(Topic ID: 218663)

Rest in peace, my beautiful wife

By Edenecho

3 years ago

Topic Heartbeat

Topic Stats

  • 278 posts
  • 221 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 4 months ago by Edenecho
  • Topic is favorited by 2 Pinsiders


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There are 278 posts in this topic. You are on page 6 of 6.
#251 2 years ago

I just came across this, wow that is so terrible on so many levels. You know its hard enough to find a partner in life, and sometimes you realize you don't have much in common. But to find someone you connect with on every single level, like your best friend in the entire World that is hard to find and virtually impossible to replace. What you're going thru has to be very hard, but lucky for you it seems she lives on thru both of your passions for pinball. It also appears you have a lot of support from this community. Life can be very unfair and even downright brutal... but I have no doubt every time you hit a jackpot she's right there with you! So sorry for you brother but one day you'll play a game together again! Trust me!

1 month later
#252 2 years ago

I read and appreciate all the words here, so thankful!

This coming saturday 20th July, I am having a memorial tournament for her, actually 2 tournaments, one early and one later in the evening. I have bought some trophies which has the outline from her great pinball pose, so the winners will be able to take something memorable home. I will also do an honest attempt at streaming the qualifying and the finals at RedRoomPinball on twitch Link to come.

The games are set up and ready Now just hoping for the GOT code to come before the weekend!

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1 week later
#253 2 years ago

The memorial tournament was a real success, lots of nice players and a good atmosphere of remembrance
Here are the winners from the second tournament that day, me to the left winning the 2nd place

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#254 2 years ago


#255 2 years ago

Such a great story built upon a tragedy. Congrats on the 2nd place, and more importantly, well done on a fitting remembrance.

#256 2 years ago

So sorry... the pinball stance trophies were a great idea!

2 weeks later
#257 2 years ago

I truly admire your chin up approach. It is not only refreshing, but inspiring!

#258 2 years ago
Quoted from RonSS:

I truly admire your chin up approach. It is not only refreshing, but inspiring!

Dont know if "Thank you" is the right answer, but it means alot to me that you feel it is inspiring.
Of course, I have really bad moments in between, thinking about her every day, and some days it feels almost hopeless to get through. But it helps me doing things and organizing events in her memory, and also getting back to work, music and pinball and friends makes the days pass better.

#259 2 years ago

Sorry to hear about your loss and what a nice way to honour her!

6 months later
#260 1 year ago

I am going through the days,weeks and months, working 60 - 80 % as much as I manage, and life is in its way going forward. What really gives me energy and a feeling of being alive, is actually competitive pinball tournaments. Thats the only time I am 100 % in the here and now, in the world under glass. The exitement, the nerves, the anger, it all boils down to competitive pinball.

This weekend I am arranging another memorial tournament, and players from sweden and finland are coming, as well as ppl from different parts of norway.
Hopefully we will not cancel because of Corona, we will see the next days but as of now I hope to run it. We will be max 25 - 30 players so..

I got some personalized trophies for the three tournaments, and will supply additional prizes with some austrian wine and some rock and morty and game of thrones (both of which she loved) prizes. Scattering photos of her life and friends around the prize table. Looking forward to this!

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#261 1 year ago

The Corona Virus can't stop the world my friend, just delay it a bit it seems. Sooner or later people will come around again, and if they can't, I'm certain it will be with great regret. Stay strong, and chin up!

#262 1 year ago

Just seeing this thread now, my condolences... Im glad you have these happy memories to help you through the tough times. For me, pinball screams "FUN." Glad to see the two of you have such fun and your keeping it going in your own way

#263 1 year ago

Thanks for the update

#264 1 year ago

I am so sorry to now hear of your loss and it is very precious how you honour and share Her memory.

I know of your pain, my wife was taken May 9, 2012 by pancreatic c. Maybe everyone handles it differently and in their own way but for what its worth perhaps my words can give some small solace out there:

- Year one was the hardest, dealing with the grief and trying to figure out who this new 'me' was without Her.

- Finally, in a year, had to break out, get away from the house, go on a sojourn, visit old friends, test and push myself.

- Came back just enough of a new me to be very brave and open a few drawers, clean out a few closets. It was impossibly hard to take Her wedding dress to the local charity shop, but I knew I had to do this. Teary eyed, I just said, 'Here, please take this from me.'

- It was almost, not quite but almost uplifting to get my old, long forgotten bachelor boxes of stuff from the basement and begin redecorating the place and putting my mark on it. Yes, that was hard but necessary for this new me and equally so replacing the many reminders and memorabilia of Us and Her with just a choice few. Her sweet new little sandals we bought together still lay untouched in the bedroom, where She took them off for the last time.

- Finally, after three years my body, more so than my mind, caved in and started dating. What a disaster! No it's not like riding a bike again, more like, actually worse than an awkward teenager fumbling around looking for some sort of start button. Slowly though, my match making lady neighbours and girl 'friends' did what they do best and slyly campaigned to enhance my awareness of their single girlfriends. Talk about a disturbance in the force, little did I know of this sisterhood and its machinations. For every such lovely date was backed by an all too watchful matchmaker friend, essentially an extra new mother in law. Soon after a few of these dates and settling on none, it seemed I was suddenly friendless and deemed ungracious! Oh blessed bachelorhood, not trying at all seems to be working way better now!

- Well it's going to be eight years later soon and who did I spend this winter with, worshipping, spending, slaving over and yet being saved by...those beautiful Bally girls from Atlantis, my first pin.

Hopefully, you find a few grains of hope, humour and perseverance in all this, maybe even see a slow progression from sad to glad (and just maybe I do too!)

Best Wishes

(together 2008)

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1 year later
#265 5 months ago

3 years pass so fast it is very scary, both good and bad. It is also heartbreaking to think of what she could have been part of experiencing these last three years, and years to come. I made some reflections on this and the music om working on.

Fuck this life. And embrace it. Bleh.

#266 5 months ago


#267 5 months ago

Glad to see you're doing okay, an it's nice to see her high score still showing up on the Pinside banner.


#268 5 months ago
Quoted from jaytrem:

Glad to see you're doing okay, an it's nice to see her high score still showing up on the Pinside banner.

Yeah! its really nice to see it, and every time it occurs it makes me happy
The devil's in the details

#269 5 months ago

I like the music. It’s a great way to help one process. I have done something similar for my own grief before. Keep on keeping on!

1 week later
#270 4 months ago

June 1st is coming up fast, and on that day in 2018 many friends and family took part in the funeral ceremony for Sandra. It had many beautiful and melancholic musical performances, and after 3 years it feels right to share some of them with others, both because it is beautiful renditions and also as a way for me to let it go. Not perfect sound or video, but I still feel the emotion and the direness shines through.

1st song: "With or without you", performed on cello, opening the ceremony. This song was also played in our wedding in Austria, as Sandra was led to the altar by her father, so I saw it fitting to open with this.

#271 4 months ago

Thank you for sharing. Well, I didn't make it halfway thru that with dry eyes.

#272 4 months ago

Thank you for sharing....it was haunting. She is always with you, never forget that.

#273 4 months ago

Thanks for your comments <3

The second musical performance from sandras funeral was "Distance" performed on cellos.
It was written from me to her as a doom metal song during our first two years having a long distance relationship Norway - Austria (2010-2012), and the cellos in this rendition really brings out the soul of the song.

This song is also being rerecorded and featured in the upcoming Death Of Giants album, my doom metal project. Looking forward to getting it out there

#274 4 months ago

So sorry to hear this, my deepest sympathies go out to you and your family.

#275 4 months ago

I just read your first post.
So shortly after you Guys got married is when you learned
she was ill? Oh man. 31
I know there's an old saying "Looks isn't everything" but
she was Gorgeous.

#276 4 months ago
Quoted from Mopar:

I just read your first post.
So shortly after you Guys got married is when you learned
she was ill? Oh man. 31
I know there's an old saying "Looks isn't everything" but
she was Gorgeous.

Thank you, she was <3
We got married after.
She was diagnosted (brutally, i came home one night august 2014 and found her totally unconscious on the bed, no responce, and in a kindof stuck loop of epileptic seizure due to a constant pressure in her brain due to the tumor), that was fucking traumatic. But, we got married the year after, i wanted to do that and also show my commitment to her despite having a prognosis of 2-5 years life expectancy

#277 4 months ago

The third musical piece performed in Sandra's funeral is something I think many recognize: "The Rains of Castamere", from Game of Thrones., performed with cellos.

Sabine Weidinger, her sister, made a collection of images from Sandras life which was shown on screen while the music played, and I added this into this video also.

Both Sandra and I loved Game of Thrones (tv-series and book series), and I knew I wanted Rains of Castamere played on cellos in her funeral. For me cello's are the saddest instrument I know. Im sure she would have loved this rendition of The Rains of Castamere, it is a deeply brooding and melancholic piece. We were supposed to see the Music of Game of Thrones performed live in Vienna in 2018

1 week later
#278 4 months ago

Some moments stay with you forever. The last song of Sandra's funeral was Epilogue, written and sung by Roy Khan, and it wraps up the end of our journey as best as it could. Piano played flawlessly by Gunnar-M Gudmundsen.

It is a tragic but, in its own way, a beautiful, ending to what should be a full life with a family and adventures. But despite all, I choose to believe she, and we, lived to the max.

There are 278 posts in this topic. You are on page 6 of 6.

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