TAGS
$50 Make You Holla!
Autographed Carl Hardbody
Best Spent $50? Pinball Or Patty J
Breathing Techniques
CANNA BROTHA GETTA SHASTA
Carl's Son Hogged All The Pepsi
Carls Jr. Founder Moonlighting
Cheese
Creepy Dude Not Allowed Around Minors
Deli Meats
Do You Know Jeff?
Don't Eat The Sandwich!
Extreme CoachingFilm At 11:00
Filming A Dude Bench PressingFilming Jeff
FS: Diner With Onion Loaf Topper
George Lucas Signed My Meat
Have Salami - Will Travel (For An Extra $25)
Heavy Breathing With My Meat
Here We Go With The Tags Again!
Hey Kid...Wanna Shasta?
HO Hey...Patty J
I Must Break You
I Want My $50!
I'd Rather Go To Subway
I'm The Next Best Thing!
Jeff Broke VCR With Flying Dumbbell
Jeff Does 12 Oz Curls With Shasta
Jeff Kills Carls Gerbil - An In-Depth Look
Jeff Pumps My Meat
Jeff Wantz To Pump...You Up
Lamaze Pinball...Who Knew?!?
LesManley Teaches Patty J Thing Or TwoLessonsMan With Big Salami Teaches
PinballMénage A Tois With Jeff And Carl's Mom
Minors Banned - Carl Must Not Be A Priest
Mystery Meats
Naked
Hairy Pirate Hookers
No Fear In This Dojo!
No Mercy In This Dojo!
No Miners Or Liars Allowed!
NO PEPSI FOR YOU
No Underground Workers Allowed At Lessons
No Woman Allowed
Pat My J
Patent-Pending Breathing Technique
Patty J
Patty J Why I Became A Vegetarian
Patty J Loved My Meat
Patty J Ran Off With Winston McGillicutty
Patty J Said She Loved Me
Patty J Took It In The Shasta
Pinball Experteese Training
Pinball Lessons And Autographs.
Possible Relative To DESW Kid
Roofies And Shasta
Salami And Balls
Salami FlippersShasta
Shasta And Pinball = Heaven
Single Women Love Lunch Meat Too
This Is A Karate Dojo Not A Nitting Class
True Life Stories Of Pinball GrandMasters
Unaccompanied Women Will Be Slapped With Meat
Women Can Vote But Banned From Pinball. News At 11

Copied and pasted the tags since there is a possibility an overzealous mod may delete them.

Quick, someone take a photo and save on their computer!

thank you.

Everyone needs to visit the CL ad and hit the 'best of CL' button. That ad is genius!

I hit the best of CL for this ad also.

when reading the tags I had to lie down on the couch I was laughing so hard. thread of the year!

Caterpillar cuts outlook due to weak mining sales:

http://news.yahoo.com/caterpillar-inc-misses-cuts-outlook-weak-mining-sales-120215110--sector.html

Could this have something to do with Carl not giving giving pinball lessons to miners? Is it because he knows their business slumping and he doesn't think they will pay? Or could this be why the mining business is slumping... because they can't get pinball lessons?

Please watch this before accepting his shasta....

well, he HAS refined his technique now with roofies, but in a pinch, this is a possible backup plan.

This should be a theme of Stern's next machine. Would you buy it? What would the official title be? Tons of modes.

By the way, I just gotta ask because I laugh every time I think about it . . . do people really film each other bench pressing? Seriously?

LMAO!

Stern: Where will you be playing pinball this weekend?
Me: With carl, he's a gonna teech me hows 2 play sum good pinballs! Shasta included!

This topic is making me hungry.

Think its time for a sandwich and a Shasta while watching a little bit of " My Name is Earl" on the TV.

Ok, this is my vote for most entertaining CL ad ever.

Mmmmmm..... Shasta!! This is comedic gold...

I printed out the original CL ad and it is now making the rounds at my office.

There is either laughter (cool people) or stern/serious "I don't get it" reactions (from the humorless drones).

No one has expressed an interest in enrolling in this valuable curriculum.

Not to your face.

Just (finally!) read this whole thread! Gold!!

Moving-picture-treasure-chest-with-shi.gif

Ahhh, so this is where all the missing tags went.

Here is a reply from Carl...? Beware of ferrets!

spokane.craigslist.org link

FYI in case it gets removed:

update: so i have got many emails regarding lessons and I have 8 out of 10 slots filled. I have also got emails from people who just want to play my games without the lesson and that is fine. so i have decided to host a tournament at my place(20 dollar buy in) the tournament will take place at the end of my lesson program with paying clients. there will be a tournament for my students in which the winner will have a choice from 3 different prizes. every year i put up my replica top hat signed by Slash on the appetite for destruction tour. I always win it back so thats why i put it up (last year Jasper Fent got really close though) I also have a Man in Wild dvd box set signed by Bear Gryles and a really nice condition snap-on cooler with 3 brand new coozies. 1st, 2nd and 3rd will have first choice. then i will have a tournament for non students in which cash will be the prize for 1st and second(depending on participants) food will be provided by me with no additional charge. also i do have ferrets just to let you know (this was a deal breaker for one preceptive client, so if you cant handle them maybe not the place for you) lessons have started and theirs 2 slots left. the tourney will be a great chance to meet other friends that are into pinball. should be a great time.

I actually do wish I was closer!!

I have no comment, just laughter!

I've been dreaming of Shasta and Cheeze Whiz. Help me.

Can we sponsor someone to go and represent pinside??.

This seems fantastic...

I don't know if there is any help for you, but at least you're not dreaming of Jeff bench pressing naked while Carl films it and Patty J is standing in the corner in her underwear eating a sandwich and drinking Shasta, while Carl's son is chasing ferrets with a Pepsi in both hands! All the while some miner is trying to learn how to play pinball while breathing hard and Carl's mom is watching Judge Judy on tape.

I'm still thinking this Carl guy must be a member here. He owns pinball machines and has an internet connection right?

The thread that just keeps on giving.

Clearly the autographed Slash Top Hat replica is out of play since Carl always wins it back for himself - so I assume this tournament will be no different.

The rest of us are vying for the Bear Gryllis autographed DVD set and the brand new snap-on coozies (WTF). LOL

What can we say?..........Carl's the man!!!

lolllllll, this thread and those tags = gold.

Ever hear back from Carl? Me and Tiger could sure use some ice cold Shasta!

I would totally contribute a few bucks to this venture. Let's get a pinside guy to go in for the lesson and report back to us. Who all is close to this dude? AbicusMan?

Just think of the money AXL ROSE would pay for a signed SLASH HAT that he could burn. Would make a good topper for a GNR machine though. However, taking Carl out may prove to be the ultimate challenge as the guy probably plays pinball 50 hours a week between pumping iron, drinking shasta and eating his sandwiches with Deli meats.

Maybe we can franchise this idea out.....sounds like a can't miss maybe even make it an IPO and all Pinsiders can make some spare change and fund every future LE purchase. Sure people never thought STARBUCKS would be a huge hit so you never know how many lonely woman are just looking for some "private pinball lessons"....

Whoever we send in for the lessons will need to wear a pen that records audio and pics. It could be the single most epic hour of humor we have all ever lived through. What pinsiders are near this cat that are willing to take one for the team?

PDXMonkey is in Oregon . . . based on what fattrain posted regarding PDX "violating" his AC/DC I think that might be who we have to send in to take Carl down and snag the Slash hat.

Count me in for a contribution. However, I am sure this guy has "home field advantage"...unleveled games, tilt adjusted, etc. I doubt he plays fair and probably even if we beat him he would want to double up and have a weight lifting contest double or nothing. So we better sound someone who can first beat him at pinball and then be able to pump some iron when good ole Carl goes that route. He isn't giving up that Slash hat easily.....sounds like his prized possession !!

I think this is Carls teaching technique.......its all in the hip thrusts

This could be really dangerous. Youve beat his high score on your second ball and he knows his hat is gone.

"Im gonna go get you guys some sandwich's made"

"Huh, thats weird. He didnt ask me what kind of deli meat I wa....

The pinball machine explodes and the hat is rigged to an escape pod. You are either dead or missing limbs.

I tend to agree with this. Not only is Carl probably extremely good and will have the home field advantage . . . I think he would cheat to win to protect his prized possession. This is even more reason we need to covertly record this entire lesson and the tournament.

I can't believe we don't have a volunteer yet from Washington or Oregon to go take a lesson and then take on Carl head to head for the hat of destiny . . . I mean Slash's top hat.

This would probably be closer to Carl's technique:

http://www.youtube.com/embed/VvSvD7AKeyQ?autoplay=1&rel=0

And then finish off a with sandwich and a little:

Lets face it the guy would protect his autographed Slash hat probably with his life.

Lets think about this for a minute. Lets assume he is the real deal (unlikely but lets just go under that assumption). Anyone paying for lessons probably is a really rotten player (like me). If Carl really is "pretty good" he knows that the chances of any player with a few lessons of "taking him out" is minimal. So this is what they call a "slam dunk". Kinda like Michael Jordan teaching me how to shoot and offering me his home if I beat him 1 on 1.

So really if this is the real deal we have to attack this in two ways. Carl would spot a ringer a mile away. So this is going to have to be the PAUL NEWMAN "hussle" like in the movie with Tom Cruise (when Tom was a pool player). The guy we send in is going to have to really act like he is bad. Carl isn't risking his "prized possession" if he feels there is any risk. So we not only need the guy to be a good pinball player but he has to know how to "hussle" and like I said earlier lifting weights would be an added bonus for when Carl loses and says "how about double or nothing in the weight room". So we need a "triple threat" type of well rounded individual to take Carls prized possession....probably 2 or 3 outside in the car for when our "champ" comes running out after our guy with Carl in hot pursuit !! He isn't letting go of Slash's hat easily.

I believe we need a committee formed ASAP. Personally, I believe it was easier to defeat the Germans during the World War then it will be to get Carl's hat. However, the prize will be worth it. My only concern is what Carl might do to himself if he loses.