https://www.quora.com/What-celebrities-destroyed-their-career-practically-overnight/answer/Richard-Johnson-821

This is it, Craig Bobby has reached his final form. Repent and be spared before he sucks Zach's soul from his body like the world's cheeriest Dementor, upon which he will ascend to true godhood and take his place upon the throne as the new ruler of the pinball illuminati.

I'd never heard of this one so I looked it up and it's super cool! I don't think it qualifies as a projected target since the targets themselves are physical, but honestly I think it's even better than that: it's the only game I can think of before the advent of RGB lighting where the inserts changed contextually over the course of the game.

Demonstration starts around 22:00 (link is timestamped):

It looks like he's cutting a wrestling promo.

If only Mean Gene Okerlund were here.

The last time I paid $40 for a shirt was at a Creed concert when I was 14.

Congratulations on being equal to Scott Stapp.

Title of your sex tape.

Also I just realized that I bought one of the Dwight shirts and not one with any of your nonsense on it.

Which I guess makes you more like Alter Bridge.

Road Kings next to Pinbot? Pearls before swine, I tell ya.

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Not featured is the broken Rollergames immediately to my right which made me sad until I remembered how much I love the shirt I was wearing.

Don’t tell Zach though, if he asks then I think it’s crap and I only bought it so I could inevitably ruin it with pit stains.

And for the hat trick: WHEN?!

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Run a modest high pass filter across your vocal track and see what happens.

Rollergames is a masterpiece. Boo this man.

“They” being.... Pepsi and Fanta?

Plus you literally quoted Black Knight while trash-talking a playfield magnet. Irony, thy name is ZMeny.

Come and get it, Mr. Badass.

IT’S LITERALLY CALLED MAGNA-SAVE ZACH IF THAT’S NOT A MAGNET THAT EXISTS TO COMPENSATE FOR YOUR FUCKUPS THEN MAYBE INSANE CLOWN POSSE WAS RIGHT AND NOBODY KNOWS SHIT ABOUT MAGNETS

So by your own logic you also hate outlane kickbacks and the saucer thingy on World Cup Soccer.

Also, ball saves.

Besides, if that theme song doesn’t get your blood pumping every single time then you’re already dead inside before you even plunge ball 1, so the magnet is largely irrelevant.

Just remembered I took a pic of the one I mentioned in this post. I turned it on when they weren’t looking and started a game just to listen to the music, hahaha.
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lol I’m just being a little shit about the magnet, I actually agree with you about it except for one thing: it’s a FANTASTIC way to show a new player that shot and how it works. It tutorializes a gameplay feature that might not be immediately clear to a new player. And, lest we all forget, Rollergames was supposed to be a pretty massive license in a time when licensed pins were scarce so they were probably expecting a lot of earnings to be from the casual crowd. Combine that with the fact that upper flippers were still pretty uncommon at the time so it probably wasn’t unreasonable to expect a casual player to not even notice that shot was up there, and the magnet actually starts to make a heck of a lot of sense for a game made in 1990.

Meanwhile, the hardcore crowd could just unplug it and move on.

Product of its time, that game. But that’s what makes it so damn special.

God Matt Morrison is such a good interviewer and I get the sense that he doesn’t even realize just how good he is sometimes.

I could listen to him interview the toilet from Junkyard and probably still hang on every word.

If I had to attempt to describe it, I would say that instead of working down his list of questions, he actively listens to what his interview subject is saying and follows up with whatever is clearly the next most logical question.

Just an absolute pleasure to listen to, with the gentlemanly southern drawl on top.

PS - Explain to me in excruciating detail how the Godzilla magnet dribbling the ball down to the upper flipper for an easy layup is a work of genius without sounding like a complete hypocrite about Rollergames, go.

I mean paying close enough attention to the game to see that a magnet grabbed your ball is a skill too, so is it just a matter of skill dick size?

I actually can’t remember, is the flipper dead on RG while the magnet gets set up? If you can fuck up the ball coming to rest on the magnet then avoiding doing so also requires game knowledge and impulse control.

Note to self: double check the exact rules mechanics of the upper Rollergames flipper instead of whatever other important shit I had planned to do for the next 15 minutes.

ayyyy chuckwurt dropping the answers and helping me get my kids to soccer on time instead of poring over rule sheets lol

I mean yeah the magnet has five(?) different things it can do with the ball, it’s just that one of those things is setting up a “free” shot to the upper flipper. That’s the particular behavior I’m referencing.

Call the fire department, this one’s out of control!

Hmmmmm theme dream or theme nightmare?

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Also, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, the Premium and LE have a basement playfield with a bike bash toy and the Pro just has a scoop and a callout that says “There’s no basement in the Alamo!”

So like Munsters, only instead of Grandpa Jackpots it’s some other kind of equally important jackpot.

Anyway since this is the text box I just happen to have a cursor in at the moment, this thread is now a contest to decide who can pitch the worst possible music pin of all time.

Leonard Cohen: The Pinball Experience, featuring “I’m Your Man” multiball where every ball you drain while the ball saver is active adds a multiplier to your jackpots.

Also, nails hammered into the side of the cabinet right next to the flipper buttons so every once in a while you end up stabbing yourself by accident.

On the LE, the buttons are actually replaced with razor blades, that way there’s yet another kind of pointless accessory blade that you’ll never receive in addition to the art ones.

Also there’s a mode for “The Captain” which literally has a joke in it about the Holocaust, but Leonard Cohen was Jewish and he’s the one that wrote it so who are we to say people aren’t allowed to laugh at it and maybe also learn something if we think about it long enough?

Also, once again: Rollergames is a masterpiece, boo this man.

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Don’t blame me, this is what happens when all the content creators go to Expo and leave the inmates running the asylum.

I would listen to Jeff Teolis read Mein Kampf.

Not finding it, but search results turned up his rendition of 50 Shades of Grey which is even better honestly.

God just imagine if instead of mediocre art criticized by art teachers, Hitler had made a mediocre pin that was criticized by Pinside.

Wolfenstein 3D could have been a documentary and mecha-Hitler could have been the ultimate bash toy.

Only there would be no George Gomez to step in and finish his last game for him like convicted pedophile John Trudeau or disgruntled former employee Steve Ritchie.

Also, which WWII license would make a better pin: Band of Brothers or Saving Private Ryan?

I would listen to Craig Bobby read 120 Days of Sodom.

friscopinball CALL TO ARMS, FIGHT FOR THE GLORY OF THE ROLLERGAMES MAGNET

I would listen to Dennis Kriesel read a word-for-word transcript of every awkward conversation I’ve ever had (of which there have been a great many) as long as he promised to do it as Nord-Man.

Screw it, let’s make our own. With riverboat blackjack. And hookers.

I would listen to Matt Morrison read that Matthew McConaughey biography I keep seeing in airports.

Bizarrely enough, in this scenario “Matt M.” does not provide sufficient disambiguation.

You should try saying it with your mouth instead.

I would listen to Jessy Jay read the list of charges that got her ancestors shipped off to Criminal Island.

I would listen to Norton read a list of all the horrible atrocities he’s suffered.

Petition to change the topic of this thread to good puppy appreciation.

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oh god i don’t know how to use social media

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I would listen to Ryan C. read, if he could.

I would listen to Craig Bobby read a Dave Barry book silently to himself apart from the occasional amused giggle.

I would listen to Tom Graf read the 1980-1982 Williams parts catalog.

Or any of them really, as long as there are no parts in it for Pinbot.

I would listen to Bill and Amanda read from their show notes while I fall asleep at 8pm on a Friday night because that’s all the gas I got left in the tank tonight but the bit must go through, rain or shine.

I would listen to Dennis talk about watches if I could.

I tried.

I just can’t.

ps - https://www.swatch.com/en-en/internet-time.html

the video is mandatory viewing on the level of the Punny Factory wizard.

You know what? Since it’s the holidays, I’ll let this one slide without strangling you through the computer screen.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.

Ham.

“Lady I only speak two languages, English and Bad English.”

- Mark Ritchie

-Kaneda

New game: recast Monster Bash with TPN personalities, go.

Also Dennis is off-limits for Frankenstein because that’s just low-hanging fruit and you can do better than that.

Also to be clear they’re not only re-doing callouts, they’re actually being miniaturized and installed as playfield toys as well.

For charity.

Don’t tell me my business, Wolfman.

Besides, we all know that Dennis is low-key the perfect Dracula but I was trying to keep that Ace up my sleeve like Kenny fuckin’ Rogers.

Because we know for a fact that if you give that man a bit character to play, he will SINK HIS FUCKIN FANGS INTO IT.

LIKE A VAMPIRE BAT.

MIC DROP.

Ugh, I’m gonna have to do the whole thing myself now. I thought making content was supposed to be easy, that I could just post a bunch of silly shit with no accountability and then once enough folks get their Greg Bone panties in a twist, put all my posts behind a paywall as if all that drivel were something worth paying for.

Anyway where was I? We’ve got Wolfman and Drac dealt with, which leaves:

Creature - Chuck Wurt. Not because of his looks, but just because “Chuck Wurt” sounds like the most perfect name for a chill grumpy swamp dude who still knows how to rock.

Bride - Purely dependent on which of the girls can hit the high note. I propose a single-elimination round of “Anything you can sing, I can sing higher,” hot-potato style.

Mummy - Ahhhhhh, the one true tough choice. Anybody could be under those bandages! So, what makes the MB mummy REALLY stand out from other mummies? We don’t know all that much about him except:

1. Musician
2. Distinctive Voice
3. Ancient

However, I believe the evidence before us proves quite conclusively that the man for the job is obviously Mr. Jeff Teolis.

I yield the remainder of my time.

Why, are you a cop? If you are you have to tell me.

OH SHIT ITS THE BAKALAR WHADDUUUUUUUUP

That’s awesome, could you help Zach make a show that’s anywhere near as good as SBC?

Honestly I’m not sure I can survive listening to this many sexy men all at once.

And Travis too.

Gonna go dig this one out of the archives! The great part about having no long term memory is

Joel: *five minutes of silence*
Gomez: “…..is Deadpool family friendly?”
Joel: “Yeah?”

JStoltz hey remember when I told you I once heard Gomez recommend putting WD-40 on a mech? This was where I heard it. Good times.

What a beautiful way of saying “we didn’t feel like doing show notes.”

Poofing and wafting is how we learned to safely smell unknown bottled liquids in Mr. Edge’s high school chemistry class, so I think Dennis may be objectively and scientifically in the wrong on this one.

Although I’m pretty sure Mr. Edge sniffed a lot of chemicals on purpose as well, so who knows.

If Tom is the Mr. Drummond of Triple Drain, who’s Arnold and who’s Willis?

and, perhaps more importantly, where’s Kimberly?

nevermind Joel is so obviously Arnold that I’m embarrassed I even asked.

also, if there was a Tom Graf invalid switch frenzy mode, what clip from the sound board should each switch hit play?

New segment: “Tom sings.”

yeah agreed, ever have an idea and then a few hours later you find yourself wondering what in the wide wide world of sports you were thinking?

this post is called “Matt Morrison”

he makes the best fucking interviews
he makes the best fucking interviews
if i ever meet him i’m gonna grab his fuckin neck and just shake him and say “thank you, thank you for making such excellent fucking interviews”

This, but mostly just because it drives me crazy sometimes how pinball media likes to forget every game manufactured prior to 2010 or so.

Magic: the Gathering has faced a similar problem because there are so damn many cards that it’s impossible to balance the entire product line to keep it fun. They’ve solved the problem in tournament play by further subdividing competitions beyond just “old” and “‘new” - currently they have Vintage, Legacy, Modern, Frontier and Standard as supported constructed deck formats in tournament play, each with their own card pool and banned list. Maybe it’s time to add a “Modern” tournament in addition to Classics?

Kinda would be nice to relegate the production updates to a Flip N Out email blast rather than TPS in my opinion, but it’s not a huge deal and other people seem to enjoy it so

e: The other big advantage that the Standard MtG format grants is that because the card pool is smaller and the deck archetypes are fewer, it’s much easier for newer players to follow. Nothing is more annoying on a tournament steam than watching a game where even the commentators obviously don’t know the rules.

Out of context, that’s a very good point.

…hence the suggestion? lol

can I just say how happy it makes me that there’s so much pinball content that a clips show is not only possible but wonderful?

I have nothing to add but this post deserves to appear more than once.

Also where does Riverboat Gambler land a man according to your obviously rigorous pinball science?

Don’t worry Tom. No matter how often people try and rib you for being a Rush apologist, you’ll never be as delusional as Zach is about Halloween.

No TPS this week?

Dear everyone who thought TPS deserved to win a Crystal,

This is all your fault.

so far so good zach

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edit: yes i know i didn’t write everyone’s name on there i’m lazy as shit get over it

hey we got a wise guy here, go Uck a battery.

you seem like the kind of person who leaves negative reviews on amazon for breakfast cereal

Baseless speculation on my part, but reading between the lines it sounds to me as if he got passed over for a major project that he thought was gonna be his.

As hard as I have tried to mend the bridge, it’s collapsed

hmmmmm

Never attribute to malice that which could be adequately explained by poor taste.

Elvira is a 34D for me.

wow sounds like a Bally Frontier in here all of a sudden

ooooooooh i’m saving this one until i’m in my COMFY SOCKS

Can you recommend a show pairing for tighty-whities, a Hypercolor shirt and a dab rig?

“‘Yours’ would’ve been a much better punchline jsyk

ahhh yes here we go

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dear dave and ron,

stop making these shows so information-packed, you’re going to wear out the tape on my podcatcher because i keep having to rewind so i don’t miss any of these TASTY NUGGETS

jesus are you trying to kill me

is joel v. keith the most wholesome pinball podcast of 2022? too early to tell, but the bar has been set preeeetty high.

nah i only buy my women’s socks heavily used

*tarantino intensifies*

hey nick, are you gonna be at TPF to give bingo lessons? if so where is the signup sheet, i wanna be at the top.

dang, well until then may all your magic screens do whatever the heck it is magic screens are supposed to do, i don’t actually know because i’ve been waiting for someone to show me because bingos confuse and intimidate me.

also joel how come you can get the crazies to come out with your objective review but i can say shit like this and nobody makes a peep

personally i think you should be taking it as a compliment

ps - free thought exercise for the pinball community in general:

who do you think has the higher chance of being biased about how bad halloween is, the people who stand to lose money if the value tanks or the dude whose catchphrase is literally pausing to think things through before saying “…that’s fair.”