(Topic ID: 59787)

Pinball Veterans Tips for dealing with Wives

By Jared

7 years ago

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  • 59 posts
  • 42 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 7 years ago by singlebanana
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    There are 59 posts in this topic. You are on page 2 of 2.
    #51 7 years ago
    Quoted from Marc:

    I keep my wife in the dark

    Found her high school photo. images.jpg

    #52 7 years ago
    Quoted from BadBrad97:

    Although my divorce was final about 3 weeks ago it wasn't the pinball addiction that ended our marriage. It was alcohol. Maybe pinball drove her to drink, I don't know. Anyways, We never fought about pinball.

    We had our own separate bank accounts and a joint account. I put enough into the joint account to pay all the bills (100% me). Anything that was left over I could put into savings or spend however I wanted. She kept everything she made in her own account and spent it however she wanted.

    I always included her in my plans for purchases and let her know if I was going to be working on something for an extended period of time. That seemed to work well for a few years.

    On the bright side, I have bought 2 new pins since the divorce, I have a new girlfriend now and she loves pinball. She goes by my place and plays pinball when I am not home. Maybe she is the one.

    Welcome to Pinside, Brad! It will become an addiction all its own.

    #53 7 years ago

    Look up "Overton Window". Basically, you drop hints about your intent to do something shocking, like "honey, there's this awesome ATFM for sale down the street for $8,000 and I'm buying it, and that's that!!!". Of course she will be furious, but you keep talking about it for several days. After things come to a boil, you shift down to your real intention... the $2100 T2 you saw on Craigs List! Your wife will be so relieved that you aren't going to spend $8,000, she'll probably help you carry the T2 into the house!

    #54 7 years ago

    (Wives know how to play that game too.)

    #55 7 years ago

    Wife is not a pinball fan. All pins downstairs, her interest , collectables on the other two floors. Always listen to her wants, and needs. Buy quickly, life is good!

    #56 7 years ago
    Quoted from Solder_Splash:

    Don't ever put pinball or any hobby before your family. Plain and simple. The rest will fall into place (at least it has for me)!

    Nailed it

    There are two things that pinball can subtract from your marriage: time and money.

    Here's how I deal with the money:

    I created a 'pinball fund' to buy my first pin. I did side-jobs and sold off a bunch of stuff to get a few grand into the fund to start with. After that, the rule is that I must only spend within the fund unless we agree that I can add money to it with a side job, or I sell something of mine.

    This strategy works for me because it allows me to enjoy a hobby I could otherwise not afford, and it set me up with the mindset that I can't keep any of my pins. I buy a pin that is playable from day one but need some TLC, then shop them out and sell them at a profit after having enjoyed them for 6-12 months. Over time, my fund has grown from $3000 to $7000 (NZD) with having only added a small amount of money to it.

    But besides having solved the money issue, the time issue can be just as damaging. Here's my strategy:

    I make sure that my wife never gets the impression that I'm putting pinball ahead of her in regards to being a helpful and supportive husband and father. If I want to put some time into shopping out a pin, I need to plan and agree on time for this the same way as if I wanted to go fishing. Playing is a different story, because it's easy to just put in 10 mins for a few games, so that's no issue.

    #57 7 years ago

    Fantastic advice from some true veterans in here, thank you. Veterans of both pinball and of marriage. Great advice for a new pinball hobbyist and a newlywed.

    #58 7 years ago

    My wife has been pretty supportive of my pinball hobby addiction over the years. We've been married for 15 years now and I began building my collection about 3 years into our marriage. She always knew about my love for pinball and even though she wasn't always interested, joined me in playing in arcades and when we came across them on location here and there. She allowed me to put my 1st 2 machines in our guest bedroom in the first house we bought and never really complained much about it. Of course, before buying them, I tried my best to include her on the decision, talk about costs with her, show pictures and videos of the pins, etc. I wanted her to feel like she was a part of the decision on these games and always stuck with that even today with 8 pins in my collection. Again, she's not that much into pinball, but we've had some games over the years that she was really into and would come out to the gameroom different times and join me in a game of pinball because she knew it was important to me. Recently, I sold her on the idea of converting our guest bedroom in our current home to a game room and we sold the bedroom furniture and moved most of my pins from the garage to the new "pin room." Before that, she was ok with me keeping 1 or 2 of my most valued pins in a corner in our dining room. She has recently enjoying my new Metallica Pro and will not even let me think of selling it. We play it together a few times per week. I guess I'm fortunate in having her as a wife and partner in life. The only times we've had issues about the hobby over the years is when I'm obsessed with getting a certain machine and I'm constantly online and researching and not paying enough attention to her or our 3 kids. I try to recognize that quickly now and step away when that happens. I guess it all comes down to respect. We respect each other and I try my best to support her interests and things that she's in to. After 15 years of marriage, I've found that it's all a balancing act...we make decisions together and don't keep the other one "in the dark" about anything and for the most part, things seem to go pretty smoothly between us.

    Happy Pinballing!

    #59 7 years ago
    Quoted from Banker:

    Wife is not a pinball fan. All pins downstairs, her interest , collectables on the other two floors. Always listen to her wants, and needs. Buy quickly, life is good!

    My wife is not a fan of pinball, but has never criticized me for my hobby. I keep bringing in machines and filling up the place and she doesn't say a word; she'll even take care of our two young kids without complaint when I want to go pick up a machine. She even helps me unload them!!!

    With this said, I believe that her unwillingness or need to complain keeps me in check. It's like some Jedi mind trick. I always wonder how she is going to feel about me taking up the space and therefore, have determined how many machines I can comfortably put into "our" space and allow for things for her and the family. Sometimes I think nagging only makes us do things we shouldn't and silence makes us think more about what we are doing.

    Unfortunately, my wife doesn't have any hobbies and doesn't collect anything. I actually wish that she did enjoy collecting something so that she could focus her energies on something that she really likes. I'm just lucky in regards to finding someone so humble who allows me to enjoy what I do.

    I echo the advice of others. The maintenance of my machines is currently in a slow state, but it's not due to laziness, only spending time with my family and helping out with the housework/yardwork and kids. I wouldn't have it any other way. Family first.

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