Newton, NJ
As you all know, I lost my son Tommy to substance abuse last Friday. He had been drug free for the last 5 months but he relapsed and he lost his battle. I wanted to tell you all a little about my son. His mother and I split up when he was only about 1 year old. I am not really sure why but his mother left me. I was a part time dad for many years, although I had liberal visitation and I took full advantage of it. Tommy always preferred doing something or going somewhere over material possessions. Over the years, we probably went to more ballgames and visited more places than most fathers and sons do in a lifetime. He loved going to Rutgers football and basketball games the most. He loved to play baseball and he was a pitcher on the Kittitanny High School varsity baseball team.
When he was 11 years old he served as the best man at my wedding. I had him as my best man because he was my best friend. When he was 14, he moved in with us and lived with us through his first year of college. After his first year of college, he decided he wanted to move to San Diego and go to school out there. He lived there a couple of years but he eventually decided to move back to NJ. I am not exactly sure when his drug use went from smoking pot and occasionally getting drunk with his friends to using heroin but it was some time in the last 2 years. I don't know why he would ever try it in the first place but he did and it ultimately cost him his life. I had done everything I possibly could over the last 2 years to help him but he was not able to help himself. I spent the day with him last Tuesday and we had a good day. We hugged at the end of the day and he said "I love you Dad". I talked to him a few times after that and that was also the last thing I ever heard him say over the phone.
Tuesday night was his viewing and we had over 500 friends and family show up. His best friend Sean told me that Tommy had saved his life and he wanted to do the same for Tommy but he was not able to. Sean is not the person who introduced my son to heroin but he battled his own demons with a different drug but he recovered and he is going to law school this fall.
Yesterday was Tommy's funeral. It was the worst day of my life but like all days it was eventually over. I drew strength from my loving wife Michele, my beautiful little girl Madelyn and Tommy's sister from his mother's side Sarah. We had a wonderful celebration of Tommy's life after the burial at Dominicks Pizza, which is where he worked for a few years, making and delivering pizzas.
I posted the news of Tommy's death here the other day to let people know what had happened. I was not really not looking for sympathy but it helps to talk to people about what happened. I also wanted to let people know of my intentions of purchasing a Tommy pinball machine since he was named after Tommy the pinball wizard. The funds were not there to make a purchase but I figured I would sell or trade in order to get one eventually. I really was in shock when I found out that CRAIG had started a memorial fund for Tommy to purchase the pinball machine. He asked my permission first and I told him my intention was never to receive charity but I know how rewarding helping others can be. He emailed me last night to tell me that a Tommy pinball machine had been purchased and will be shipped to me. He has also let me know that over $1000 had been raised in excess of the amount needed to purchase the machine. I took the time this morning to read every post on the topic which took a couple of hours before I posted this. I must say that I am completely overwhelmed by the generosity and support I received from my fellow pinsiders. I will cherish the pinball machine for the rest of my life and will pass it on to my daughter after that. The money will greatly help my family pay for some of the funeral expenses. We had a $5000 insurance policy on Tommy that was purchased when he was born by my grandmother. I had forgotten about this until my dad told me about it yesterday. That still left about $8000 in expenses that we have put on our credit card. My ex wife was not able to help with the expenses but I know in time we will get the credit card paid off. The money will certainly help us get there faster.
I could not possibly think of a better way to honor my son than with this pinball machine that will sit in my basement bar for the rest of my life. You guys made this happen and I will be forever grateful as will my son Tommy as he looks down from heaven on all of us. When I play the machine, I will always have fond memories of playing pinball with my son but I will also always remember the act of human kindness that happened here. That is really what is important to me even more so than the pinball machine. My son Tommy was such a kind person and he had so much love for his father. I know this is the sort of thing he would have wanted to do. He would be so proud of that pinball machine. As for the poster, I think it is a great idea and I would want everybody who wants one to have a copy to hang in their bar or gameroom just to remind them to be thankful for their loved ones or to as a reminder to the difference we can make in other people's lives.
Once again I would like to thank everybody from the bottom of my heart and to thank God for surrounding me with so many wonderful friends to help me through this difficult time. Special thanks go out to Craig as well as surfsidedetail. Whether you contributed or just took the time to send out your condolences, I thank all of you. Sincerely with much love, Don Sienkiewicz
Vancouver, BC
Carlingford
Villejuif
