OK so I actually discovered something new here. I had blinking bulbs in the bayonet sockets, and when I tried it with non-blinking bulbs they lit just fine. I also discovered a couple of the blinking bulbs had gone bad, in spite of being only a few weeks old.
So here we go:
I had blinking bulbs in the bayonet sockets for about a month and they worked just fine, until they didn't.
When I removed ~1–2 of the blinking bulbs, the others started working just fine.
Right now I swapped 1 blinking bulb for 1 regular bulb and replaced the bad bulbs, and now all is good.
But I have no idea why having several blinking bulbs in would work fine for a while, and then just...not work. No fuses blown, no random resets, no problems at all that I've seen, other than the bulbs.