Around 10 years ago my aunt died from cancer BUT I remember one thing she said. She said she was less afraid of dying than dealing with her every day anxiety and depression. The mind can be a powerful thing.

I appreciate his family putting that out there and hope it can do some good and help others. We all need to do more to help those who are struggling.

Thank you for sharing, my condolences on the loss of your sister.

After losing too many friends to mental health issues over the years, I lost my older brother to the same several years ago. At that time, I learned just how many people were grieving for loved ones that passed in this way - it is, tragically, far too common.

As you have said perfectly:

These thoughts and feelings occur extremely frequently. In fact, they will likely never leave. I take solace in what good memories exist, when I can.

I'm so sorry to know that Lyman suffered from these issues.

Thank you to Penni and Lyman's family for the courage to add that to the obituary, and again my deepest condolences.

For those that suffer: please know that you have worth and are important in the world - more people care about you than you know.

Devastating news.

I'd just add to those who were close to Lyman: Do not blame yourselves for a decision that was not your own. Especially Penni. I lost a close friend and struggled with guilt for YEARS until I finally came to the realization there was nothing I could have done to change the outcome.

Don't do that.

Guilt over someone else's actions is bullshit.

Saddened to know how much he must have been hurting

I've had numerous relatives involved as first responders over the years and the one thing I will never forget more than one of them telling me was how many suicides and attempted suicides our town has every year. I think my son's comment was, "the numbers would blow you away."

You'll rarely read about it in the paper so most aren't aware it's happening unless it happens to someone you know.

Thank you to Penni and Lyman's family for mentioning in in the obit. No one learns from something that's hidden from view or swept under the rug.

RIP, Lyman.

I'm so very sorry to hear that Lyman passed away by suicide and thank the family for mentioning it in the obituary. Far more attention needs to be brought to mental illness and suicide.

5 years ago I lost an uncle to suicide, him and I were very close. It hurts like hell having him gone and has affected my entire family in a big way. This is someone who you would never think would do such a thing. He was strong, and had an amazing positive attitude. Little did the family know just how much he was hurting. Looking back there were signs he was hurting, he said things to family that looking back now were warning signs.

I'll say this, take any warning signs seriously. If someone says to you "I'm hurting", "I'm depressed", talk to them, go see them. If someone you are close with becomes distant follow up with them. If someone is talking about or trying to harm themselves get them help, tell their spouse or kids as once a person is gone there's no second chances. There are situations where a family member can even be committed by another family member, don't feel bad doing it as again look at the alternative.

Well said. It seems to be the case all over the world, it definitely is here in Australia. When someone commits suicide, it's hushed up, not reported in the news and very few hear about it unless they have some connection to the family or emergency services. Perhaps it's done in respect for the family and loved ones, left up to them to disclose if they wish. This needs to change for change to occur. The spotlight needs to be shone on depression and anxiety, help is needed, not covering it up due to the fear of shame, dented pride or social standing.

RIP Lyman sheats
My brother passed away in 2006 from suicide, so this hits way too close to home. There is often no answers in these kind of situations, so it makes it very hard for anyone involved and the feeling of wishing you could have done something to help is overwhelming.
But it does help me read this forum as there is a lot of people affected by this silent epidemic. Truly some great people in the pinball community and no one is immune from mental health issues/depression. Sometimes we all need a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on, just being there for someone you know struggling can make all the difference.

This times a thousand. Lost a brother to suicide and it's easier said than done not to blame yourself. Suicide of a loved one is a terrible thing to go through as you will torture yourself thinking what you should have done to help more, especially the last moments. Honestly, it's the friends and loved ones that people need to focus on now and make sure that they are okay -- I'm sure they spent many years trying to help and it's devastating to feel like you failed even though it's not the truth and everyone on the outside can see that. Everyone did the best that they could do to help -- you can always imagine ways you could have done more (and you will, constantly) but at some point if a person has battled with this for years you have to accept that there was nothing that anyone could have done. Take care of yourself! Lyman has no more worries, make sure you do everything you can to get the help you need to get through this for the sake of your loved ones and family.

This is a personal cause near to my heart.
Please reach out to somebody if you ever need to talk.
You always have a friend!!

We should never lose anybody to this again.
Reach out and talk.

“Never, never, never give up.” ― Winston Churchill

Please feel free to share this image as you see fit.

LFS Suicide Awareness Ribbon.gif

If someone makes these I’ll help fund the project.

This is a good article on talking about mental health and removing the stigma.

https://ideas.ted.com/how-should-we-talk-about-mental-health/

RIP LFS…. Thank you for your genius!

R.I.P.

Like many, suicide impacted my family when my brother took his own life in 2014 at 40yrs of age. It's so hard for the survivors as we always think what we could have done differently. Healing and understanding does come with time but ultimately there is a forever hole in out hearts. Suicide and mental health can and should be openly discussed without social stigma. I thank the honesty of Mr. Sheats family.
R.I.P.

Such sad news about it being suicide. That really hits home.

I wish there was a way he could have seen everyone's comments about how they valued his friendship and his impact on their lives before he passed.

We, as people, need to be better at letting those we care about know how much they mean to us.

Tragic about Lyman and tragic stories shared here.

There are only a few pinball friends that I've shared this with, but I'll share it here in case anyone reading needs to hear it and if it helps break any stigma. I, like many many people, have struggled with mental illness. I tried for over a decade to fix it myself by reading hundreds of books and articles and trying everything I could find, from "science stuff" to "hippie stuff" and everything in between. I didn't want to go see a doctor because of the stigma, because it felt like getting help was "weak", etc. It slowly kept getting worse and I finally had to give up and go see someone, even though I had very low expectations and thought there was maybe a 10% chance going to someone would help.

A couple months later after getting some meds worked out, my life completely changed for the better. I can't even explain how much better I felt (and still feel). I felt like an idiot for waiting 10 years before seeing someone. And yet I still didn't tell anyone for a couple years after I was better due to the stigma and somehow feeling ashamed or embarrassed.

But I don't feel that anymore at ALL. I learned there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed OF. Now I feel proud that I went to get help (and you should too if you do the same), even if I was 10 years late doing it. And I felt obligated to share it here if it could help.

If you ever find yourself struggling, there ARE people that can help and meds that can help! Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk. There is ALWAYS hope.

What a great testimonail! Thank you for sharing your experiences.

Really appreciate you sharing your story. I long for the day when mental illness is treated more like physical illness without any of the shame that is often attached to it.

I don't know how this applies here for others or if you consider it relevant but it is just a story that resonated with me a long time ago.

I watched a tv news casted story about epilepsy where a father was interviewed about his son who had epilepsy. The son had epileptic seizures and his Father had taken care of him during those episodes. The interviewer said something to the effect, "If you had one wish I bet it would be to cure your son of this affliction". The father said, "I would not want to make that decision for him as when my son comes out of the episodes and is healthy for a time, during that time he has as intense a love and appreciation for life that seems rare. I would not want to take that away from him."

I think like that when I am ensconced in bad stressful situations with seemingly no end, the tunnel is dark but at some point the light at the end will get reached and it seems even brighter when that happens. Darkness and light are both part of the experience. Other people can be inspiration and affirmation of this.

Very much this. It's hard to understand what these people are going through with a healthy mind. You can be surrounded by loved ones, great family, great job, successful, be getting professional help, taking meds, etc. and still be in a dark place. Such a terrible disease. Hopefully those that are close to Penni can be there to support her and just be there for her. Maybe treat everyone with a little more patience and kindness. You never know what anyone is going through.

I'm absolutely devastated by the news of this and the circumstances. Devastated.

I only hope that somehow, Lyman knows how much he was loved and admired by us in the hobby, and elsewhere. Your legacy will long be remembered friend.

Indeed! What works for one person, doesn't always work for another. This is especially true if it's medication induced (ex: antidepressants). One moment they feel fine and the next moment, the thought travels in the back of their mind.

My dad committed suicide 6 years ago after many years of fighting depression. The side effects from the antidepressants he took didn't appear until many years later. The problem was that I didn't notice any warning signs. He said he felt great and then on one morning, he told me he wasn't feeling well (looked a bit feverish). After getting home from work, I found his body in the garage.

Well said and a great reminder . Thanks LTG

This resonates. Thanks for sharing. I don't want to make this about me, but I experienced severe depression for 7 years. When you've felt so bad for so long, it's hard to imagine not feeling that way - you think you'll feel that way for your entire life.

I wish I could say there was an epiphany, or something profound that snapped me out of it but there wasn't anything, just one day I realized I no longer had the constant barrage of suicidal thoughts, dread of life, and intense anxiety and sadness. I was filled with an intense contentment that I had not felt in many years. I'm only sharing so that if anyone else may be reading, please have some hope that things can get better.

My condolences to Lyman's family and friends, and thank you to everyone else sharing their experiences on how depression and suicide effected you and your loved ones.

If anyone reading this ever needs someone to talk to, about anything, anytime, day or night, please reach out to me. I'd love to talk to you.
This is absolutely devastating.

After reading more in the forum and seeing the out pouring of support for Lyman and other stories like it I just wanted to post a link that I found today that has some great quotes about the subject and healing.

Reading some of the different stories for different pinsiders really makes us all better people. I showed some of them to my wife plus this link. Musicans, movie stars, tik tock stars, kids being bullied at school...it is heart breaking.

Here is the link

https://dying.lovetoknow.com/words-comfort-after-death/30-suicide-quotes-encourage-understanding-awareness

Hope it helps someone....

No I can’t believe what I just read.
Prayers for those close to him.

So very sad. So very very sad.
We're all going to miss him.
Events that we'd see him at in the past will never be the same.
RIP Lyman.
--
Chris Hibler - CARGPB #31
http://www.ChrisHiblerPinball.com/Contact
http://www.PinWiki.com - The Place to go for Pinball Repair Info

His family is incredibly brave for coming forward and being open about his struggles. I am glad we (as a society) are finally getting beyond the stigma to understand that it is OK to say you hurt and need help. I just wish it would never have to come to this point for him and for so many others. The stories are heartbreaking.

May his family find comfort in his memory; may he finally find peace.

Godzilla .90 just released and I noticed this nice touch scrolling through my high scores
483CE0D4-5A89-4904-A219-40331D6D7DCD (resized).jpeg

I found out Lyman sheets death was a suicide today. I wanted to reach out to everyone here regarding the subject of suicide.

Please allow my digression/ personal story.

As many of you might know, in the past six years I survived a stroke and 3 brain surgeries.

As a result of this, I have suffered some massive depression. I believe everyone who has these types of surgeries goes through this to some extent or another. As I got better I joined online forums for traumatic brain injury and stroke survivors.

About every four to six months a loved one would announce the fact that the person they knew or
Loved Had committed suicide. It was presented in multiple ways. But ultimately, the t b I survivor could not deal with it anymore, and committed suicide.

This seriously scared me as I struggled through my own personal nightmare.

As I flashed forward and continued my own personal struggle, I watched a couple people who seemed to have everything in life commit suicide. Chris Cornell, singer of sound garden and also a member of linken park for instance.

Basically, I want make sure everyone knows they can reach out to me regarding their feelings.

I believe we all need to be there for each other, please let’s be there for each other.

Rest In Peace lymon. Truly.

.

Knowing him we’ll probably discover many things in his games for years to come.

Between the stroke and the surgeries it’s great to have you here with us.

I also went through some brain injury issues back in 2015 and had some complications back in 2019. The 2019 part caused me to stay awake for 4 days straight with some 30 minute areas of naps. I honestly didn’t think I was going to survive it. When you are awake that long your brain can do some very interesting things and thoughts you’ve never had before can happen.

I was lucky to get some serious medication to fall asleep which I needed for 3 months and then had to switch to something else to get off of it.

Today I still deal with some issues as many locals know. Thankfully it’s mostly minor physical stuff and I don’t take any medication anymore…for now.

I’m very very careful with alcohol too and even if you haven’t been through something in life alcohol can also have a profound impact on your brain especially if you try to stop. It’s sneaky like that. I still enjoy beer and scotch from time to time

Huge respect to the family for being open about what happened. 9 out of 10 times everyone goes silent and you never really know, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

I lost a childhood friend to suicide, buried him last winter. I don't know if our words can change anything or even help, they're in so much pain that we can't understand. In his case he planned it for over 5 years, it was inevitable. After I worked through the anger I was slightly relieved the he wasn't in pain anymore.

Lyman, such a talented guy. Even though his life was shorter than it should have been, he achieved so much and was so respected.

Awesome tribute by Keith and company. Seems like they did a code update today just for this!

I have 5 pins he’s coded and won’t likely be selling them ever he was a genius.

I hope this always stays in the code.....

In my early 20’s, I struggled mightily with panic attacks and agoraphobia. I didn’t know what was happening, so I felt like I was going crazy. I drank heavily, and I remember telling myself at 22 that the only thing that mattered was to get through the year alive. I was lucky to find a talented therapist, who was also a Vietnam vet who had recovered from PTSD. He gave me the roadmap to my own recovery, and at the same time I started taking meds that turned my life around. I still take Prozac now, and I’m not ashamed of it. I’ve been a successful telecom engineer for 30+ years, and I hope to retire by 62.

In December, my beautiful goddaughter (20) went into the hospital for a month, for depression and self-harm. I want her to know that “it gets better!” is not just an empty promise. I know that my anxiety is easier to treat than her depression, but I want to believe that I can reach her. I’m going to call her this weekend, now that she’s back home. I love that kid and I’d be devastated if we lost her.

My heartfelt sympathies to Lyman's family and friends. And a most sincere appreciation towards the family for sharing the circumstance of Lyman's passing. I wish I knew him. Lyman often smiling in pictures, his unique player stance, and ace coding & ruleset skills is how I'll remember him.

My wife took her life over twenty years ago, leaving behind beautiful 8 & 6 yr old daughters from a previous relationship and our 3 yr old son.

It has been a hard road for me. And truth be told I probably would have taken my own life, except I couldn't do that to the kids. Because of friends, therapy, and a bit of pinball, I am in a much better place now. Love spending time with the grandkids.

I trust that all of you wonderful people who are part of the community Lyman touched will love one another through this present difficult time. Cry and laugh and cry some more. And please reach out more than you think you need to, whether extending a hand or asking for help.

Rest in peace Lyman.

And you absolutely should not be; just as someone shouldn't be ashamed of using insulin or blood pressure medication.

Mental health is a topic that is so unfairly stigmatized, but people often forget (or don't realize) that mental illness is a disease just like any other. The brain is an organ that gets sick just like the liver or kidneys do, and we have to treat it as such. It's not so simple as telling someone to "cheer up" or "stop being sad." This is a topic that strikes a chord with me, as I've lost family members to mental illnesses as well.

My heart breaks for all those affected, and I send my deepest condolences to his family and friends.

Good for you and thank you for sharing. Many people struggle with depression, anxiety, or other mental issues. Unfortunately, they are still stigmatized to a certain degree in our society, particularly amongst men.

These issues are often genetic or predispositions some are born with like any physical disease and not something people need to hide or be ashamed of. The important thing is doing what you did and acknowledging it, seeking help, and taking the steps to manage just like any other chronic medical or health condition.

Many highly successful people and historical figures like Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchhill struggled with depression and anxiety issues throughout their lives. As this thread demonstrates, Lyman Sheets was revered and loved by so many in this hobby and industry. So sad that the demons he likely was battling in his mind probably didn't allow him to fully realize his self worth and just how talented, appreciated, and needed he was.

My sincere condolences to all of Lyman's friends and family. I'm still in shock.

I have an odd LFS sighting: It was probably about 10 years ago at one of John Dayhuff's Annual 12 Hours of Pinball Parties. From my recollection, I think the party had just recently just started, so it wasn't too long after noon, and the crowd wasn't too big yet and you could still move around easily. My friend and I were kind of in our own little world playing a competitive 2 player game, and we finished, then I heard a sound I don't hear too often, and that is Dracula (from BSD) yelling either "Twenty Million" or "Thirty Million" (my memory is fuzzy), so I look down the aisle to see who the heck is killing it on BSD, and there's a guy with that a one of a kind crouched stance playing BSD. It's freaking Lyman Sheats!

I can't believe what I'm seeing, so I blink and look again, but he's still there, so I'm not imagining it. So I hit my buddy in the arm and I say look at this, do you know who this guy is? I then told him that it was Lyman Sheats and he programmed my favorite games of all time, and I can't believe he's here, although Battle Creek MI is not too far from Chicago. My friend told me I should get an autograph, but I told him I didn't have anything for him to sign, and I didn't want to bug Lyman while he may be here enjoying himself, so I didn't say anything to him. I didn't see Lyman again, so maybe he left early. I now regret that I didn't tell Lyman that I absolutely loved the code on everything he ever did, and tell him thanks for all the countless hours of joy he brought me and others.

Rest in Peace (or Rest in Pinball) Lord of Software.

The service starts in about 30 min.
https://www.morizzofuneralhome.com/obituaries/Lyman-Sheats/#!/PhotosVideos/00000000-0000-0000-0000-000000000001/WebcastVideo