I confess a new tradition started here while ago:
The annual cooking/grilling of the very large decoy ribs.
The burn ban ends in a few days, so it was time to celebrate, and the decoy ribs turned out AWESOME! We will be having leftovers tomorrow.
I confess I know I need to slow down and explain all this better:
Burn Ban: From what I remember this started about time the Olympics was coming here, (I hope I can say that O word here, so much is trademarked and whatever these days).
I thought the burn ban would go away after the O word left town, but it never did.
Our burn ban runs from May 1 to September 30.
You can not burn anything outdoors during that time.
BUT, you can have a fire outdoors if you are cooking.
So here is when what my girlfriend labeled the decoy ribs came into play.
(because me and my friends split a whole lot of firewood here, like 40 cords a year for our personal use, the splitter does accumulate a lot of small scraps that need to be burned). (it does not work to store all that scrap for a long time, I need fires here).
Anyway, I am tight with food costs, and when my girlfriend seen that rack of ribs (huge, like a Flintstone cartoon), she said I can not believe you bought that for us!
I said I did not buy this for us at the moment, but if the Fire Department wants to show up and fine me $500 for burning during the burning ban, I have proof that I need a fire this big to cook this large rack of ribs, and they can not say one word about any fire that is used for cooking.
I confess I have had a lot of fun with this for months now. My girlfriend would ask what we were having for dinner, and I would say ribs if the fire department shows up and stays until I put them on the grate over the fire.
AND, I could have cooked any time anyway and it would be fine, oak, hickory, and pecan wood scraps was all I burned.
I never burn "trash", that is highly illegal, but year round the a$$holes behind me burn all their plastic trash and whatever and stink up the area.
Anytime I burn, or cook outdoors, my smoke smells like what a great BBQ place has coming out of their chimney. I never burn trash like others around here does.
(idiots sometimes even are throwing aerosol cans on their fires and shoots like a missal and ends up in my yard).
And I confess I was totally, well not totally, but a tad lazy with the decoy ribs while ago.
I boiled them on the stove for a hour, and then put them on a outside fire with charcoal and pecan scraps, and put sweet sauce on them while outdoors, and man they were super tender and super tasty.
I am no angel, but at least while I burn year round I am burning legal stuff to burn, and never any plastic or other crap the people behind me burns.
I can, and will throw a big rack of ribs anytime on a fire I start.
ANYWAY, please check your local code before you burn anything!
A few years ago tenants at a rental house left a lot of stuff and I was just going to pile it out back and burn it. I had already bought diesel fuel to get it going.
I told my uncle about that. He said hell no, you could get a big fine. Well, I still planned on doing what I was going to do, already had everything in a pile ready to burn the next day, BUT, after a few beers I researched a tad, and seen where I could get fined 1500.00 and jail time, for what just 300.00 to the dump would cost.
AND, when I did not light the fire, but instead started loading on trailers for the dump, I heard some neighbors say "we thought he was about to burn that".
It turned out that tenant really sucked and I did not know it, I was using a sorry property manager at the time that I did not know how bad they were until it was too late.
Anyway, I am so glad my uncle gave me a heads up.
The neighbors there still called the county and I got a warning about people parking on the grass, while making repairs on that house, so yeah they were just looking for any way to mess with me.
And all along I had no clue how bad that tenant was, I was using a property manager.
Turns out that tenant had already let his power bill go, and was using a very loud generator 24 hours a day. Everyone in the area was looking to draw blood. And I never had a clue, until almost too late.
And I confess I am still worried about posting some stuff here I would like to share, because FUNNY!
When LTG was posting about the pumpkins, I started thinking maybe I could post more also.
I confess I was a tad afraid to post this decoy rib post, but at the same time there is no way it could ever be proved if I am just burning wood scraps during a burn ban with no intention of actually cooking.
And I hope this has also inspired others to think outside the box and look at loopholes for what you need to do.
JUST be very careful. If you get caught burning treated wood(any wood that is not natural tree waste), you can get a big fine. (I do not do that). (well, if no one is looking I may burn that pallet the last game came here on. ssshhh).
IF, around here anyway, they just see a scrap piece of a 2x4 or plywood, etc, you may get a fine of 1000.00 in the mail.
My uncle knows someone that has received one of these fines in the mail.
And another awesome reason I ran wood fence around my yard, so no nosy assholes can see what I do anyway.
It is always one thing or another out to mess up our day anymore.
And 100%, anyone that reads this should read their local codes before doing any outdoor burning.