Quoted from Frippertron:
My wife counts my beers all the time. I usually only drink on my weekends. As soon as she knows I’ve had more than two, she eyes me like a hawk. She yells at me, calls me an alcoholic and her famous line, “Do you know You’re not a social drinker, you have a problem.” I had 12 problems yesterday, if anyone else wants to count.
No problem a cold one can't fix! I think there's a country song in there someplace. Maybe, "you were a lot more fun when I was drinking."