(Topic ID: 47774)

Pinball Lessons - Hurry Slots Are Filling Up Fast! (POLL ADDED)

By LesManley

10 years ago


Topic Heartbeat

Topic Stats

  • 265 posts
  • 120 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 58 days ago by Roostking
  • Topic is favorited by 28 Pinsiders

You

Linked Games

Topic poll

“Is this pinball lesson for hire CL post real?”

  • Hell yes! Carl is a god among men & I would love a deli meat / Shasta fueled training session with Carl! 54 votes
    28%
  • Probably not. Carl's offer is like heaven on Earth and just seems too good to be true. 44 votes
    23%
  • Not sure...but regardless, I want to see what Patty J is all about! 95 votes
    49%

(Multiple choice - 193 votes by 184 Pinsiders)

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46
#1 10 years ago

If anyone wants pinball lessons, just let me know. I will beat this guy's price. Call it, $47 an hour...what a savings! I will teach you any techniques you need to master such as; "Crane technique", "wax on/wax off", "paint the fence" and "sand the floor"...if we have time we can work up a sweat with some kata too...even though kata won't win you any tournament. Also, I will pass on to you my patented two step breathing program. Here's a preview so you can practice before hand. First step, inhale. Second step, exhale. Now try it again and see if you can do it multiple times in a row. I will also offer you a choice of FOUR deli meats...instead of 3 AND 2 cheeses as well...not just American cheese. If I'm in a good mood I *might* just throw you one of my Mountain Dews too, but don't push it. If I do, it won't be a cold one from the fridge, so you'd get a warm one...and don't ask for ice or a glass. PLUS, my VCR is broken so I don't have anyone coming over to watch taped shows and I do all my bench press filming in the garage like God intended...so my availability is wide open! Let me know soon...slots are filling up fast!

spokane.craigslist.org link

In case it gets deleted...
"Hello my name is Carl and I am offering up my pinball experteese for $50 dollars a hour. I am currently ranked 163rd domestically and 538th internationally and I will teach you any technique you need to master as found here..... http://www.ipdb.org/playing/advanced.html I will also teach you my patent pending breathing regimen. For $50 you get an hour of extreme coaching either at my place (no miners or unaccompanied women) (due to past issues with a liar named Patty J.) I have 6 top quality machines that work 100%. Or I can come to your place ($25) travel fee and help you master one of your games. If I host I do offer a 10 minite break where I offer a sandwhich with your choice from 3 deli meats and american cheese with a shasta brand soda. (the pepsi products are for my son and me) I am available everyday except thurs when my mom and Jeff come over to watch their programs that i record for them. Also sometimes Jeff wants me to film him bench pressing in the game room so that room is off at that time. Slots are filling up so email me soon to get in. Thank you."

#4 10 years ago
Quoted from lowepg:

Deli meats, cheese, Shasta and pinball? Sounds like heaven!

Unless you are some liar named Patty J.

#25 10 years ago
Quoted from xenon325i:

No miners? Sounds a bit unfair to exclude somebody from this chance-in-a-lifetime offer simply by view of their profession.

That's just not right. I would embrace miners, unaccompanied women, lumberjacks, truckers, you name it. Hell, I'll even give lessons to that liar Patty J. Now that I think about it...maybe "embrace" isn't the right word.

#41 10 years ago
Quoted from Bryan_Kelly:

ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING MY F'ING ASS OFF!!!
Not sure which is funnier, John, the original ad or your counter ad.
Next time you're over, I'm pullin out the cheese pump, just for you.

YES! I'm going to need some pinfooties soon for the new gameroom too, so I'll have even more of an excuse to come down your way to take you up on that. Cheese pump and pinfooties...ain't life grand.

#45 10 years ago

I found the first confirmed picture of Patty J! I think this explains Carl's disdain for "miners".

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!before.jpg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!before.jpg

#47 10 years ago
Quoted from Patofnaud:

He's got skills. You know, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.

Skillz that Killz

#50 10 years ago

Love the tags on this thread...

tags.JPGtags.JPG

#54 10 years ago
Quoted from Syco54645:

So I just emailed him...
Hello Carl,
I am interested in your pinball lessons. $50 seems like a steal for learning all of the stuff on that page. I notice when playing that my breathing gets rather erratic so I am thrilled that you can teach me your paten-pending regimen. I do have a few questions though.
What machines do you have? I would like to learn on a wide variety of games so that I can better hone my skills.
What flavor Shasta do you have? I am pretty simple to please with flavors of soda just want to make sure that I do not need to bring any. I get quite sweaty when playing pinball and want to make sure I stay well hydrated.
What lunch meet and cheeses do you have? Again I am not picky just curious, If you have something like bologna, salami, and ham that is great but if you have something like pimento loaf, head cheese, or liverwurst then I would prefer to bring my own. Same thing goes with cheeses, the typical are ok (though not a huge fan of swiss) but if it is limburger then I am afraid I would have to again bring my own (need to stay fresh for the ladies, ya know what I mean!). No issues, just wondering.
What shows do your mom and Jeff watch? I may be interested in watching with them as I just moved to the area and am looking for things to do. I could of course pay extra for this!
Is the weight bench off limits? Again, I just moved here and need a gym and would rather give my money to a fellow pinball enthusiast than some random gym owner to buy steroids.
I think this could be a great arrangement, even if it is just for pinball. I could see taking lessons from you for a long time.
Thank you!
Jim
spokane.craigslist.org link

Any response back from Carl yet? I so hope he responds...

#62 10 years ago
Quoted from txstargazer3:

She didn't even bring you a Shasta?

Damn...beat me to it. Good show old man! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!before.jpg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!before.jpg

#68 10 years ago
Quoted from Stack15:

It is fully possible that Carl is a member here. Wouldn't that be interesting?

Oh God I hope so! Stand up and be counted man! You're a living legend now! I wish we could stage a friendly exhibition match between Carl and Keith. We could hype it up like Apollo Creed vs. Ivan Drago.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!before.jpg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!before.jpg

#94 10 years ago
Quoted from Dmm55mm:

I thinks its real. You cant make that stuff up, its just to weird.

I added a poll so the masses can decide for themselves!

If you are intrigued by Patty J, you can vote for more than one choice.

#100 10 years ago
Quoted from Gerry:

HURRY...SLUTS are filling up FAST

Isn't that always the case...

#102 10 years ago
Quoted from Jake:

TAGS
$50 Make You Holla!
Autographed Carl Hardbody
Best Spent $50? Pinball Or Patty J
Breathing Techniques
CANNA BROTHA GETTA SHASTA
Carl's Son Hogged All The Pepsi
Carls Jr. Founder Moonlighting
Cheese
Creepy Dude Not Allowed Around Minors
Deli Meats
Do You Know Jeff?
Don't Eat The Sandwich!
Extreme CoachingFilm At 11:00
Filming A Dude Bench PressingFilming Jeff
FS: Diner With Onion Loaf Topper
George Lucas Signed My Meat
Have Salami - Will Travel (For An Extra $25)
Heavy Breathing With My Meat
Here We Go With The Tags Again!
Hey Kid...Wanna Shasta?
HO Hey...Patty J
I Must Break You
I Want My $50!
I'd Rather Go To Subway
I'm The Next Best Thing!
Jeff Broke VCR With Flying Dumbbell
Jeff Does 12 Oz Curls With Shasta
Jeff Kills Carls Gerbil - An In-Depth Look
Jeff Pumps My Meat
Jeff Wantz To Pump...You Up
Lamaze Pinball...Who Knew?!?
LesManley Teaches Patty J Thing Or TwoLessonsMan With Big Salami Teaches
PinballMénage A Tois With Jeff And Carl's Mom
Minors Banned - Carl Must Not Be A Priest
Mystery Meats
Naked
Hairy Pirate Hookers
No Fear In This Dojo!
No Mercy In This Dojo!
No Miners Or Liars Allowed!
NO PEPSI FOR YOU
No Underground Workers Allowed At Lessons
No Woman Allowed
Pat My J
Patent-Pending Breathing Technique
Patty J
Patty J Why I Became A Vegetarian
Patty J Loved My Meat
Patty J Ran Off With Winston McGillicutty
Patty J Said She Loved Me
Patty J Took It In The Shasta
Pinball Experteese Training
Pinball Lessons And Autographs.
Possible Relative To DESW Kid
Roofies And Shasta
Salami And Balls
Salami FlippersShasta
Shasta And Pinball = Heaven
Single Women Love Lunch Meat Too
This Is A Karate Dojo Not A Nitting Class
True Life Stories Of Pinball GrandMasters
Unaccompanied Women Will Be Slapped With Meat
Women Can Vote But Banned From Pinball. News At 11
Copied and pasted the tags since there is a possibility an overzealous mod may delete them.

For a second I thought you re-typed all those. What if an overzealous mod deletes them and then deletes your post too?

#110 10 years ago
Quoted from lowepg:

Please watch this before accepting his shasta....
» YouTube video

So that's how Carl gets you. Lures you in with promises of pinball greatness and deli meat, then BLAM, knocks you out cold with a Shasta. Who knows what unspeakable horrors Patty J had to go through.

#113 10 years ago
Quoted from Sparky:

This should be a theme of Stern's next machine. Would you buy it? What would the official title be? Tons of modes.

Pro, Premium, Liar Patty J LE and Shasta LE (limited to 50 each)

#121 10 years ago

The non-believers have taken the lead in the poll, 22-21 votes. Patty J is of course holding her own and leading the pack. Carl believers around the world need to unite and vote YES!

votecarlnow.gifvotecarlnow.gif

#123 10 years ago

Don't suppose anyone heard from Carl? Ad is still up, but no response. Bummer.

#136 10 years ago
Quoted from PennSkier:

Clearly the autographed Slash Top Hat replica is out of play since Carl always wins it back for himself - so I assume this tournament will be no different.
The rest of us are vying for the Bear Gryllis autographed DVD set and the brand new snap-on coozies (WTF). LOL

I don't know. Sounds like Jasper could take the champ out, but we cant bank on it. We should sponsor a pinsider to enter this Kumite and see if they can dethrone Chong Li, I mean Carl, and bring the replica hat back to pin side where it can be displayed in all its glory.

#140 10 years ago
Quoted from TigerLaw:

I would totally contribute a few bucks to this venture. Let's get a pinside guy to go in for the lesson and report back to us. Who all is close to this dude? AbicusMan?

I would be in too. Whoever we sponsor can't fail though. Failure would mean death, so the sponsor would have to be prepared to meet their maker if they dont succeed. They need to get the hat for all of pin side. It would be the ultimate trophy. Hockey has the Stanley Cup, we would have the Carl Hat!

#153 10 years ago

Carl? Is that you? Carl.JPGCarl.JPG

2 weeks later
#159 10 years ago

BUMP-1.jpgBUMP-1.jpg

Long live Carl, long live the king!

1 week later
#177 10 years ago
Quoted from Steverd:

Did he even say what pinball machines he has? Anything good? There are only few really good players in Spokane. My Twilight Zone still has their high scores on it.

I think the consensus was Hard Bodies, Playboy and Sexy Girl. Might have a Raven too.

8 months later
#193 10 years ago

I love that this came back. It is so legendary, long live Patty J! I'm just sad that the laundry list of tags got deleted from the thread. Those were entertainment in themselves.

2 months later
#198 9 years ago
Quoted from PismoArcade:

Holy crap... Shasta boy is back...This time with Steak-ums! (Dwarves need not apply.)
spokane.craigslist.org link

Sadly I fear that is an impostor Carl. Comparing the misspellings and phrasings from his original ad, I highly doubt this is truly him.

4 years later
#248 5 years ago
Quoted from Higloss67:

LMAO. Just read the entire thread.

What a blast from the past. It should be required reading for all members. Probably the best post I ever made except for maybe the Secret Santa thread, which I will also be posting again soon.

2 years later
#251 3 years ago

He's back!

It's all the same, only the names have changed (sung in my best Bon Jovi voice)

lessons (resized).JPGlessons (resized).JPG

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