(Topic ID: 238385)

Pinball Hate Club


By snyper2099

7 months ago



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  • 285 posts
  • 160 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 43 days ago by SkaterVet
  • Topic is favorited by 16 Pinsiders

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#119 7 months ago

My list of hate is long... but its not titles.

This is humor folks, so don't panic... you have been warned.

TL;DR

Ok, what I hate in pinball (Not in any particular order...)

Broken anything, but broken flippers? Come on guys... give it a little effort, huh?

Any mode that switches left and right flipper buttons. Nope. Let that crap time out. Or stand on your head on the lockbar backwards, your choice. (Don’t waste any time thinking about that, it don’t work, trust me)

Shakers that set off tilts. Talk about “Edging”... a shaker is not supposed to edge your tilts people. Just saying...

Hair trigger Tilts set with a feeler gauge. Really, guys? I thought LESS damage to the machine is what you are going for?

Unlevel playfield left to right. Seriously? So right orbit to left sling seems fine to you? Yeah...ah... No.

Floaters. And, no, not the kind left in backwash, but the kind you get when someone puts the legs on backwards. Anyone got a wrench?

Anyone who leaves a pin on its legs in the bed of a pickup truck while moving it, although they end up getting theirs eventually. RIP poor pinball machines.

Operators who leave their number on a card behind the glass... “This number is no longer in service...please check the number and dial again, or ask your OPERATOR for assistance”... ok that is just a massive dose of IRONY dudes...

People who refuse to play doubles. I get it but, can’t we take turns having fun instead of me breathing down your neck until you to get pissed off and leave? “Don’t walk away angry... just walk away.” (I wait patiently though, I’m not a dick)

People who want to play doubles... haha, just seeing if you are paying attention.

People who think the answer to every pinball problem can be solved with a used pack of matches. Ok, for keeping the coin door jammed shut, and as a makeshift contact cleaner, but that ain't ever keeping a machine level while I play it.

Sticky flippers, sticky flipper buttons, or worse, something sticky on the buttons... Ewww...

Crap jammed in the coin slots thinking that it is somehow helping. Unless its jammed with quarters, then bang that coin door and punch the rejects folks, because I am getting rich... ok, well maybe enough for a couple of games, but certainly not enough for college tuition, although that would have come in handy back then.

Fluids on the glass... just... no. I will spare the details, but drinks on a machine, just not a fan. Add the word “bodily” to that and it jumps from a solid “NOPE!” up to “No effin’ Way”... Don’t move, I’ll go get you a towel...

Cigarette burns on the lockbar, cabinet, flipper buttons?!? Yeah, seen it firsthand, and yes, he did burn his fingers too. Hell of a ball before he lost it while screaming “F-this and F-that”... just like Stallone, he had his balls cupped just a little bit too long. I couldn’t stop laughing. I told him not to smoke and flip, but would he listen to me, noooooo.

Missing plunger tips. I was going to poke fun at my friend Dave until he reminded me my tip was missing too. Touche.

Broken rubbers, although broken flipper rubbers are not nearly as big a life changing event as the other kind.

Machines set for more than a buck a play. Its a game of pinball, not a full body massage. And get your mind out of the gutter, I was talking about those $5 massage chairs in the mall.

Machines with the volume set to “Felonious”. I get it, you like your “Number of the Beast” at spine liquifying decibel levels, but when I can physically feel my sperm count drop as I play, that is too loud.

Machines with a 1000 Watt external subwoofer. I want a little rumble, not calls from the Siesmic Reporting Agency telling me I was the epicenter of a major earthquake. If my hands and feet feel numb after playing, thats more than a just little rumble dude, thats outright nerve damage.

Seizure inducing LEDs. Get with the program folks. This is not Americas Most Haunted... I should not have to guess where the ball is when I flip. Ghosting LEDs are so 2018.

Color changing LED’s. The random cycling of the color just reminds me of the random firings of the neurons in your brain when you decided to put these in your machine.

Color GI LED’s done wrong... and really, has anyone really ever got it 100% right? I have seen some interesting uses of LEDs in pinball, but GI lighting is one that must be done “delicately” to quote the old witch. It is unfortunate that some people use a jackhammer and a sledge to change out their tungsten lamps for LEDs, though. Anyone got an icepick and cup of water? My retinas are on fire.

Purple and fuchia LEDs in abundance. This one puzzles me... I can’t tell if they are going for Best Drag Queen of the show, or if they are just “Fabulous” and want to share it with the world. My problem is the color, though, not their orientation. Just like me, not every pinball machine looks good in drag. You just can not unsee that Demolition Man though... <shudder>

Thanks for coming everybody. Try the veal, I’m here till next Thursday (literally... since, like, flying to TPF and all...)

And I am keeping my day job, just in case any of you are worried.

#128 7 months ago
Quoted from Frippertron:

Oh and the dog, Striker, sucks ass.

But frippertron, can you tell us how you really feel about JPop, I mean WCS... and don’t pull any punches?

#140 7 months ago
Quoted from goingincirclez:

I *hate* slot-head screws

Does anyone remember Erector Sets or Mechanno? +1 on slot hate, I mean slotted screw hate.

P.s. I upvoted your post for the term “jug of haterade” because it made me shoot OJ out my nose.

#146 7 months ago
Quoted from RandomGuyOffCL:

Hate TNA, such a poser hipster game...just picture a bunch of neatly trimmed bearded dudes bobbing their heads to rave music while wearing flannels &amp; tight jeans holding a craft beer in one hand and slapping each other’s butts when their turns up with the other...

Dude, like Why? Now I can not “unsee” this image in my mind... I have to agree on TNA, though, it felt like playing a Bally SpAcE InVaDeRs on steroids and it was experiencing ‘roid rage.

#180 7 months ago
Quoted from Frippertron:

I hate this sample and prototype crap. Unless it's a game that never made it to production, I just can't get behind it and don't see much value. Sorry bud but that TZ is worth 6500 not 65000.

At first I thought you wanted to get rid of sample and prototype games all together, but you hate sample and prototype/whitewood value inflation, not the concept of sample and prototype games... yeah, they are rare, but their intrinsic value is debatable. I have to come clean and admit, we sacrificed a Roller Games sample game to build a whitewood back in the 90’s. The cabinet was eventually turned into the VP video pin I still have in the gameroom.

#189 7 months ago

Ok, because I guess I am in the minority, I have to post this here. I effin’ HATE Cactus Canyon. Sorry, that wasn’t harsh enough. Let me take another patented “Bublehead” swipe at it...

If the Lord, my God came down from Heaven, an army of Angels by his/her side, and marched directly up to a pile of every Cactus Canyon machine on the planet, pulled out their Righteous Swords of Glorious Retribution and chopped them into a pile of the finest of kindling, and then after that troupe of rabble rousers had ascended back into the clouds, if the ground opened up and the Devil his self crawled forth, pitchfork held high, followed directly by an army of demons with flame throwers ablaze and encircled the splintered pile of birch, maple, and particle wood and at his command, let loose a barrage of napalm and flamming carnage that obliterated the remains into a smoldering heap of white ash, AND THEN a cyclone, the largest one ever seen by the eyes of a common man or God came through and erased from existance the very last trace of that shallow coded, unfinished, half baked, final gasp of a dying breed of pinball machine, it would be none too soon in my book for me. Just saying.

#194 7 months ago
Quoted from ctviss:

I hate when remake club threads are filled with people whining about their game being delayed

I understand your hate, but this is an un-acquired hate that usually passes around month 5 or 6 of the wait for a new machine. Once you have been in this predicament, upside down on $8 grand with nothing to show for it after 6 months, you tend to change your tune and start bitching in the club/owner threads no mater if you are a master of Zen in waiting on it or not... Every normal, non-pinhead I know thinks we are all nuts waiting longer than 3 months for anything these days, and production delays, I HATE to tell you, are not my fault. I am perfectly alright with your hate of me, but give a pin brother room to bitch, because this is one time when I think we are justified. Please feel free to ammend your list to include your hate of people who hate being hated on for fairly valid reasons in non-pinhead people’s minds. I’ll wear that badge with honor and pride.

#196 7 months ago
Quoted from Patentlaw:

I hate you for that

And that is the kind of hate I really love... wait, this is a hate thread... God damn it! Now I’m loving in a hate thread... this wait for my MBrLE is got me totally backwards now...

#227 7 months ago

I hate waiting.

Hello, my name is Bublehead, and I am a Waitaholic.

“Hi, Bublehead”

I think all pinheads are Waitaholics. We don't wait well for anything- new pins, GB code, Schematics, production and delivery schedule updates, Manufacturer reveals, Company announcements, Problem Ticket resolutions, Company responses to common problems, Any code update from anyone, Anything from Stern, Anything from JJP, Anything from CGC (a personal fav)...

Hell, Just about anything from anyone.

#230 7 months ago
Quoted from littlecammi:

biting me in the ass

When you want to buy a pin it’s “our” money and “your” machine.
When you sell its “our” machine and “her” money.

I hate that too.

#234 7 months ago
Quoted from TomT:

Of all the pins I've owned I only hate two Big Guns

I love how Big Guns looks... but hate how easy it is to “finish”. I went to see a guy about buying one, chocked up a single game, saved the queen, put up GC, thanked him for the game, and declined his offer to buy it. Big guns is a beautiful example of Pythons color pencil artwork. It’s depth is shockingly shallow for today, and was questionably easy back in the 80’s.

1 week later
#242 6 months ago

I hate people who hate to read long posts and then write a long post about hating to read long posts.

#251 6 months ago
Quoted from RandomGuyOffCL:

as they all began to start unbuttoning their shirts in unison I ran for my life...

Ok, I like this guy. I can not wait for chapter II of the saga, “Which way did he gOoooo!?”

A partial read from it...

Chad reached around and quickly flipped my ball from over my right shoulder... “Thank you Chad, I would have missed that money shot...” I said in a low voice, while sipping my Zima with my free hand and stroked my flipper with the other...

#259 6 months ago

Beat on it, I don’t care, tilt the sucker while your at it. But please, drop another quarter or buck in the coin box. If he don’t like me beating on it, set the tilt tighter. Dont piss and moan if I tilt it to shake a ball loose because your butt is glued to your chair. You don’t want my money, I will gladly leave. I don’t like OCD owners looking to see that I didn’t slap save a fingernail scratch into their “precious”... this goes for huo guys too. Don’t drop kick your machine in a tournament and get pissed when I just knock a little dust off the top of the back box with a triple tilt...

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