(Topic ID: 158870)

The Wife Card

By Taxman

7 years ago


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  • 206 posts
  • 88 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 7 years ago by sohchx
  • Topic is favorited by 1 Pinsider

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There are 206 posts in this topic. You are on page 3 of 5.
#101 7 years ago
Quoted from sohchx:

I have a close friend who's wife is just like this. If they can't do it together, or she just doesn't like it in general, she won't allow him to do it. Such a shame, and he wonders why I find her to be unbearable.

The "won't allow him to do it", meaning not allowed to participate at all, is unreasonable to me unless they simply don't have finances for it. If there is no flexibility and freedom in a marriage from either side it will likely be an unhappy union for one of the couple.
What I can understand is the scenario where the wife is being the limiter because we as hobbyist can and many do get carried away.
The time spent with the spouse, the space in the house taken up by the games, and stress about finances can become unbalanced if the hobby becomes too much of a focus.
I do cringe every time I see hobbyists with games set up in several rooms of their house or when someone talks about buying games on credit.

#102 7 years ago

This is my understanding of what wife cards are.

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#103 7 years ago
Quoted from o-din:

This is my understanding of what wife cards are.

Are you now converting all of your jokes to the metric system? Or is that an auto-conversion feature that Robin just added?

#104 7 years ago
Quoted from fosaisu:

Are you now converting all of your jokes to the metric system? Or is that an auto-conversion feature that Robin just added?

That's funny. The "cm" was the first thing I noticed and was trying to think of a good joke. But you nailed it.

#105 7 years ago
Quoted from Taxman:

That's funny. The "cm" was the first thing I noticed and was trying to think of a good joke. But you nailed it.

I guess in this context you also get to use a bigger number if you go metric, so maybe there's a method to o-din's madness ...

#106 7 years ago
Quoted from VDrums2112:

By some guys' definition around here I guess I'm a great big ol' fat fuckin' pussy then. It's not like I'm asking permission but I do feel like I should have enough respect for my wife to discuss and agree (or not) on a purchase as major as a pinball machine. If it's $500 or $5,000, it doesn't matter IMO. If you're one of those guys where a $5K (or more these days) purchase doesn't affect your household budget whatsoever then congratulations, you've won the life game. But I'm sure a vast majority of people in any expensive hobby are not in this situation.
What I don't get is, why would someone waste a sellers time and go look at a game and use this "wife card" thing. If you didn't like the game or it wasn't in the condition you thought it should be in for the price or couldn't agree on price, just say so and tell the guy, "Sorry, this game isn't for me". But don't bullshit him around. If you DO really have to discuss it with you're spouse, then you fucked up! You should have had that done already before even wasting the sellers time and you could have driven away with the game right then and there.
Any game I've ever bought, WE discussed it and decided that I would buy the game as long as it checked out condition wise. And you know what?... She's never told me "no". And yes, I used the word WE. Nothing wrong with the word WE, and if you do think that WE isn't the way it should be, you should have never gotten married in the first place.
And I personally don't buy all this "I buy what I want, when I want it, I don't need to ask anyone, I do what I want" macho-bullshit either. I work with a guy that has this kind of attitude about life in general and honestly, he's a sad, sorry ass, lonely, sack of shit that's constantly looking for attention and he thinks that's the only way to get it.
Discuss
-Steve

Exactly this for me. We talk about all major purchases. When it comes down to it, pinball is just a hobby. We're simply not at a point in our lives were a purchases of several thousand dollars are completely expendable. Wanting to discuss it is not about being a "pussy". It's not even a matter of not trusting each other to make important financial decisions. It's simply about having respect for each other. Is this purchase right for our family at this time? What are your thoughts? I've probably lost a handful of machines because I was unable to commit 100% right away, but I'm upfront about it with the seller. Some sellers are first-come, first-serve...period.

#108 7 years ago

Some comments after reading through the posts in this thread:

We could have some "wife cards" printed up and use them like Monopoly get-out-of-jail-free cards.

Unless you live in a hole in the side of a mountain of rock, please stop calling it a "man cave".

Discussing major purchases with your wife before buying sounds reasonable and considerate, but in some marriages only amounts to an opportunity for her to veto or forbid you from buying something. To be fair, this usually happens after you have already accumulated a lot of expensive stuff, as in: "What do you need another pinball game for? You already have (X-many)!" I currently own 16 pins, 9 electric guitars, 5 cars, an 80-inch TV and various other stuff. My wife firmly believes I don't need any more of anything.

#109 7 years ago
Quoted from DCFAN:

The "won't allow him to do it", meaning not allowed to participate at all, is unreasonable to me unless they simply don't have finances for it. If there is no flexibility and freedom in a marriage from either side it will likely be an unhappy union for one of the couple.
What I can understand is the scenario where the wife is being the limiter because we as hobbyist can and many do get carried away.

Agreed. Money doesn't seem to be an issue for him in most cases because he's a frivolous spender. I honestly think that she is a miserable and unhappy person in general. So if she can't be happy, he shouldn't be happy. From what he says she seems to find any and every reason just to be a b****. I knew this was coming two years ago before I warned him not to marry her lol. Now he talks all the time about wanting a divorce. He wants to get into pins because he enjoys playing mine but obviously she'll never go for that. Heck she flew off the handle because he spent $125 on a fully working arcade game.

#110 7 years ago
Quoted from sohchx:

Agreed. Money doesn't seem to be an issue for him in most cases because he's a frivolous spender. I honestly think that she is a miserable and unhappy person in general. So if she can't be happy, he shouldn't be happy. From what he says she seems to find any and every reason just to be a b****. I knew this was coming two years ago before I warned him not to marry her lol. Now he talks all the time about wanting a divorce. He wants to get into pins because he enjoys playing mine but obviously she'll never go for that. Heck she flew off the handle because he spent $125 on a fully working arcade game.

...if you were a REAL friend you'd help him start digging very large hole in his backyard...

#111 7 years ago

As long as there are no underlying $ issues (i.e. spending the mortgage on the hobby), it always seems to boil down to insecurity. "If (spouse) does (hobby) they have less time for ME!". I've known people that almost had to treat their hobbies like an affair--separate phone/email accounts, lying about where they were going, etc. bc their spouse was so controlling and jealous, they wouldn't be allowed to do it if they asked. I can't even imagine living that way--I'd much rather live alone than have to hide so much!

#112 7 years ago

I just got divorced, so I guess I can't play the wife card! Now I just have to find a hot gal who likes pinball. Ed

#113 7 years ago
Quoted from Fast-Ed:

I just got divorced, so I guess I can't play the wife card! Now I just have to find a hot gal who likes pinball. Ed

There must be an "ex-wife card" thread around here somewhere ...

#114 7 years ago
Quoted from fosaisu:

There must be an "ex-wife card" thread around here somewhere ...

The Ex-wife card mean she got your pins.

#115 7 years ago

Anytime anybody mentions their wife in this hobby...

"Oh now I can't sell it because my wife loves it."

"Oh, I can't pay that price because the wife."

I always figure it's bullshit.

But I figure that about ALL explanations in selling and haggling.

"I'm only selling this because I have a new GB coming in"
"I love it but I think it's time for someone else to enjoy it"
"It's an awesome game but I have too many projects right now!"

I don't give a wet fart and neither does anybody else. You see this stuff in FS ads all the time and it's completely ridiculous.

When you see me sell a game, I list the price, location, and brief description of condition. If people want to know more they can ask me. I get tired of all the additional garbage I have to wade through in FS ads because none of that stuff matters. I don't REALLY think some lame excuse/explanation is gonna help me sell my game so why bother?

So I don't take any particular offense at the wife card. It's just a small component of the regular white noise when it comes to buying and selling.

#116 7 years ago

What I don't understand is that on Craiglist, you don't even know the person you're dealing with, so why lie to them? Just tell them the truth, you don't wanna go through with the deal.

#117 7 years ago
Quoted from DaWezl:

As long as there are no underlying $ issues (i.e. spending the mortgage on the hobby), it always seems to boil down to insecurity. "If (spouse) does (hobby) they have less time for ME!".

For me, it is the opposite. Wife lends me money to buy pins, cause she knows when I've got a project, I'll be home and less annoying.

#118 7 years ago

I read threads like this and it makes me glad I married a dude (who enjoys pinball). :p

Pinball can get to be an expensive hobby, and the required real-estate can be a huge factor. In a decent relationship, you reach a compromise, and it varies as much as relationship dynamics (i.e infinite).

Hopefully, your spouses partake in the hobby in some aspect...If not, it might not be a bad idea to get them involved, even just a little is ok.

#119 7 years ago

My Wife can care less about pinball. That said, she's never stopped me from buying anything, Ever. Probably should have. If I use that excuse on anyone in the future, feel free to call me on it!

#120 7 years ago

I have only asked once to sell a game. And, it was because I bought the game specifically for her. I don't feel obligated to ask in any regular situation. But, I am sure I will get some negative feedback for trading her Doctor Who. Despite her giving me the approval and offering it up for trade.

#121 7 years ago
Quoted from CrazyLevi:

Anytime anybody mentions their wife in this hobby...
"Oh now I can't sell it because my wife loves it."
"Oh, I can't pay that price because the wife."
I always figure it's bullshit.
But I figure that about ALL explanations in selling and haggling.
"I'm only selling this because I have a new GB coming in"
"I love it but I think it's time for someone else to enjoy it"
"It's an awesome game but I have too many projects right now!"
I don't give a wet fart and neither does anybody else. You see this stuff in FS ads all the time and it's completely ridiculous.
When you see me sell a game, I list the price, location, and brief description of condition. If people want to know more they can ask me. I get tired of all the additional garbage I have to wade through in FS ads because none of that stuff matters. I don't REALLY think some lame excuse/explanation is gonna help me sell my game so why bother?
So I don't take any particular offense at the wife card. It's just a small component of the regular white noise when it comes to buying and selling.

Hey! We're talking here...stop being so damn logical!

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#122 7 years ago

The Wife Card:

Definition: A card that often gets played as a trump card during negotiations to "buy more time" or to get out of a purchase or a sale, or gets played during discussions to get out of joining in on a suggested activity with other guys/friends.
.

Rules for playing the Wife Card:

Not many rules here. Often played as a bluff (a Lie) to try to weasel out of a situation.
Sometimes played honestly with true concern for other family members.
Can be played by the type a man who wears the pants in his family, but his wife tells him which pair to wear.

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.

#123 7 years ago
Quoted from CrazyLevi:

When you see me sell a game, I list the price, location, and brief description of condition. If people want to know more they can ask me.

Nice try. I'm sure the first question you get on every sale is "yeah, but what does your wife think about it?"

#124 7 years ago
Quoted from Taxman:

I think it is kind of funny how everyone here (or mathematically close to everyone) knows what it means when someone says - "I thought I had a buyer lined up but he pulled the wife card". As a never married person I wonder. Is this common in other hobbies? Is this common in general for other things?
I can imagine someone saying "Bill was supposed to come to poker night, but he played the wife card instead". But is this a "known expression"?

Never understood this way of thinking. My wife buys what she wants (she is very frugal) and I buy what I want. Neither of us ask before we buy anything and our money is in a joint account. I guess many men either have a wife that is too controlling or they cannot live within their means and the wife has to make sure they can pay the mortgage. Either is a bad position to be in.

#125 7 years ago
Quoted from glasairpilot:

or they cannot live within their means and the wife has to make sure they can pay the mortgage.

Most don't live within their means, but God love 'em. The U.S. is based upon credit/debt.

#126 7 years ago
Quoted from glasairpilot:

I guess many men either have a wife that is too controlling or they cannot live within their means and the wife has to make sure they can pay the mortgage. Either is a bad position to be in.

I'm not wealthy, neither is my wife, so maybe our situation is different. But I don't think it is a bad idea to discuss expensive purchases beforehand with your significant other. I just do it as a courtesy, I've never been told no. I don't need her permission, and she doesn't need mine. We just like to let each other know what we're spending money on. I don't think that's a bad position to be in.

#127 7 years ago
Quoted from thedefog:

I'm not wealthy, neither is my wife, so maybe our situation is different. But I don't think it is a bad idea to discuss expensive purchases beforehand with your significant other. I just do it as a courtesy, I've never been told no. I don't need her permission, and she doesn't need mine. We just like to let each other know what we're spending money on. I don't think that's a bad position to be in.

I agree with you. Nothing wrong with discussing joint finances. My point is that someone saying "my wife said no" is no excuse because they already would have known what the answer was before the question came up. Common sense should always dictate your purchases. In my opinion, if you have ANY revolving credit that does not get paid off monthly you should not buy anything you do not absolutely need.

#128 7 years ago

man I'm glad my wife is cool and isn't my Mother 2.0

#129 7 years ago

Funny, I got two down votes in my initial post for this thread just asking a question. I guess those two didn't want to be reminded that their nads are in a jar in someone's purse right now.

#130 7 years ago
Quoted from Taxman:

Funny, I got two down votes in my initial post for this thread just asking a question. I guess those two didn't want to be reminded that their nads are in a jar in someone's purse right now.

Sorry, every time someone complains about getting down-voted, I'm compelled to down-vote them. A potentially vicious cycle, I know.

#131 7 years ago
Quoted from fosaisu:

Sorry, every time someone complains about getting down-voted, I'm compelled to down-vote them. A potentially vicious cycle, I know.

I noticed because I wanted to re-read my initial post. I thought my original premise was kind of missed during the thread. I wanted to know if other hobbies has the same type of thing. Do you call someone up and say your wife won't let you buy that car or comic book.

#132 7 years ago
Quoted from fosaisu:

Sorry, every time someone complains about getting down-voted, I'm compelled to down-vote them. A potentially vicious cycle, I know.

Quoted from Taxman:

Funny, I got two down votes in my initial post for this thread just asking a question. I guess those two didn't want to be reminded that their nads are in a jar in someone's purse right now.

Your original 2 down votes are from illegal accounts. Nibor was down voting everyone, and has already been banned; I don't quite know why his votes stay here though. The second was from keymaster, whom I am guessing is the replacement for Nibor, or Taco Tuesday or whomever.

The last 2 down votes are from us, and you earned them complaining aboot the first 2

Quoted from Taxman:

Do you call someone up and say your wife won't let you buy that car or comic book.

Yes, well I call the car dealership or comic book store.

#133 7 years ago
Quoted from TheLaw:

Your original 2 down votes are from illegal accounts. Nibor was down voting everyone, and has already been banned; I don't quite know why his votes stay here though. The second was from keymaster, whom I am guessing is the replacement for Nibor, or Taco Tuesday or whomever.
The last 2 down votes are from us, and you earned them complaining aboot the first 2

Was less of a complaint than an observation. I could not understand my initial question being controversial. It was saying the term just seems to be known, is it common and used elsewhere.

But now that you explain the accounts it makes perfect sense. I said something to Rascal in another thread where I mentioned his "master" and the need for attention. So I'll be followed for a while. I'm not losing sleep.

#134 7 years ago

Keymaster was created today. Created 4 posts. 3 GB and 1 in a Rascal thread. And they are following Whysnow. Hmmm, stalker or what.

-5
#135 7 years ago
Quoted from fosaisu:

Sorry, every time someone complains about getting down-voted, I'm compelled to down-vote them. A potentially vicious cycle, I know.

I can't believe I haven't been down-voted. WTF???

#136 7 years ago
Quoted from beelzeboob:

I can't believe I haven't been down-voted.

I worded an opinion poorly in another thread and got down-voted deservedly. Tried to clarify my opinion in a follow-up post and got down-voted again 'cause the damage was already done.

#138 7 years ago

While this is a hobby, these items frequently cost thousands of dollars and take up huge space in a residence. It comes across as silly for anyone to assume they shouldn't discuss such a purchase with their significant other at some point, hopefully before a deal is committed to!

#139 7 years ago
Quoted from awarner:

My Wife can care less about pinball. That said, she's never stopped me from buying anything, Ever. Probably should have. If I use that excuse on anyone in the future, feel free to call me on it!

same here. She doesn't give a shit what I buy or sell or how much I buy. As long as all our bills get paid, she doesn't care.

#140 7 years ago
Quoted from littlecammi:

I currently own 16 pins, 9 electric guitars, 5 cars, an 80-inch TV

GT500,... my wife says I can't come over tonight. But she said if I get all my chores done,...maybe tomorrow. Maybe.

#141 7 years ago
Quoted from CaptainNeo:

same here. She doesn't give a shit what I buy or sell or how much I buy. As long as all our bills get paid, she doesn't care.

This is how we do things in our house

#142 7 years ago
Quoted from fosaisu:

Nice try. I'm sure the first question you get on every sale is "yeah, but what does your wife think about it?"

More like "does your wife even think?"

#144 7 years ago

If your wife isn't your partner in your life... wtf did you marry them?

It's hysterical that some got all upset over boobs, etc and cat calling as misogynist... that's playful... the shit in this thread is full on treating the woman you married as subordinate or lesser people. w0w

-1
#145 7 years ago
Quoted from thedefog:

I'm not wealthy, neither is my wife, so maybe our situation is different. But I don't think it is a bad idea to discuss expensive purchases beforehand with your significant other. I just do it as a courtesy, I've never been told no. I don't need her permission, and she doesn't need mine. We just like to let each other know what we're spending money on. I don't think that's a bad position to be in.

I don't have first hand experience with this...but have several friends that do, whenever they are going to buy something (pin, car parts etc.) they always say have to check with the wife to see if she'll let me?? I can buy pretty much what I want, (except AC/DC Luci cause he says he doesn't like the game, and it is too overpriced!) but in general, we are free to buy what we want when we want...I usually discuss big purchases like NIB pins or my truck with him, but if I see a pin on CL, I do the deal and will usually text him and tell him to meet me on site to help load it... I did buy our 1 and only NIB MET kind of on the sly...He wanted one, and we had agreed that we would get one (and sold a few pins to fund it) but when I ordered it, I told him (he wanted an LE) that Trent was out of LEs so he would have to wait till one went up for sale. I had ordered a Roadcase soon as I found out the LEs were gone. I finally did have to tell him because I went on 2 day road trip with Trent to (help him deliver and bring his truck back to his place while he flew to a tourney) pick it up...but he didn't know for sure till then.
As far as the "hubby" card...it only applies to me getting a Luci at this point!!

Phoebe

#146 7 years ago
Quoted from flynnibus:

the shit in this thread is full on treating the woman you married as subordinate or lesser people. w0w

Thanks Madmen!

#147 7 years ago

LittleCammi, do you like Eddie Money ?
Cause I might be able to get like, 29th row seats for us. Just sayin.

#148 7 years ago

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#149 7 years ago

All of these were bought after the wife left in 2000

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#150 7 years ago

Bob you called in an airstrike on your ex ?
Now that's some vengance.

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