(Topic ID: 205155)

*SPOILERS* -TROS* Star Wars: TLJ is really bad & other Star Wars/Disney/Marvel

By InfiniteLives

6 years ago


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  • Latest reply 5 days ago by gdonovan
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    Topic poll

    “Star Wars: The Last Jedi was...”

    • garbage, the worst of the main films 243 votes
      34%
    • decent, better than the prequels 251 votes
      35%
    • really good, on par with the originals 80 votes
      11%
    • great! one of the best 80 votes
      11%
    • who cares, star wars sucks 55 votes
      8%

    (709 votes)

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    Post #2827 Analysis worth watching. Posted by gdonovan (5 years ago)

    Post #3520 Path to get Disney + discounted. Thanks @fosaisu Posted by fosaisu (4 years ago)


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    10
    #491 6 years ago

    Summary: The Last Jedi is a movie.

    Alternate Title: "The Last time I was this disappointed was when I found out there was no Santa Clause". Too disappointed to even write complete sentences ( or correct grammar for that matter) so here is a list of thoughts about this one in no particular order.

    1) Felt like watching a bunch of music videos strung together. scenes went absolutely no where and just "were".
    2) Careful Luke, don't use TOO much force ! Oh well, he died...
    3) Finally get to find out who Rey's parents are ! "Eh just some people, not really important..." But.. " I said its not important, gawd !"
    4) Can't wait to find out the mystery behind Snoke" Oh, he's just a random guy too" Well who is he? "doesn't matter..."
    5) Hey, lets make sure we show those stupid dice that we've never, ever seen before so when Han gets them in the standalone movie the audience will all go " OHHHHHH SO THAT'S WHERE THEY CAME FROMZ..!"
    6) New a-wings ! Bad-freaking-ass ! Oh they don't even do anything and all get wiped out when Kylo bombs the hanger ( see point 8). But hey, at least one of the pilots is a woman, right?? Yay diversity?
    7) Aw F-yea the successor to the B-wing ! Coolest looking "new ship" since can't even remember. Oh, but they suck ass, and move about as fast as a death star. By the way they have turrets, but they don't actually fire lasers. They're more for show. Hey, where are all those cool A-wings while the B-new-wings are getting ANNIHILATED..?? They are too busy staying the F away from them because apparently a B-new-wings worst threat is the B-new-wing flying next to it.
    8 ) Wow Kylo Ren's ship (looked great by the way and totally believable to be the interceptors successor) must be magical to fly through a f*cking force field around a capital ship and deliver a bomb strike to its hanger. ( RIP woman of a squadron who didn't really even fire a shot.. )
    9) Speaking of shields I guess forward deflectors are no longer cannon (no pun intended) because 2 shots from a couple of tie fighters completely destroyed the bridge. Killing Admiral Ackbar ( Fuck you Rian Johnson). On a positive note Nien Nunb is still around (much rejoicing).
    10) Leia scene..too easy
    11) First order is the most badass legion in the Galaxy ! Nope, turns out the are just pawns (along with the rebels) in a war game played by rich asshole aliens on a casino planet... Gotta make a political statement in a Star Wars movie I guess. Over 30 goddamn years or war because of casino aliens. Worst plot line since a trade embargo gone bad.
    12) Hey remember the Knights of Ren??? Yea, neither did Rian Johnson.
    13) This is gonna sound REALLY bad. OK Disney we get it, you are making up for lack of diversity in the first 3 films. Every cut in a scene is a never ending cycle of either a man and or a woman on a never ending carousel of races. Like that's cool and all and totally respect it, but goddamn is it detracting. You can do such a thing and not have it feel forced ( pun intended) and have it appear seemless with out pandering to your audience. It was like 160 minutes of Micheal Jackson's Black or White video...
    14) There are too many side characters I don't give a shit about who have way too much back story, and talk too much. See the "Firefly" affect. Rose, ROOOOOSE ( You know the orphan plumber / lower deck security guard who knows WAY too much about tracking through hyperspace...) has more back story then freaking SNOKE did. Remember him? The supreme leader of the New Order who was able to manipulate 2 force sensitive people undetected...He's not important, lets just Darth Maul him...

    Honorable mentions: Cool things that fizzled out

    - Rey entering "the dark side" started out pretty cool, but ultimately went no where. ( like most of this movie)
    - Awesome there's Luke's X-wing ! Don't care how cheesy it would of been but Red 5 should have came in and took out a few Gorilla walkers In Battle of Hoth 2 before ultimately being shot down. Luke could then crawl from the wreckage to confront Kylo.
    - He looks its asshole Yoda ! Too bad he only acted that way to test Luke after which his demeanor remained serious throughout the rest of the films.
    - Rey and Kylo being ultimate badasses and fighting "imperial" guards. OK not TOTAL ultimate badasses since they both forgot how to use force push, pull, jump, and crush at a critical moment for some reason. This scene had everything going for it. Soooo much wasted potential. You have 2 confused, young, force sensitive people looking for answers both finding someone to confide in. Light understanding the Dark and Dark understanding the Light and THEN... well, nothing really...

    I think the worst part of all is I really don't even care to see episode 9. Like most scenes towards the end of this movie felt like they should have been in the third one. I honestly have no idea where they could possibly go when this movie basically resolved the story arc of the trilogy. There's probably more I'm missing, but I have a head ache now. I wanted to like this movie ( I still do) but goddamn Rian Johnson just Valerian-ed me...

    #494 6 years ago
    Quoted from gdonovan:

    Actually if you look close in the original Star Wars you can see them, takes a sharp eye though.
    They were a nod to George Lucas' first major film success, American Graffiti.

    That's probably true, But I guarantee they play a HUGE role in the Han Solo movie. They made sure to focus on them like 3 separate times because if they only did it twice, today's ADHD youth wouldn't remember.

    #495 6 years ago
    Quoted from bigehrl:

    everyone, it's just a movie!! an excuse to get out of the house and eat popcorn. it's designed to make you escape from real life, not compare it to it.
    anyway, i thought it was fun.

    My life ( grounded in reality) is more fantastical and coherent than this movie...

    #520 6 years ago
    Quoted from roffels:

    Counterpoint. I am a Star Wars fan, and I like movies to give me something I didn't expect. This movie was made for the fans. Not all fans have the same taste.

    Fans wanted to find out who Rey's parents were [ACCESS DENIED]
    Fans wanted to know more about Snoke [ACCESS DENIED]
    Fans waited 2 years to see what Luke had to say [ACCESS GRANTED - Insert Lame Joke]

    I absolutely HATE the "Real Fan" arguments. You can be a fan of something and admit when they made a misstep. This movie was a pretty big mistake in the franchise. Now J.J.A has to spend most of episode 9 fixing the problems with the canon introduced by Rian Johnson. I hope they make Ep.9 a 2-parter cause its going to take like 4 hours to undo what's been done...

    -1
    #601 6 years ago
    Quoted from TheFamilyArcade:

    Say what? He was cut in half! How can (did?) he survive that? And if he did, well then truly anything is reversible in the Star Wars universe and this hubbub over the TLJ is much ado about nothing. It’ll pass and mistakes will be rectified.
    Look, to me, Star Wars is the movies, and that’s it. The EU is like an “alternate universe” to me, and not the real Star Wars. The sprawling EU offers up too much, from too many perspectives (and agendas?).
    Im sure it’s not, but my instinct also tells me it’s kinda random, so not part of the “Skywalker Saga” that I love. I understand that for many the EU might be the best part of the whole shebang, but it seems a bit overwhelming, not to mention a huge commitment.

    Maul was essentially cauterized when the light saber cut him in half. As for the fall, Luke had a similar fall during Empire in Cloud City. So it's not that far fetched.

    #612 6 years ago

    Han Solo had NO redeeming qualities untill he met Luke and Obiwan. Even then he wasn't a decent human being until the end of ANH. So basically Disney decided to make a stand alone movie about an asshole pirate gambler...OK?

    #648 6 years ago
    Quoted from TheFamilyArcade:

    Maybe he was just force projecting death. It was a set up with Kylo the whole time, to play with Reys emotions.
    Darth Maul “cauterized”? And that preserves his life how exactly?
    Speaking of Luke’s fall, the Emperor fell the same way, and we know from Anakins dive/fall/fly in Episode ll that this is possible. So is the Emperor alive?
    Maybe no one dies in Star Wars anymore, except non force using expendables like Han.

    Not only did the Emperor fall, he also force exploded. Then of course the death star part 2 also exploded on top of that. He could be floating through space with a broken hip though...

    #649 6 years ago
    Quoted from benheck:

    Wow she hit the nail on the head.
    I just want a movie where things make sense. 3 of the dumbest things involved Finn and Rose their plot should never have happened:
    1) They're about to be executed, blades drawn, the explosion saves them. All the armored soldiers around them are dead, and Phasma has (for some reason) teleported 100 yards away. Wtf?????
    2) Rose not letting Finn sacrifice himself. I guess so they can have a love triangle? But can that happen? Disney seems to have a "no romance" policy across all its films now.
    3) Somehow Finn drags Rose back to base, across miles of terrain, faster than their ships took them in the first place, without being killed by 10 Walkers with "Leave no prisoners!" Orders.

    This exactly ! Is it too much for to ask for movies to make sense?? If this was a stand alone film fine, whatever, but its part of a trilogy that didn't really continue the story from part 1.

    Also romance is weak. Can't have a woman falling for a man anymore. That's sexist. We need characters like Ros(i)e the plumber (riveter) who don't need no man !

    #651 6 years ago
    Quoted from Geocab:

    If Leia could do it....

    Fucking Rian Johnson...

    Oh also how could I forget. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO C3PO'S RED ARM???!

    #745 6 years ago
    Quoted from Astropin:

    I totally agree. It almost feels like a vendetta against JJA. Anybody know anything about that?
    How does Abrams feel about TLJ ...really feel?

    Does it really matter how he "feels". He'll just spew some B.S. that is good for the franchise. You can't truly express your opinions in Hollywood else be black listed. See the Mark Hamill crap above. Just at look how George Lucas described Disney as "White Slavers" then magically changed his tune and is now "playing nice" with each new film release. All a bunch-a-noodles !

    #773 6 years ago

    We should all just chip in and make our own Star Wars movies... With black jack and hookers !

    1 week later
    #1003 6 years ago
    Quoted from kvan99:

    I don't want to get into the Prequel VS TLJ argument but I have to say I love the clip where Hamil says "Remember kids, in Hollywood, it's not important if it's of high quality only if it makes money". He hates both of these films, hates them I tell ya....Lol.
    Ok I'll say one thing about the prequels Lucas was woefully out of practice, he hadn't directed anything for a while, also it was a new dawn in movie making with CGI he was too focused on how the movie looked rather than story...that's my opinion. With that said the last one was (in Larry David's voice pretty, pretty good.

    Part of the problem with the prequels was George Lucas pretty much had complete freedom to do what ever he wanted without a group of people to wrangle his crazy ideas into a coherent script. Just look up the original concepts for Star Wars. Who knows, maybe a lizzard Han Solo would have been cool..?

    #1006 6 years ago
    Quoted from TheLaw:

    Jedi's are the cops and Mace Windu is the shitty luitentant. Not the loud one that you enjoy in cop comedies, but the shitty one that does nothing.

    "DAMN IT OBI WAN YOU'RE OFF THE FORCE ( ). HAND IN YER BADGE !.."

    1 week later
    #1280 6 years ago
    Quoted from InfiniteLives:

    broom kid is actually Finn and Roses love child in the new one where when they fast traveled they altered the space time continuum and they obvi boned and the baby flew thru a worm hole and ended up in the stable a few years older and with force. duh

    Broom kid will wind up being the first non-binary / transgender character in the SW universe. He'll probably also have autism and be allergic to peanuts just to make sure all bases are covered. Whoops, this character already has more back story than Snoke...

    2 weeks later
    #1337 6 years ago
    Quoted from racer_x:

    Wouldn't have dreamed this a couple of months ago...
    "After cleaning up during 2017’s holiday season, [Jumanji]—not ‘Star Wars’—is now crushing it in January"
    https://www.theringer.com/movies/2018/1/22/16919472/jumanji-january-box-office-success

    We're one step closer to "Ass: The movie"...

    #1344 6 years ago
    Quoted from master_of_chaos:

    Please reboot EP 8.

    This. If we are lucky Episode X will open with Luke Skywalker staring into a snow globe...

    #1371 6 years ago
    Quoted from fosaisu:

    That’s why it’s a teaser! Glad to see that Woody Harelson’s comb-over was prominently featured though.

    He's got an Ernie McCracken thing going on there...

    #1387 6 years ago

    Everyone knows Han won the M.F. in a truth telling contest 2 towns over...

    #1424 6 years ago
    Quoted from kvan99:

    Hey, let's write an outline. Ok, so we have a youngling Jedi that was spared when Vader killed them all. A few years later he joins the Imperial forces, only to get close enough to Vader so he could kill him. The young man shows remarkable talent and is picked for the death squad troopers. While in training the young hero meets his rival, an ambitious high born imperial officer who is determined to be Vader's apprentice......
    Sounds good so far? I just made that shit up sitting here on the sofa fanning my balls.

    Damn reading that gave me an idea. They should have made Snoke one of the younglings that survived Anikin's attack but not without being hideously scar'd.

    3 months later
    #1885 5 years ago
    Quoted from hassellcastle:

    Reading through the pages and agreeing that TLJ should have been titled “Chewbacca Farts”. LOL
    I’m actually trying to figure out what the abbreviation SJW stands for?

    Stands for Social Justice Warrior. Basically a person that believes everyone should be treated equally unless you are a male...

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