just saw it. From all the slap stick humor right off the bat. It was cringe worthy. really bad. The pointless casino chase scene was drawn out and boring. After half of the movie was bored and just wanted it to end. character development was empty once again. I try to want to care about the characters, but they lost what little attachment you may have gotten from EP7. Action sequences all lacked any substance. There were some good parts, but not enough to save the movie. Just felt empty and unfeeling through the entire movie. the first half , made it so I stopped giving a shit for the second half. There was never a point, I was captivated by any of the characters.

This is how I felt after about 30 min into the movie. Felt this when "ghost" yoda showed up, rolling around with his feet in the air laughing as well. OMG, are you fawking kidding me? At some points it seemed like an SNL skit. And what's with the lack of character development in the SW universe (post 1983)? Every movie seems to have 2 dimensional characters that lack any kind of attachment for the audience. I know directors of today are capable of it. We see it in most of the super hero movies. Saw it in the LOTR franchise. ST has no problems making characters for you to associate and bond with....why not SW?

picard (resized).jpg

yes but not to that level. this was more like a fraggle rock yoda. And in ESB, yoda was putting on a front to hide his true identity. Once it was revealed, he was more serious.

it's not about being young again. It's about good movies and bad movies. EP1, 2 and 3 and this movie are just plain bad movies. Whether or not your young or old, you know a good movie from a bad one. None of these movies captivate the person watching it. Characters are 2 dimensional. Kids can feel it as well as adults.

The old movies were captivating because they were extremely well done. EP1, 2 and 3 will not stand the test of time and give the ones who were kids at that time, the same feeling like the original series did for us. It's like the BTTF series. Why does it bring back great memories? because they are awesome fawking movies that stand the test of time. Very well done. why doesn't the Troll series bring back those great feelings for people? Because they were not as good and troll 2 was deemed one of the worst movies ever made.

nevermind the fact that it was a waste of a powerful character. Like he couldn't have done that, as well as maybe do something constructive besides? And just dissipates his essence as a sacrifice? What ass. Just all around shitty lazy writing.

I know, I was expecting a good movie. Guess they showed me. How refreshing. Slapstick humor that's cheesy and out of place....thank god. Where were these directors of the gods in the past?

Here is a great little video about how disney effects the SW franchise and a little review into the buildup for TLJ. Some real in depth truth on how disney operates, and the future of SW.

red letter media reviews are better than the movies themselves. Last movie worth a shit from the SW franchise was in 1983.

Lucas even tried to fawk those up, with the special editions. That singing peanut character he put in jabbas palance in ROTJ, was the same cringe worthy bullshit that was in this (TLJ) movie. that's the kind of shit that started ruining the look and feel of the movies. Except SW, ESB and ROTJ had great character interaction. Character depth and chemistry. So the slap stick cheese he tried to ruin it with, wasn't enough to kill it.

Now when you have movies like EP1,2 and 3, which all characters lack any depth or chemistry and you try to get by with all special effects. You fall flat and the slap stick humor just makes it all that much worse. When you feel nothing for any of the characters and just wish they would all die so the movie could be over. You have failed as a writer and a director.

the penguin things were useless. Just disney feeling the need to put something cute in the movie so they can crank out toys kids want. Was the only point.

Plus, chewie wasn't used correctly in his little scene.

It would have been more fun and in character, if that penguin was watching him eat his mom or whatever relative it was, and chewie just stared at him as he took bites out.

i'm sure kylo should be able to see it, for the fact that he was his teacher and he's a blood relative. But this movie had so much lazy writting, i'm sure they will just dismiss it if it's not something easy for the storyline.

I wouldn't be surprised if the writer/director didn't get pissed off at disney for requesting, cute this and that, and require him to put in shit they can market. so that he purposely made a weak effortless script as a fawk you to disney. I'm sure they had him by the balls through the entire process, to make things marketable for many things. Just the way disney rolls.

oh, lets not forget how he suddenly turned into Storm from xmen as well, and used the lightning. If that's the case, why isnt' there an arsenal of indestructible dead jedi just fawking up the empire every time they try to do something?

I felt the same as luke as I saw this movie. I'm finished with the SW franchise. Actually I was done before EP3 came out, I did have hope again after EP7, but not it's out for good. Thank god we had some good movies with LOTR and some of the super hero movies.

the core movies are still some of the greatest movies ever made. I just pretend the others don't exist. My kid still hasn't seen EP1, 2 and 3.

3rd one was the worst out of all of them. they started shitty and got worse through the series. There were parts that were laughably terrible in it....pretty much the entire script from open to close.

you kidding me? This is oscar worthy compared to any dialogue from EP1, 2 and 3, or any of the "attempted" humor from these new movies.

technically it's not possible, unless they were spring loaded or something to launch them that direction. Which the way it was filmed, was not possible the way they portrayed it.

Oh god, please don't remind us of the other ways George tried his best to ruin the franchise before the year 2000. It's almost like he was pissed off at all the fans and went out to see how badly he could ruin the SW universe before fans got pissed off and left.

Lets not forget how, this tracking must be some super secret technolgy. yet fin and his new friend pull it out of their ass on how it must be done, thou he has no technical background at all, and was on garbage detail. yet, now on the drop of a hat, becomes Scotty in engineering. Lazy lazy lazy writing.

reading this reminds me of those (everything wrong with "such and such movie" in 50 seconds or less youtube video. Some of which are very entertaining.

and what a disaster that was. They try to push this love story that happens over a period of 8 hours. and all of a sudden have this ever lasting love affair. Same with Fin and poe. They escaped together, had maybe 30 min together. But when they finally see each other again, they blow it up over the top, like they are long lost friends that knew each other for years.

Then you have characters that have this build up to something, yet nothing every develops with them, and they get chumped out. like snoke and phasma. lets create these intriguing characters that are suppose to be powerful characters.....not use them , and just have them die off in easy pathetic ways.

Man, what great writing. Nothing like writing a script that doesn't challenge the director or the viewer in any way.

I don't know if they can fix it. It was almost like rian had a vendetta to destroy the building blocks JJ put in place. The only way he could have made it worse was killing off all the characters he brought into EP7. Including Rey and Kylo. that would have completed the F.U. then see what he does for Ep9.

but you think colored bulbs in the GI sockets is ok too..so there's that .

yes, but you have to have a certain believeablity to the movie too. To captivate you. there is a reason, Mission impossible 2 is deemed one of the worst movies ever made, while all the others are pretty awesome. It's because of the outlandish action sequences that are so far out of disbelief, that your mind just dismisses it as ridiculous. Same goes for character development. When you have characters introduce to each other, that have about 4 hours of interaction between each other. then try to throw in a deep love affair between those characters. The script is really expecting your mind to really dismiss a lot of things that should have been built up. They did that a lot in TLJ. Where they basically said...yes we know the timeline isn't working out, or....we know it's a stretch to believe this, but we are too lazy to make it more in depth, and we know the fans will buy into it, regardless. As long as disney can sell the merchandise, I get my paycheck.

I was too, because after about 30 min, I wanted to leave.

because Disney doesn't care how they screw things up, or if they turn the subject matter to shit. As long as people buy into it and they can sell a ton of merch off of it. They have no emotional investment in anything they seem to do.

that's why LOTR turned out so awesome, because the director was emotionally invested in what he was doing. Took the time to make sure things were right. Took the time to give you characters with depth and chemistry.

this alone, would cause me to never go to their site or believe anything they had to say. Anything higher than a D- or F, means they have no idea what they are talking about, or what elements are needed for a good movie.

if you would have told me in 1985, that there would be a day that Star Trek was wayyyyyyy better than SW. I'd tell you that you were insane.

yet, here we are. Cats and Dogs Living together...mass hysteria. ST series is awesome. SW series sucks ass. Who would have thought.

kevin smith [comment removed], I don't respect his opinion at all when it comes to SW.

yeah, well when I left the theater after ep 3, and was bitching how awful it was, some teen couldn't believe someone thought it was terrible.

Around here, you would be hard pressed to find someone that had something positive to say about this movie. Even ones who didn't think the prequels were the steaming pile of shit they were, knew this one was pretty bad.

the date on that tombstone is wayyyy wrong. Should be the year 2000.

couldn't get much worse. at this point. It's like......what would it hurt?

right on the money with this. It's what many of us have been saying from the moment we walked out of the theater.

what I dont' get from ep 7, is how did lukes fathers lightsaber even get back into anyones possession? Remember, it was in lukes hand, when it got cut off. Fell down the shaft of cloud city, and fell into space when the garbage chute opened and luke was left holding his nub.

dude.....quit giving people spoilers. you pretty much just laid out the entire movie. Some people havn't seen it, you know!

except, we already saw it leave cloud city and fall into the clouds in ESB. So we know it's nowhere to be found on cloud city. And why couldn't it just be lost? It's not like it's impossible to make anther one. Seems like people are making them left and right. Hell, Kylo made 3 of them into 1.

ick...that's his sister.

well, at least there would be some kind of love interest going on. Since disney seems to think that people shouldn't hook up anymore.

kylo gave him a mercy killing. So I guess he is good.

oh yeah. EP3 was a shitfest. There is so much of that movie that is dogshit, it's not even funny. TLJ is a piece of crap...don't get me wrong. But I wouldn't want lucas back in the chair either. Anything he's involved in, turns to shit as well. Look at IJ4. His Midas touch has turned to Poopies. He needs to stay in his little Special effects department, and never direct or be involved with the directing aspect with anything ever again.

really? mace? He is a good character? Really indepth written character?

Describe Mace Windu as to a person who has never seen star wars. (without describing physical features about them) If someone wanted you to describe him and explain his character. how would you word it?

so you are saying he's about as in depth as the emperors royal guards? Because both were about as useful.

this is where the prequels fails so miserably. None of the characters have any depth. Obi wan is the only one who has any personality at all, and the only way to describe him is.

A newly trained in the arts of "the force", tries desperately, to not take himself too seriously, as he finds himself trapped in a very very shitty series of movies. Uses humor the best he is allowed, to keep his mind focused elsewhere, and not to think to much about the script he is required to try and pull off.

I didn't see him guardian for anything or anyone. He was more like a bouncer at a bar, that decides if you can get in or not. The dude that checks your ID at a club, has about the same role as Mace. You don't know anything more about him beyond that. People look to him for his decision, that you are forced to assume is important, but nobody knows why.

Now, lets use this bouncer as an example. So far mace and the bouncer have similar backstories, as we know nothing about either one, and people are required to check in with them, to join their boy band. Got it. But lets take the bouncer. He gets off his shift. Goes home in his rusty POS pacer. Grabs a cold plate of french fries out of the fridge and sits down to watch friends.

Now we know more about the bouncer just from that scene, than we know about mace at all. We know the bouncer lives alone, doesn't make much money, doesn't eat properly, and can assume he's lonely.

hey, you are not suppose to describe physical attributes.

but jabba has a back story. You hear about him, you know why he's after han. You know he's a gangster. You know why he hired boba fett, and you understand what his character is and who he is, because of a nicely laid out storyline pieces.

actually, I thought that scene was really forced and completely out of the Vader character at this timeline. It was put in there solely for fan fluff. Not only was it out of place, but completely ruined the image of vader.

Remember, this is around EP4. This is not the jumping around like a grasshopper vader. this is barely a vader that gets his hands even dirty. Even the opening of EP4. Does he go raging in and clean the place out? No....sends in all his scrubs to do his dirty work. Looks around walks on through. Same with hoth. Troops do the work, he comes in and handles the captives. He's important, and above being on the front lines, plus he's old barely able to fight anymore. Obiwan fight scene anyone? He practically falls over his own cape and looks like he needs the wall, just to hold himself up. That's not a rage inferno through a hallway vader. Complete bullshit fan fluff.

indeed. We saw how well that would have went. Lucas is better if he's not allowed to direct. write the ideas, and let real directors take over and fix things he messes up. Reason ESB is so badass, is because Irvin Kershner is a character director. He's all about character development and the actors telling the story. The way it should be done.

Lucas himself has said it many times that he hates working with actors. If it was up to him, he wouldn't even use them. And you can see this in EP 1, 2 and 3 and the dialogue and acting is absolutely horrible. And it's not all the actors fault. it's the way lucas does things. Mainly the fact that nobody has a full script. He's so worried about leaks, that people have nothing to work off of. You get a snipet of something and suppose to create a character off that? Plus the characters are so 1 dimensional, that even the best actors in the world, could make those characters likable.

only because he's in a ship. That's the equivalent to an old guy riding around in a rascal. Which is at this age, what vader is best at.

true, but he doesn't have to be in shape to use it. I'm just saying there is a big difference between a fighter pilot, and the jumping ninja we saw in R1.

not only did she magically learn how to force pull, but she also learned how to make her own oxygen heat bubble instantly, in an unconscious state. Granted, there is a lot of unbelievable aspects to movies like this, but there has to be some level of believability to it, or your mind just dismisses it all as ridiculous. Which is what happened here to pretty much all of this movie.

and it's a better movie than what we just saw.

box office sales really doesn't say if a movie is good or not.

the twilight series is complete ass, and those earn well.

Yet a movie like, Momento is brilliant , yet didn't do shit in the boxoffice.

anyone that thinks this movie is anything less than the biggest piece of crap ever written, watch these. It's a step by step review of the entire movie. It's in 3 parts and worth it.

I challenge any of you that thinks this movie has even an ounce of redeeming quality to stand up for it after viewing all 3 parts of this full fledged review.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

There is a difference between rebooting something, and simply making just a bad movie, with no time and effort put into a script or story. That is the problem. They make movies and the primary focus is......Do we have things that are cute or look cool so we can sell toys and merch? Do we have scenes that look great, even though they don't make sense to the story, and blow out any reality to the situation? If both of these are yes. Then, they get the thumbs up to start filming. Assuming the audience is too dumb to notice the discrepancies. And in Disney's and the writers defense. 82% of the time they are correct.

what a dickhole. Small portion my ass. There is only a small portion that tried to defend this pile-o-shit. People who still lick the star of the SW universe no matter what. Like Kevin Smith. Whether or not you loved SW. there comes a point, where you should be able to tell a bad movie from a good movie, regardless of what universe it's told in.

Comparing TLJ or the prequels to the originals, isn't like comparing matchbox 20 to U2

it's like comparing U2 to Crispin Glovers solo music pieces.

If you never heard the works of crispin Glover, here is a sample. And there is much more where this came from.

I have the actual CD of this as well. This is the most normal thing on the entire disc. It goes way more out there, than this.

that's unfortunate. Seems anything with the SW name these days (since 1999) seems to be shit. Hopefully the SW name won't taint this movie as well.

yeah, that one was better than anything else we have seen in the last 20 years. But 1 out of 6 really doesn't really pull the scale.

the series was fawked way before disney took hold of it. Lucas started to destroy it in the 90's with adding a singing peanut and a awful jabba scene that didn't need to be there. Then finalized the nails in the coffin with a shitfest series that started in 1999.

yup, I 100% stopped giving a shit, and the only way i'm seeing any new SW release is if it's free in one form or another. I will not have anymore money going to the SW brand.

I hope you burned that movie. Because they don't deserve a dime for this piece of shit.

please. One piece of shit movie at a time.

and it wasn't well written or directed, as all the characters lacked any kind of depth. None of the characters in that movie, anyone gave a shit about. You didn't care who lived or died. Except maybe the imperial droid guy. Everyone else.....you are like..meh.

yes, yes it is. Least you know the laser blasts are just added for effect, because it's very boring with space battles being silent. Leia floating around like a cutout from a south park episode, just looks like shit and doesn't make sense as far as the story goes. So all around it's just an epic failure.

It's dead jim.

I know, you think he would have been more alert to being double crossed while having 2 infinity stones in his possession. After pull shenanigans himself, he should have been more prepared for thanos.

I plan on not seeing it ever, until I can do it for free where disney doesn't see a dime from me.

Just by the trailer, I can tell Disney didn't take the time to even do the timeline correct. Han is what?...like 18 or 19 in this movie? In EP 4 he's like 25-27. So within 7 years the Falcon went from looking like a brand new showroom, to a grimy dingy mess everywhere? Please. In order for it to be filthy, he would have had to have gotten somewhat broken in to begin with. If disney can't even take the time for easy details like that. You know it's going to be a straight up full blown piece of-Shit.

I am an expert in good/shitty movies.

You can tell disney took as much time with the script as they did for the other garbage they let out.

ok, look at it like this. Remember how the falcon looked in EP4? Remember EP5? Remember EP6? During that timeline, you have crossed about 10 years. Maybe more. During that time. The falcon didn't get dirtier at all. Looks exactly the same as it did in EP4. So a longer period of time, and no change. So just by comparison to the originals, It's fawked just from that. Whether you are an expert in grime or not. If you don't even take the time to stay consistent with your timeline. You know the script is going to lack the things we have seen out of disney's SW universe. Lacking character development, Character chemistry, and actions inconsistent with established characters.

space is not dirty. My walls in my house don't get wiped down but once every 5 years, maybe more. The walls and ceiling do not get filthy like that.

Just admit it. Disney's scripts and attention to detail are always piss poor when it comes to SW. We have seen some of the worst movies made under the Disney name.

that is true. But, you think every single inch of the interior is going to go from spotless to filthy in 7 years? I'm sorry, but my van and every van i've ever owned was at least 10-15 years old, and the ceiling and walls of the interior still look like new. Hell, even the carpet anywhere that's not the drivers seat looks like new.

thats probably the best way to describe Disney's SW universe. Should have been the name for The Last Jedi.

actually has nothing to do with any of that. You can tell a good movie from a bad movie. Whether or not you are a SW fanboy and try to overlook things because you cannot come to terms with a SW movie being complete and utter shit. you still have common sense to know bad writing. When you have no character development, it's a shitty movie. When you have characters that don't act well together, don't fit nor fit in the story you have written, it's a bad movie. When you focus more on special effect more than content of your movie. It's a bad movie. When you try and write a movie with established characters that have a long history, and try to force the audience to completely disregard everything they know about a character.. and just choke down what they write........wait for it....it's a bad movie.

Mission impossible 1. Great movie
Mission impossible 2...worst fawking movie ever made
Mission impossible 3. Great movie
Mission impossible 4 great movie

So, whether or not you are a mission impossible fanboy or not. You can still tell a piece of garbage movie. Regardless of what universe is attached to it.

just because ford was 34. The Han solo character was suppose to be 27 in EP4. That's where I got my number from. It's been talked about before in interviews and there was an article in the SW insider back in the middle 90's discussing this.

all of this. Except the opposite. In fact, i'll go see deadpool again on solo's opening night just to make a statement. Hell, I may do a twofer and see avengers again as well.

I was in the same boat. Luckily before EP3 was released. I sold everything I had and bought pinball machines instead. Never looked back. And my last name is Skywalker, and everything released past 83 is garbage in one way or another. The ESB special edition wasn't horrible in some way, so they managed not to fawk up that one, but the other special editions are garbage. And everything released since. EP7 was tolerable, only because of the hopes of where they would go with it, but that was an epic failure as we all saw.

If I could change time and make sure nothing is made for SW after 1983, I would have in a second.

this is spot fawking on. This is why nobody can truly defend anything in TLJ. You just can't. Trying to justify TLJ as a good movie, is like trying to convince people that pure water is soda.

I saw Quiet place, avengers and deadpool as well. Will not see Solo. I'm sure all 3 are going to be god's of movies compared to solo.

in all fairness to Transformers. Transformers 3 isn't a total piece of dogshit. It's the closest out of all the Michael Bay shitstorm, that has a story that would be closest to something from the TV show, cartoon movie or comic series. But all the rest were complete pieces of garbage and M.B. should be banned from directing. Hasn't the movie industry realized that, when you find directors that are actual fans of the subject matter they are filming, they pay attention to detail? Care about the script and direction the movie is going, and actually try to keep the feel of the movie in scope of the spirit of the subject matter?

no amount of showering can wash off the taint that SW has been covered with for the past 19 years.

could just change the name to SW shitfest. That way it will be universal.

welcome to the club. We have about 95% of the worlds population as members.

the fact that he referred to, "The Last Jedi" as a much better movie, had me totally disregard anything this guy had to say. The fact that he cannot tell a complete piece of trash movie from a good one.....has him lose all credibility. You can be a fan about something. But that doesn't mean you become a complete idiot, and lose the ability to see good from bad.

either we bitch about this, or see you idiots put Colored bulbs in your GI's and tell you what idiots you are for doing so.

nope, don't miss George either. One movie shittier than another, doesn't make the shit ones any better. It's all garbage. You need good directors that actually care about the project on it.

now this is a SW movie I would actually want to see.

It's not about true fans or feelings.

It's about good movies and bad. Doesn't matter what universe the movie is in. If it's a piece of shit, it's a piece of shit.

Bad movies have

No character development
No character chemistry
Crappy dialogue
Loops holes in the story
Characters act out of character to what has already been established
Useless scenes for camera fluff to show off special effects at the expense of the story
Scenes created just to sell merchandise but no real need to be in the movie beyond that.

maybe? I was done after EP2.

Except the Darth vader scene which was really out of place and out of character for that era of Darth vader. You can tell it was forced as fan service and ruined the continuity of what Darth Vader was at that time.

Exactly. There are good movies, and blatantly bad movies. The prequels and TLJ are blatantly bad. It's never been about nostalgia. It's about movies written and directed by someone that has a 10 year old mentality. Ooooo special effects. Things exploding. Lightsaber battles way overused. dialogue? who needs quality? Character development and chemistry? Nobody notices that in movies anyway. Characters acting in character? Nah, as long as it looks good on screen.

well someone gets very entertained by blinky things and xplooshuns.

the prequels also mishandled more than that. Did you forget about the midiclorian fiasco?

so the movie was only 15 min long?

Personally, I don't think they should have fired him. That's back when he worked for Troma. Troma is a totally different company and offput humor like that is something that is taken in stride. Fact remains, he makes some of the best superhero movies out there. For disney to fire him, is a huge misstep. Disney has been stepping in a lot of shit lately and probably should watch out which franchises they decide to shit on next. Or they might not have any resources worth a shit left. Who cares in general? You think if Tosh started directing movies, people would go back and slander past tweets of some crap he said? Probably, but should anyone give a shit? Not really. Only thing they should care about is if he's doing a good job at the job he was hired to do.

that was kind of my point. If it was so important, it should have been a problem from the get go. Not down the road after he already proved himself as a great director. Only becomes a problem if some shit goes down somewhere else and they are trying to make it look like they give a shit. Which we all know they don't. Only time they care is if the $$$ is in danger.