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=robothug&ts_pid=2&ts_pid=2
I'd love to post the pic but it's really big and the thread would flip out.
Those who should take a look at it probably won't, and those who don't really need to probably will, but putting it out there for your review.

this is great. hope people take the time to read it, preferably with an open mind.

11
#249 8 years ago
Quoted from flynnibus:

You act like it's some demented way of saying "dance for me..."

it IS saying "dance for me". it's saying your own personal space is my decoration and your private inner mood is my right to invade uninvited. the chances of a dude doing that to another dude are LESS THAN ZERO. she gave every possible indication that she did not want his opinion or input and it was HIM that eventually got hostile when she didn't submit to his commands for attention and subservience. if you can't see that from her story then i am just disheartened that some people can be so blind to what it's like being a woman, even after it's been so explicitly, carefully and unemotionally explained.

#250 8 years ago
Quoted from flynnibus:

You act like it's some demented way of saying "dance for me..."
It's just people making conversation. Some see people maybe having a rough day... they say smile and try to lift them up. The idea that everyone looks better when they are happy or smiling is not necessarily sexual advances. This is the 'OMG, something COULD be evil.. so lets get rid of it' over reaction taking over this society.

You weren't there, she was, and tone and body language mean everything in these kind of situations. You have no basis to say that the guy was "just making conversation," and based on his subsequent behavior he clearly wasn't. When you find yourself defending a sociopath that quickly slid from light harassment to yelling across a food court (at his place of work!) at a woman he doesn't even know, maybe it's time to step away from the keyboard and ask yourself what you're doing.

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