11 minutes and no replies

Carl rocks, PattyJ is a pahty poopah.

Good to see your positive attitude Patty, especially since your still stuck in Carl's basement. My offer for a glorious Midwestern life is still good if should ever decide to escape. I patched up the old cow trough, I mean pool, and have the old fridge stocked full of Shasta. The only thing sweeter in life would be if you left Carl and headed out here to Missouri paradise. I will keep the coleman lantern lit for ya darling. SB

Carl's Basement? Man...that guy gets AROUND. He shacked up his own city south of Dallas and the only thing that was in it as far as I know of was the Carl's Corner truck stop!

For the last time, the baby isn't mine. I pulled out way early.

Good way to stay out of trouble....

LIONMAN!

Dammit Jay! I was gonna say that!

If you dont know who PattyJ is, do yourself a favor, this thread explains it:

https://pinside.com/pinball/forum/topic/pinball-lessons-hurry-slots-are-filling-up-fast

In a nutshell, there was once upon a time a craigslist ad by a gentleman named Carl advertising pinball lessons. This is what the ad said way back when:

"Hello my name is Carl and I am offering up my pinball experteese for $50 dollars a hour. I am currently ranked 163rd domestically and 538th internationally and I will teach you any technique you need to master as found here..... http://www.ipdb.org/playing/advanced.html I will also teach you my patent pending breathing regimen. For $50 you get an hour of extreme coaching either at my place (no miners or unaccompanied women) (due to past issues with a liar named Patty J.) I have 6 top quality machines that work 100%. Or I can come to your place ($25) travel fee and help you master one of your games. If I host I do offer a 10 minite break where I offer a sandwhich with your choice from 3 deli meats and american cheese with a shasta brand soda. (the pepsi products are for my son and me) I am available everyday except thurs when my mom and Jeff come over to watch their programs that i record for them. Also sometimes Jeff wants me to film him bench pressing in the game room so that room is off at that time. Slots are filling up so email me soon to get in. Thank you."

Patty J likes LIONMAN, so you are good in our eyes.

Patty J is da bomb, Trophy agreed she can be on my 5list.

Let me guess, ...you've recently been selected to be the primary person for an upcoming international ad campaign and commercials on tv to help promote Shasta drink products.
Sorta like Flo for Progressive, except that you're better looking than Flo.

I like drama.

PattyJ. The way you want Pinside to be, is the way Canada IS. C'mon up and visit us anytime. It's all free healthcare and rainbows up here!

Good God, that's all my grandmother used to buy. "Hey Gram, can I have a Coke?" "No, only have Shasta!" *heavy cringe*

Pinball, Friday Night, Alcohol, and the internet. It must be Pinside.

She's announcing our new t-shirt venture. We've partnered together and will soon be offering "I Got Choggarded" and "Don't Choggard Me Bro" t-shirts for sale to the public "shortly'ish"

I would actually consider buying that.

Might actually print some for this year's Free Play Florida Nov. 21st-23rd

Re-reading this never gets old.

I would buy one for my friend Phil!

I can't decide which I want more, for it to be real, or for it to be a work of comedy genius.

Would that be considered a safe word for Pinsiders outside of Pinside? "PayPal safe.... no Choggardly stuff"

I would buy them, then sell to Choggard, so he could resell it after it gets dirty and stained for more than my original purchase price to the ignorant.

Phase 3 = profit.

Choggard shirts gnomes.jpeg

I love this idea!
So does Kate Upton
kate-upton-cat-daddy.gif

Great..... now I can’t think.

Ha!

Whenever I read Blondetall's name:^^^^ This is what I see in my mind^^^! Lol
Love me some Kate Upton!

My favorite part might be the random mention of him filming Jeff lifting weights and of course the deli meats and shasta.

Guess no. 2:
PattyJ will be joining other Pinsiders in Chicago at upcoming Pinball Expo 2014.

You picked a good year to go PattyJ. Will probably be the best Expo in years.

Thank you Jake from Atlanta for the other thread in a nut shell:

TAGS
$50 Make You Holla!
Autographed Carl Hardbody
Best Spent $50? Pinball Or Patty J
Breathing Techniques
CANNA BROTHA GETTA SHASTA
Carl's Son Hogged All The Pepsi
Carls Jr. Founder Moonlighting
Cheese
Creepy Dude Not Allowed Around Minors
Deli Meats
Do You Know Jeff?
Don't Eat The Sandwich!
Extreme CoachingFilm At 11:00
Filming A Dude Bench PressingFilming Jeff
FS: Diner With Onion Loaf Topper
George Lucas Signed My Meat
Have Salami - Will Travel (For An Extra $25)
Heavy Breathing With My Meat
Here We Go With The Tags Again!
Hey Kid...Wanna Shasta?
HO Hey...Patty J
I Must Break You
I Want My $50!
I'd Rather Go To Subway
I'm The Next Best Thing!
Jeff Broke VCR With Flying Dumbbell
Jeff Does 12 Oz Curls With Shasta
Jeff Kills Carls Gerbil - An In-Depth Look
Jeff Pumps My Meat
Jeff Wantz To Pump...You Up
Lamaze Pinball...Who Knew?!?
LesManley Teaches Patty J Thing Or TwoLessonsMan With Big Salami Teaches
PinballMénage A Tois With Jeff And Carl's Mom
Minors Banned - Carl Must Not Be A Priest
Mystery Meats
Naked
Hairy Pirate Hookers
No Fear In This Dojo!
No Mercy In This Dojo!
No Miners Or Liars Allowed!
NO PEPSI FOR YOU
No Underground Workers Allowed At Lessons
No Woman Allowed
Pat My J
Patent-Pending Breathing Technique
Patty J
Patty J Why I Became A Vegetarian
Patty J Loved My Meat
Patty J Ran Off With Winston McGillicutty
Patty J Said She Loved Me
Patty J Took It In The Shasta
Pinball Experteese Training
Pinball Lessons And Autographs.
Possible Relative To DESW Kid
Roofies And Shasta
Salami And Balls
Salami FlippersShasta
Shasta And Pinball = Heaven
Single Women Love Lunch Meat Too
This Is A Karate Dojo Not A Nitting Class
True Life Stories Of Pinball GrandMasters
Unaccompanied Women Will Be Slapped With Meat
Women Can Vote But Banned From Pinball. News At 11
Copied and pasted the tags since there is a possibility an overzealous mod may delete them.

Excellent read just a little tag heavy.

Well, my husband certainly wouldnt mind if I looked like her, but I'm pretty sure he would be disappointed in the severe reduction of boob size he'd have to endure if I did turn into her. Some of us live further up the alphabet...

Pics or it did not happen!

Lol
+1

Oh my

pm sent.

Epic announcements are always fun.... no idea what that 'past' stuff was, doesn't really involve me, but what the heck I'll watch for it.

Next year, I'm going to have to bring my machines to PAGG and hope I get a PattyJ's seal of approval like she did this year to the machines she liked!

That ad is literally the reason I keep Shasta at my house now. That thread competed with signed DESW for sure when it first came out.

Oh yes, the apron of destiny. I wonder where that magical item is these days. I had some awesome trade offers for it. I wanted some pinball lessons from Carl but i couldn't track him down.