(Sung to 'Right Said Fred' by Bernard Cribbins)
Right said And, we need an innovation
Transparent screen tech, that's the way to go.
Was a prism, what a load of jism,
My eyesight went haywire
And then he broke the bloody screen and
Right said And, I'll do a presentation,
Unveil Circe, explain it to the proles.
Was a dead loss, hung up on the mythos,
Not quick or high-concept
And so I went and had a cry and
Andrew had a think and he said "look Dave,
My feet are getting itchy
From advice said by Mark Ritchie
Even JPop admits that he thinks the idea's shit"
And right said And, we'd better change the theme then
Need a fast one, we've got a game with flow.
Started pacing, wasn't keen on racing,
Another plan like that on the go,
But then Andrew declared that we'd do some motorbikes
And I went "oh no".
Right said And, the loop accelerator,
That's our main mech, you've got to make it go.
Out of its box looked just like a big cock
Phil* and I went "NO WAY"
And then we took some dick pics with it
Right said And, I want some flyers printed,
Early '13 release at a show.
Two years later not a sweet potater,
Promo work went nowhere
And so we faced insolvency and
Andrew said "it's time to throw the annual UK Pinball Party
Which we'll hold at the factory
And we'll save some cash even though it looks slapdash"
And right said And, we've got to get this game out,
Spruce it up quick before we meet our doom.
By committee playfield art looks shitty,
Worked my ass off to make it bloom,
Until Andrew launched Alien to get preorder funds
And FT went boom.