(Topic ID: 47774)

Pinball Lessons - Hurry Slots Are Filling Up Fast! (POLL ADDED)


By LesManley

6 years ago



Topic Stats

  • 250 posts
  • 112 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 7 months ago by toyotaboy
  • Topic is favorited by 26 Pinsiders

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Topic poll

“Is this pinball lesson for hire CL post real?”

  • Hell yes! Carl is a god among men & I would love a deli meat / Shasta fueled training session with Carl! 49 votes
    28%
  • Probably not. Carl's offer is like heaven on Earth and just seems too good to be true. 41 votes
    23%
  • Not sure...but regardless, I want to see what Patty J is all about! 88 votes
    49%

(Multiple choice - 178 votes by 171 Pinsiders)

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There are 250 posts in this topic. You are on page 1 of 5.
38
#1 6 years ago

If anyone wants pinball lessons, just let me know. I will beat this guy's price. Call it, $47 an hour...what a savings! I will teach you any techniques you need to master such as; "Crane technique", "wax on/wax off", "paint the fence" and "sand the floor"...if we have time we can work up a sweat with some kata too...even though kata won't win you any tournament. Also, I will pass on to you my patented two step breathing program. Here's a preview so you can practice before hand. First step, inhale. Second step, exhale. Now try it again and see if you can do it multiple times in a row. I will also offer you a choice of FOUR deli meats...instead of 3 AND 2 cheeses as well...not just American cheese. If I'm in a good mood I *might* just throw you one of my Mountain Dews too, but don't push it. If I do, it won't be a cold one from the fridge, so you'd get a warm one...and don't ask for ice or a glass. PLUS, my VCR is broken so I don't have anyone coming over to watch taped shows and I do all my bench press filming in the garage like God intended...so my availability is wide open! Let me know soon...slots are filling up fast!

spokane.craigslist.org link

In case it gets deleted...
"Hello my name is Carl and I am offering up my pinball experteese for $50 dollars a hour. I am currently ranked 163rd domestically and 538th internationally and I will teach you any technique you need to master as found here..... http://www.ipdb.org/playing/advanced.html I will also teach you my patent pending breathing regimen. For $50 you get an hour of extreme coaching either at my place (no miners or unaccompanied women) (due to past issues with a liar named Patty J.) I have 6 top quality machines that work 100%. Or I can come to your place ($25) travel fee and help you master one of your games. If I host I do offer a 10 minite break where I offer a sandwhich with your choice from 3 deli meats and american cheese with a shasta brand soda. (the pepsi products are for my son and me) I am available everyday except thurs when my mom and Jeff come over to watch their programs that i record for them. Also sometimes Jeff wants me to film him bench pressing in the game room so that room is off at that time. Slots are filling up so email me soon to get in. Thank you."

#2 6 years ago

I've never been that desperate to get better.

That is a wow moment.

#3 6 years ago

Deli meats, cheese, Shasta and pinball? Sounds like heaven!

#4 6 years ago
Quoted from lowepg:

Deli meats, cheese, Shasta and pinball? Sounds like heaven!

Unless you are some liar named Patty J.

#5 6 years ago

Also he's not in the top 100 for the US. This has got to be a joke, if not elwin could charge 500 bucks and not give u a shasta

#6 6 years ago

Breathing regimen, LOL! I better call this guy, I passed out playing a long game of LOTR the other day

#7 6 years ago

If Keith Elwin was teaching I'd do it.

#8 6 years ago

Alright, thought I'd give y'all some fun tags to start with. If any thread deserved some funny tags other than DESW it is this one. Add to them. Nite nite gang.

#9 6 years ago

Is he a pinball personal trainer or is this some form of pinball prostitution? Also mixing deli meats and heavy breathing this guy might need to know the heimlich maneuver.

#10 6 years ago

, seems credible.

PinballPro.png

17
#11 6 years ago

No miners? Sounds a bit unfair to exclude somebody from this chance-in-a-lifetime offer simply by view of their profession.

#12 6 years ago

Wow! I'm #1 in New Zealand. I should get at least $51 an hour.

Cough
Cough
Cough

No Patty J though. Last time she came round, there was all sorts of marlarky.

Also, why no Miners? Even people who work underground deserve quality pinball tuition.

All miners welcome at my lessons. As long as they shower first.

rd.

#13 6 years ago

At first I just thought this guy was weird, but the last three sentences are just too much. There is no way this can be real

18
#14 6 years ago

Also, why no Miners? Even people who work underground deserve quality pinball tuition.

No unaccompanied women either. Wonder what would happen if an unaccompanied miner showed up? God forbid it be a woman miner.

Also sometimes Jeff wants me to film him bench pressing in the game room so that room is off at that time.

What Jeff might look like:

unclerico.JPG

#15 6 years ago

So which brave Pinsider is going to volunteer to go to the lessons and video them for the groups amusement?

I'll give a $50 Pinball Life voucher to the first video poster!!

rd.

#16 6 years ago

I suggest someone reach out to him and request a youtube video of his mad skills prior to engaging into a training contract...

#17 6 years ago

$50 an hour and he won't spare a Pepsi?

#18 6 years ago

The guy is probably legit, but it ia an uber-creepy post. I've known people like this, they are generally harmless. The internet allows for all-types to be stage front. Creepy people are EVERYWHERE, not just in Wal-mart.

#19 6 years ago

This just made my day 1000% better!
But for $50 couldn't he offer something that isn't shasta? Even faygo would've been better...

#20 6 years ago

no miners

miner.jpg

#21 6 years ago

Love the tags ya'll added last night. Hysterical.

#22 6 years ago

I agree with the CL ad guy. Down with miners! If it wasn't for them digging up diamonds and gold then I would have a lot more money in my bank account and could afford more machines.

#23 6 years ago

I love the idea that this 1hr lesson is going to be SO INTENSE that you will need to stop for a 10 minute break and refuel with a sandwich before going on.

I'm sorry but I'm going to have to call this a joke. It's just too perfect. I would love for it to be true though. Please, someone with money to burn, book a lesson and secretly film it. Make sure to take up the sandwich offer too.

If it is a joke ad then a quick phone call would clear it up.

30
#24 6 years ago

So I just emailed him...

Hello Carl,
I am interested in your pinball lessons. $50 seems like a steal for learning all of the stuff on that page. I notice when playing that my breathing gets rather erratic so I am thrilled that you can teach me your paten-pending regimen. I do have a few questions though.

What machines do you have? I would like to learn on a wide variety of games so that I can better hone my skills.

What flavor Shasta do you have? I am pretty simple to please with flavors of soda just want to make sure that I do not need to bring any. I get quite sweaty when playing pinball and want to make sure I stay well hydrated.

What lunch meet and cheeses do you have? Again I am not picky just curious, If you have something like bologna, salami, and ham that is great but if you have something like pimento loaf, head cheese, or liverwurst then I would prefer to bring my own. Same thing goes with cheeses, the typical are ok (though not a huge fan of swiss) but if it is limburger then I am afraid I would have to again bring my own (need to stay fresh for the ladies, ya know what I mean!). No issues, just wondering.

What shows do your mom and Jeff watch? I may be interested in watching with them as I just moved to the area and am looking for things to do. I could of course pay extra for this!

Is the weight bench off limits? Again, I just moved here and need a gym and would rather give my money to a fellow pinball enthusiast than some random gym owner to buy steroids.

I think this could be a great arrangement, even if it is just for pinball. I could see taking lessons from you for a long time.

Thank you!

Jim

spokane.craigslist.org link

#25 6 years ago
Quoted from xenon325i:

No miners? Sounds a bit unfair to exclude somebody from this chance-in-a-lifetime offer simply by view of their profession.

That's just not right. I would embrace miners, unaccompanied women, lumberjacks, truckers, you name it. Hell, I'll even give lessons to that liar Patty J. Now that I think about it...maybe "embrace" isn't the right word.

#26 6 years ago

There's no way this is for real, but part of me really hopes it is.

#27 6 years ago
Quoted from frolic:

There's no way this is for real, but part of me really hopes it is.

I have not received a reply yet. If I do it will be posted here...

#28 6 years ago

You guys are responsible for all the coffee on my monitors. This site is absolute gold sometimes.

#29 6 years ago
Quoted from Syco54645:

I have not received a reply yet. If I do it will be posted here...

Please do, this is priceless.

#30 6 years ago
Quoted from Syco54645:

So I just emailed him...
Hello Carl,
I am interested in your pinball lessons. $50 seems like a steal for learning all of the stuff on that page. I notice when playing that my breathing gets rather erratic so I am thrilled that you can teach me your paten-pending regimen. I do have a few questions though.
What machines do you have? I would like to learn on a wide variety of games so that I can better hone my skills.
What flavor Shasta do you have? I am pretty simple to please with flavors of soda just want to make sure that I do not need to bring any. I get quite sweaty when playing pinball and want to make sure I stay well hydrated.
What lunch meet and cheeses do you have? Again I am not picky just curious, If you have something like bologna, salami, and ham that is great but if you have something like pimento loaf, head cheese, or liverwurst then I would prefer to bring my own. Same thing goes with cheeses, the typical are ok (though not a huge fan of swiss) but if it is limburger then I am afraid I would have to again bring my own (need to stay fresh for the ladies, ya know what I mean!). No issues, just wondering.
What shows do your mom and Jeff watch? I may be interested in watching with them as I just moved to the area and am looking for things to do. I could of course pay extra for this!
Is the weight bench off limits? Again, I just moved here and need a gym and would rather give my money to a fellow pinball enthusiast than some random gym owner to buy steroids.
I think this could be a great arrangement, even if it is just for pinball. I could see taking lessons from you for a long time.
Thank you!
Jim
spokane.craigslist.org link

HAHA! Oh man that was a hilarious reply. I'm still laughing. Let us know if he responds.

#31 6 years ago
Quoted from TheBaron:

HAHA! Oh man that was a hilarious reply. I'm still laughing. Let us know if he responds.

Glad you liked it. Tell Gustavus, Adolphus, Albrecht, and of course Berthold I said hello.

#32 6 years ago

This ad is way too funny I have given over a thousand golf lessons and never offered one of them a lunch break because it was too intense. Maybe that could be a new marketing plan, a golf lesson and a deli meat sandwich, but no Pepsi product, just Shasta. That could be a deal breaker!

#33 6 years ago

Best thread ever.

#34 6 years ago

ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING MY F'ING ASS OFF!!!

Not sure which is funnier, John, the original ad or your counter ad.

Next time you're over, I'm pullin out the cheese pump, just for you.

#35 6 years ago

Some of these ads are just so ridiculous = they make me believe they are for real....

Yes, posted by lunatics, but real attempts nonetheless.

For instance, the part about the sandwiches and shasta and the kid working out are so insanely weird, it makes me believe....

#36 6 years ago

I wish this were in my area, I still can't figure out how to use those flipper things. The glass is in the way and i don't know how to get to them to hit the silver ball thingies.

#37 6 years ago

When is someone going to post an ad as Patty J... Asking for pinball lessons from a non creepy guy... Lol
MOF

#38 6 years ago
Quoted from Syco54645:

Glad you liked it. Tell Gustavus, Adolphus, Albrecht, and of course Berthold I said hello.

I would, but they got themselves swallowed by another whale.

#39 6 years ago

Well one thing is for sure, He has a DE Star Wars with a signed translight.

#40 6 years ago

Btw my name is not Jim, I changed my name to protect the innocent... haha

#41 6 years ago
Quoted from Bryan_Kelly:

ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING MY F'ING ASS OFF!!!
Not sure which is funnier, John, the original ad or your counter ad.
Next time you're over, I'm pullin out the cheese pump, just for you.

YES! I'm going to need some pinfooties soon for the new gameroom too, so I'll have even more of an excuse to come down your way to take you up on that. Cheese pump and pinfooties...ain't life grand.

15
#42 6 years ago

I have a feeling this guy might look something like this:

swl.jpg

#43 6 years ago
Quoted from rotordave:

Wow! I'm #1 in New Zealand. I should get at least $51 an hour.
rd.

well nice, but even that i see its still 100 places more than me in ww-ranking...

than, i'll ask 52$ !

#44 6 years ago
Quoted from Syco54645:

Btw my name is not Jim, I changed my name to protect the innocent... haha

You forgot to add the PS.

PS - I am not a miner. I don't own a shovel or a pick.

#45 6 years ago

I found the first confirmed picture of Patty J! I think this explains Carl's disdain for "miners".

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!before.jpg

#46 6 years ago

He's got skills. You know, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.

#47 6 years ago
Quoted from Patofnaud:

He's got skills. You know, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.

Skillz that Killz

#48 6 years ago

I'll bring my own Pepsi.

#49 6 years ago

I bet that is totally BYOMAYO.

#50 6 years ago

Love the tags on this thread...

tags.JPG

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