sounds like the switch you were having issues with isn't closed when the game over relay is reset/untripped ... or the reset relay is still powered.
tmi below
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when you turn the game on, if the game over relay is not already tripped it should immediately trip.
if it doesn't, check switch on lock relay with yellow and green/red wires. Should be closed when lock relay unpowered.
you're right that the flipper button is one way to power the lock relay. If you use the flipper button, at this point some lights come on but the game over relay is still tripped.
time for a coin or replay button push. The score reels reset and the game over relay should be reset (untripped). The reset relay should be unpowered.
once the reset relay unpowers, the outhole relay should be powered and the outhole kicker sends the ball over to the shooter.