I hope you're joking about the killing yourself part, but I sympathize with the family drama.

My wife has had problems with many of my family members. What I'm willing to look past or forgive, because I've grown up with these people, she does not and will not.

So, she does not attend most family functions. I'm not going to inflict that on her.

I asked her to attend my grandmother's 90th birthday because there was going to be a professional photographer there taking photos of the extended family, and she did come to that and participate. Since she did that, I haven't asked her to do it again.

It's better for our marriage to not fight or argue about family drama.

My advice is have an honest conversation with your wife, let her know how much this affects you, and for your own sanity you'll be excusing yourself from most activities.