(Topic ID: 209359)

Please kill me, my Truman show existance continues


By cdnpinbacon

2 years ago



Topic Stats

  • 158 posts
  • 69 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 2 years ago by cdnpinbacon
  • Topic is favorited by 6 Pinsiders

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    There are 158 posts in this topic. You are on page 1 of 4.
    #1 2 years ago

    This thread is a follow up to an earlier post I made about my desire to kill myself.

    hi lites from first post

    -my entire family is crazy
    -I had wedding pictures taken at the mall.
    -I jump off my boat and swim to an island to get away from my in laws.
    -my sister inlaws 2nd wedding was in Hindu. She's not Hindu.
    -going to family events is painstaking and I get loaded because Everyone looks like muppets. Now I'm no glen Campbell myself but my god how do people morph into muppets???
    -the sisters call and speak -text to each other every minute. I'm convinced they are conspiring to drive me crazy.
    -I am in the middle of helping to plan the sisters 3rd wedding.
    -the sisters don't work --well one says she's a photographer, and the other hasn't worked for a quarter of a century.

    Things seemed to be getting worse as the wedding day approaches in August. The sister had a pre honeymoon trip to Jamaica.
    Lovely pics with the grooms tattoos everywhere and up his neck. Jordan, He's a boxer. Well he was a boxer, I went to see him fight at a convention hall filled with the 4 families mafia at the "paradise banquet hall " he didn't do so well. He had to go to the hospital .
    A couple of weeks ago my wife texts me and says we are having a tattoo party. Well its Jordan. I said he's an artist? My wife says, not really but he wants to try ..and then asks me if I want a tattoo? I said no.
    So I come home and there it is happening , my wife is getting a tattoo..the machines humming my wife's face is scrunched and Jordan is carefully crafting something small and unrecognizable of anything on her wrist. My wife is excited and asks the worst question she could of asked me: what does it look like??? I said a butterfly. I was close, it was a firefly and the worst firefly I have seen. I said privately how much is this costing?? Oh just 80 bucks. My wife had to get it fixed by a professional.

    Back to the wedding ... The sisters want my opinion on sprinkle color and if I wouldn't mind chipping in for the honeymoon.

    #2 2 years ago
    Quoted from cdnpinbacon:

    The sisters want my opinion on sprinkle color and if I wouldn't mind chipping in for the honeymoon.

    Um, wow.
    So anyway......... They're planning a honeymoon that they already know they can't afford? Yeah, this will end well.
    Good luck!

    36
    #3 2 years ago

    This wedding is screaming for Shasta and cold cuts.

    #4 2 years ago

    I hear three words in your future.....

    "JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!!"

    #5 2 years ago

    Dude don’t kill yourself, sounds like you have the most interesting life on pinside. Why would you want to shorten that?

    Maybe prep for a reality show instead.

    The funny thing is they probably laugh at your pinball hobby just like you are laughing at them. They are just doing it in Hindi.

    #6 2 years ago

    Just look out if Maury povich shows up at the wedding.

    #7 2 years ago

    Well...i dunno, say "NO" or continue living in this doomed existance?

    #8 2 years ago

    I hope you're joking about the killing yourself part, but I sympathize with the family drama.

    My wife has had problems with many of my family members. What I'm willing to look past or forgive, because I've grown up with these people, she does not and will not.

    So, she does not attend most family functions. I'm not going to inflict that on her.

    I asked her to attend my grandmother's 90th birthday because there was going to be a professional photographer there taking photos of the extended family, and she did come to that and participate. Since she did that, I haven't asked her to do it again.

    It's better for our marriage to not fight or argue about family drama.

    My advice is have an honest conversation with your wife, let her know how much this affects you, and for your own sanity you'll be excusing yourself from most activities.

    #9 2 years ago

    I am all for working things out, but if I were in your situation I couldn't get a divorce fast enough.

    #10 2 years ago

    I smell reality tv show.

    #11 2 years ago

    I had wedding pictures at the mall folks and the kicker is no one had asked the mall permission.

    #12 2 years ago

    Pictures of all these people? How about a picture of the wrist tat? Might help us decide your next move.

    #13 2 years ago
    Quoted from cdnpinbacon:

    -I jump off my boat and swim to an island to get away from my in laws.

    Jees, that was a hint from your sub conscience, "You need some time away from your family". Just for the sake of your sanity.

    #14 2 years ago

    michael-bluth-arrested-development (resized).jpg

    #15 2 years ago
    Quoted from Bryan_Kelly:

    This wedding is screaming for Shasta and cold cuts.

    I believe Tony was only charging $50 for the lessons-Shasta and cold cuts included!

    #16 2 years ago
    Quoted from vaevictis:

    I believe Tony was only charging $50 for the lessons-Shasta and cold cuts included!

    What ever happened to that guy? And where's Jenny?
    Sorry a bit off topic.

    #17 2 years ago

    My extended family is also incredibly dysfunctional, so I can sympathize. I've done a pretty good job isolating myself from much of it though. Sometimes it's best to just laugh. Maybe pretend you're on Arrested Development:

    cdnpinbacon: I don't know why I feel sick.

    [Narrator: cdnpinbacon hasn't eaten in a week, and downed a bottle of vodka earlier to deal with a family gathering.]

    cdnpinbacon: I guess I'll never know...

    One week later:

    cdnpinbacon: I'm going to stop drinking!

    [Narrator: He's not going to stop drinking]

    ----

    All kidding aside, I do hope that you find solace in the future!

    #18 2 years ago

    Now I gasp with love whenever I grab a beer from the fridge ...now the picture remembers me to take 2

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    #19 2 years ago

    image (resized).jpeg

    #20 2 years ago

    Wedding pics crossing the line man! Although it's awfully tempting to show you some nice pics at the woodbine shopping centre.

    #21 2 years ago
    Quoted from Darcy:

    Jees, that was a hint from your sub conscience, "You need some time away from your family". Just for the sake of your sanity.

    I plan to store some liquor at the island I swim too. I'm serious. By all the gods in the sky my wife actually has her boat license., she got it so I can have a few drinks on the boat. Problem is she can't dock or leave the dock or go faster that 10 because her sisters say their "insides are exploding".

    17
    #22 2 years ago

    Now I did post a thread with pics years ago about finding a monkey on the roof of my house. "Woke up and found a monkey on my roof" in the short time he made his home in my backyard, I believe a special bond was formed between us and I must admit from time to time I visit the little guy at his new zoo home. ...his name is mango and I will ask him questions like; what would you do if you were me mango? What and why is this happening to me mango??
    He just chirps and swings around but it comforts me nonetheless.

    #23 2 years ago

    What kind of drugs are you on? This thread is amazingly weird....

    #24 2 years ago

    Go pro. YouTube. Millionaire. You’re welcome.

    #26 2 years ago

    Thread o the year

    #27 2 years ago

    I know you are all in on this...but please let the producer know the monkey bit was a good one!

    #28 2 years ago

    Drugs: well in July weed is legal in Ontario. We are allowed to grow our own plants. The government didn't think about the smell and the fence I'm going to have to put around my lot to stop the kids from breaking in to my yard. My mother in law wants to grow a few...I'm lookin forward to smoking a big fat one with her...definitely will report on that one .

    #29 2 years ago

    Speaking of mother in law. ...a while back
    I stop in at liquidation nation ...as I'm walking around, I see a purple streak whizz by down an isle. Self: I know that purple streak...I walk down the isle, turn left..it's gone! I know what I saw. I ask another employee , do you have a woman with purple hair that works here? She says ..,oh yeah ..my mother in law. I ask the employee, can you tell her that her son in law is here? ...yeah sure thing....my mother in law comes out and I ask: why are you working here? Here answer : I have to get away from Ray. (My father in law) ...he's driving me crazy!!!

    #30 2 years ago

    Your not alone...Truman Show Delusion is real

    https://www.thisamericanlife.org/529/human-spectacle Here’s a episode that talks about it...lol

    #31 2 years ago

    I appreciate your responses as they make me laugh like shit and are very therapeutic .

    #32 2 years ago

    I do recall the monkey thread!

    #33 2 years ago

    Roof monkey ?

    roof monkey (resized).jpg

    #34 2 years ago
    Quoted from cdnpinbacon:

    -I had wedding pictures taken at the mall.

    Just like Paul Blart!

    screenshot_1 (resized).jpg

    #35 2 years ago

    harry-truman-is-the-bomb_o_4645695 (resized).jpg

    #36 2 years ago

    If you weren't like a 25 hr drive North of me I'd invite you to my place for a few days to unwind and get hammered !

    #37 2 years ago
    Quoted from cdnpinbacon:

    I appreciate your responses as they make me laugh like shit and are very therapeutic .

    Enjoy it now. We could turn on you at the drop of a hat.

    Pinside is much like your family...excluding the monkey. He seems like a decent guy.

    I took a picture at the mall once. Wasn't a wedding though.

    #38 2 years ago
    Quoted from GLSP3022:

    Sorry a bit off topic.

    There is a topic?

    #40 2 years ago

    Dude write a book or a Netflix series and please do include your monkey friend!,
    Epic

    #41 2 years ago

    Why did I click on this thread! I can’t not unread it...I seem to be unable to click the drain button...I guess I’m just gonna have to grab some popcorn.

    #42 2 years ago
    Quoted from cdnpinbacon:

    I had wedding pictures at the mall folks and the kicker is no one had asked the mall permission.

    So you were a willing party to this bit of craziness? I got news for you fella, you’re part of the circus.

    #43 2 years ago

    Well, at least I feel better about myself now.

    #44 2 years ago
    Quoted from DngrWillRobinson:

    I got news for you fella, you’re part of the circus.

    Aren't we all?

    ---

    More humor to get you through the day.

    cdnpinbacon: Your honor I would like to plead guilty as well as request the death penalty

    Judge: This.... [looks at paper] this is a parking ticket....

    #45 2 years ago
    Quoted from cdnpinbacon:

    This thread is a follow up to an earlier post I made about my desire to kill myself.
    hi lites from first post
    -my entire family is crazy
    -I had wedding pictures taken at the mall.
    -I jump off my boat and swim to an island to get away from my in laws.
    -my sister inlaws 2nd wedding was in Hindu. She's not Hindu.
    -going to family events is painstaking and I get loaded because Everyone looks like muppets. Now I'm no glen Campbell myself but my god how do people morph into muppets???
    -the sisters call and speak -text to each other every minute. I'm convinced they are conspiring to drive me crazy.
    -I am in the middle of helping to plan the sisters 3rd wedding.
    -the sisters don't work --well one says she's a photographer, and the other hasn't worked for a quarter of a century.
    Things seemed to be getting worse as the wedding day approaches in August. The sister had a pre honeymoon trip to Jamaica.
    Lovely pics with the grooms tattoos everywhere and up his neck. Jordan, He's a boxer. Well he was a boxer, I went to see him fight at a convention hall filled with the 4 families mafia at the "paradise banquet hall " he didn't do so well. He had to go to the hospital .
    A couple of weeks ago my wife texts me and says we are having a tattoo party. Well its Jordan. I said he's an artist? My wife says, not really but he wants to try ..and then asks me if I want a tattoo? I said no.
    So I come home and there it is happening , my wife is getting a tattoo..the machines humming my wife's face is scrunched and Jordan is carefully crafting something small and unrecognizable of anything on her wrist. My wife is excited and asks the worst question she could of asked me: what does it look like??? I said a butterfly. I was close, it was a firefly and the worst firefly I have seen. I said privately how much is this costing?? Oh just 80 bucks. My wife had to get it fixed by a professional.
    Back to the wedding ... The sisters want my opinion on sprinkle color and if I wouldn't mind chipping in for the honeymoon.

    You don't have any problems. These are annoyances. Hardly suicide material. I'd trade my family problems for yours in a heart beat. Although things have been pretty quiet the last few years. I've been to the bridge railing a few times. Thank you God for stepping in.

    #46 2 years ago

    Lesson, be an only child.

    #47 2 years ago
    Quoted from cooked71:

    Lesson, be an only child.

    No - only marry an only child.

    #48 2 years ago
    Quoted from Black_Knight:

    marry an only child.

    With no parents.

    #50 2 years ago
    Quoted from Black_Knight:

    No - only marry an only child.

    Be one with no parents, and marry one with no parents. The less the better.

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