Never making the 50th post to make sure I’m at the top of the next page

Once spent ten minutes looking for a claw hammer that i'd just used minutes before.

The thing that made this one stick in my memory was that i'd been sitting on the concrete surrounded by the tools i was using, and i KNEW i hadn't stood up since i'd used it.

Similar to this, mine is leaving tools in the bottom of a pinball cab after i do something. One time i left my dewalt flashlight inside Rob Zombie. Turned on. Lol

I’m really good at not holding a grudge or taking offense. If I have an unpleasant encounter with someone the next time I see them it’s like it never happened. This might be in part because I’m really bad with names and faces, and basically have the memory of a goldfish.

My talent is automatically noticing every misspelling, grammar error, malapropism and incorrect punctuation on every piece of written communication I run across, without any effort or even desire to do so. It can be torture. I do try to limit any resulting comments to situations where I can inject some humor, but even then I get crap for it more often than not, so I generally bite my tongue any more.

I also have an unfortunate habit of deliberately mispronouncing certain words, which I think I picked up from watching too much Bugs Bunny when I was a kid. Just trying to be silly/funny, but I must sound stupid to anyone who doesn't know me. Examples: sammich, stragety, ornage, aminal, shlef

I think you meant anymore, not any more

Anymore: any longer, nowadays
Example: Harry doesn’t travel anymore.

Any more: something additional or further
Example: I don’t want any more cake.

My wife is like that. All of her books have spelling corrections. I keep telling her that she missed her calling as an editor.

It usually takes me at least 3 tries to plug in a USB connector.

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Seeing the forest for the trees.

It's more of a curse than a blessing. The statement "ignorance is bliss" is very applicable.

People often mistakenly attribute this to the new fangled technology like USB sticks, but the effect has been quite well known for centuries.

You'd have to try these in a lock at least three times each to find the correct one. Doesn't matter if there is only two keys on the ring either.

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Thanks, I was honestly unaware of the distinction. I take the time to look up things I'm unsure of while composing, but that one went under my radar.

Now, the difference here is that pointing out a mistake without any attempt at humor is just being pedantic. Were I to do this on every mistake I run across, it'd be a full-time job, and not funny at all.

Never said I was immune to mistakes myself. Thanks for that, right after I mentioned how I don't really do it anymore. But as long as we're correcting, you should use quotation marks when quoting, and the sentence needs a period.

This is not the confessional thread, but I confess I had to look up the meaning of pedantic Also, I consider most of my posts to be causal text so the internet says "If it’s in a casual text, or in a tweet (where every character counts), you can use the emoji in place of the punctuation."

I will concede the use of quotations for the previous quotes used. Also rest assured, the response was really meant to be humorous, as is this one and I hope no offense was taken. I also know better than to wrongly say it was an attempt at irony

He obviously REALLY wishes he didn't have that 'talent'.

I found the first post funny.

It was.

Then the life was sucked out of it like a spider with a paralyzed bug.

Yeah, guy bares his soul, so "ironically" point out an insignificant mistake. Hilarious.

Tempo is picking back up.

'bares his soul?' For fucks sake, lighten up brother.

I broke my foot playing golf. Unheard of said the doc

Did this fishing.

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Sarcasm . Just kidding , I love it ...

Hiding objects while zoning out. I have a knack that my wife hates, if the house is messy, I pick things up and put them in random hidey holes that dont make sense. I do this not intentionally, just trying to make the place look better.

Ever heard of hyperbole?

You know what? What's really funny about my "anymore" gaffe is that one of my pet peeves involves a similar compound word, "everyday." Drives me nuts when people use it to mean "each day." How on earth does one manage to slip by completely when the other hits such a nerve?

Um, you missed an apostrophe in "fuck's." Unless you meant more than one fuck, in which case it's "for fucks' sakes" so that there is a sake for each fuck! I prefer the abbreviation "FFS," which keeps it neat and ambiguous, no punctuation necessary.

I told ya it was torture...

Every time I’m driving, I spot dogs on the sidewalk and boobies..I can usually identify the breed, and wish the g friend wasn’t w me all the time in the truck..