(Topic ID: 242942)

Oh GOD my genes suck SO HARD


By EalaDubhSidhe

10 days ago



Topic Stats

  • 34 posts
  • 24 Pinsiders participating
  • Latest reply 6 days ago by Multiballmaniac1
  • Topic is favorited by 1 Pinsider

You

#1 10 days ago

Out of four siblings on my mother's side, ALL FOUR after their father have or had came down with Alzheimer's. Word got to me recently of my aunt's passing, as if I wasn't freaked out enough over dementia already. I'm almost 50 with a long history of depression, anxiety and self-loathing, plus god knows how many other unresolved issues; on top of all that, I'm really worried that before too long my mental faculties may well start living on borrowed time. And as well-meaning as it may be to say 'chin up, it may never happen', the image of my mother, gaunt but clinging to life for years in a care home while being utterly dead inside, has continually haunted me. But I eventually rationalised that bar any other conditions, should the worst be passed down I still have a good fifteen years left will no ill-effects.

At least I did, until Monday.

Barely a week after the previous news, I get the call that my mother has now reached the Alzheimers end-of-life stage, no longer being able to physically swallow. And nobody EVER wants a loved one to go in the worst drawn-out way imaginable, literally starving to death because there's not enough left to properly function. I always thought, selfishly, that when the end came it would be some form of relief.

I went through the paranoia meltdown phase the last time, so that at least didn't happen again... but it isn't. At all.

Positive thinking is no benefit at this moment, it's been tossed right in the river like a sack of unwanted kittens. To coin a Dark Souls phrase, I've turned hollow. Right now apart from the doldrums there's nothing else left to feel. I know other people care. I only wish I had the energy and ability to.

#2 10 days ago

Exercise is key my friend. Eating right too. Those are your best defensive maneuvers. Marijuana can help too.

#3 10 days ago

I’m sorry for what you’re going through... Your genes are continuing to evolve... Exersice can and will help if you make a routine of it. Trust me. And eating right is essential my friend.

Keep your head up eldubside

....Praise the sun....

#4 10 days ago

Sorry to read this. I had a loved one pass slowly in a similar fashion, and it certainly isn't easy to watch. I would think she probably would want you to try to go on with life and enjoy life the best that you can, even though she cannot share it with you. I'd try to get some fresh air and sunshine and remember and celebrate the good times you shared.
Chin up, brother pinhead.

#5 9 days ago

As trite as it may sound, try to be thankful for every day and not panic about the possible future. None of us, good or bad genes has a guarantee of a tomorrow. I have a friend who has better than normal genes, who is now in a powered wheel chair because of a car accident. And his attitude toward life is truly an inspiration. He still blesses and attacks every day with a "make the best of what you have" attitude. And being one myself who leans toward the "worry about tomorrow", depression side of life. I really take inspiration from his example. So look around, you have it so much better than many. Try to take comfort from that.

13
#6 9 days ago

Thank you for sharing.

When the darkness floods the mind there is no amount of “chin up” that can make it go away. I feel for you on so many of your points. I have found that the darkness does pass, so you need to pass the time until it does. When I feel my lowest I will busy myself with chores. Clean the garage. Mow the law. Clean out my email inbox. Clean the kitchen. I have found that the chores give my mind time to wander and eventually clear up a bit. The added bonus of a chore completed gives you a bit of a “win” and even the little wins are important.

Keep talking. Make grabbing a beer/coffee/meal with a friend/coworker/family member something you put on your schedule. I have been surprised by how many others need to just talk sometimes, too.

Don’t live in fear of losing your mind. You are aware it’s a possibility (I am pretty certain it is how I will someday go, too) so live each day well and take care of those around you. You just may need them to take care of you someday down the line.

Aaron
FAST Pinball

#7 9 days ago

I know how you feel. All my aunts and uncles on my dads side including my dad got Alzheimer's disease. My mom has it now and I had to become her guardian 5 months ago. One of my uncles and my half sister died from early onset Alzheimer's. I just turned 60 and sometimes when I get forgetful it scares the living shit out of me but you just have to go on and enjoy your life. There is nothing you can do about it but take care of yourself and hope it doesn't happen to you. I don't dwell on it personally. It'll just drive you crazy. Not worth it.

#8 9 days ago

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2019/05/15/dementia-alzheimers-exercise-diet-healthy-lifestyle-can-prevent-it-who/3676575002/

Get active daily and if nothing else, the endorphins will help you feel better and more positive. Getting old sucks the big one. I think a lot of people feel the way you do to some extent. When you reach that age where parents and other family members start dropping it's natural to start doing the math on your own mortality. It's rough, especially if you are a glass half empty kind of person like me

You can take some solace in the fact that we're all "living" in a simulation anyway...that's what the nerds say at least.

Good Luck.

#9 9 days ago

sorry for the pain you are experiencing.

#10 9 days ago

I lost my mom 5 years ago to dementia and now my father has it too. He's in a care home right now. They never ate bad or had other bad habits. I think it's something in the environment people are exposed to. It's not a natural part of aging.

Rob

#11 9 days ago

You are not alone Dude
Similar predicament as Mum has dementia, Dad is dying of Oesophagus Cancer, I have had to delay surgery on my leg which the first surgery didn't fix and the list goes on!
How do I manage?
Speak with a psychologist, friends, family etc. Don't be scared to ask for help as you have done here. Take time out to meditate, this can include having a coffee, but find your chill out zone. Make sure you eat correct and look after your self.
GO WITH THE FLOW and don't read too much into the negative.
Accept it is part of life.
Good luck mate

#12 8 days ago
Quoted from EalaDubhSidhe:

the image of my mother, gaunt but clinging to life for years in a care home while being utterly dead inside, has continually haunted me

You'd think Death with Dignity laws would be more widespread at this point. Nobody in their right mind would want to live or die like that. I certainly wouldn't. Hopefully, she'll have some peace soon.

My FIL just went in for his 3rd surgery and 5th hospital stint in the last 2 months. I hope this is it and he gets better, but his quality of life has been shit since that first surgery. He's not in a good place mentally.

#13 8 days ago
Quoted from DCRand:

Look around, you have it so much better than many. Try to take comfort from that.

My Mom used to say "I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet" as a way to teach her kids not to complain about their lot in life. But it's the American way to always compare yourself to those who are better off or have more than you have, not those who are worse off or have less.

Quoted from jhanley:

I just turned 60 and sometimes when I get forgetful it scares me.

My Mom skipped two years of grade school because she was highly intelligent. She was mentally sharp as a tack into her eighties before her mind failed. Dementia took away the smart person we knew and left behind one who lived in a memory care facility the last three years before dying recently at 91. Now I worry about how long it will be before my own dementia sets in and I lose the mental acumen I inherited from my Mother?

#14 8 days ago

All I can say is to work hard to live in the present. You talk about having 15 years; you might have 15 days. Best of luck to you.

#15 8 days ago
Quoted from JoeGrenuk:

All I can say is to work hard to live in the present. You talk about having 15 years; you might have 15 days. Best of luck to you.

Ain't that the truth. A guy I worked with went from healthy to dead in weeks from stomach cancer. He wasn't even old. It was just a very aggressive cancer.

#16 8 days ago

There is data linking Alzheimers disease and chronic inflammation. Scientific studies have shown correlations between periodontal disease and diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and more recently, a plausible link between periodontal disease and Alzheimer’s. I mean, who would of thought that flossing could prevent a heart attack.

#17 8 days ago

My mom was moved to a nursing home a few weeks ago. Alzheimer’s has taken its toll on her. She no longer knows who I am. It’s a damn shame that we make people suffer through it. She almost passed a year ago from a heart issue, and not to be cold, but most of the family was hoping it’d just come to a peaceful end for her. I love my mother and hate to watch her suffer. It’s an awful disease.

She has 3 sisters. One already died from Alzheimer’s. One of the other sisters has it as bad as my mother. The last sister has no trace of it. What’s the difference? Life choices. None of them smoked or drank. But the symptom free sister exercises regularly, eats well and is very socially active. She made me a true believer that it’s a preventable disease. My mother was rather sedentary and loved chocolate.

I’m not sure why we can put down a family pet when the time is right, yet we force pain and suffering on our loved ones. It’s part of our culture that I truly do not agree with.

#18 8 days ago

Just know you are not alone even if it feels that way. Your post was moving. Thank you for sharing and reaching out. Sometimes all we can do is breathe.

#19 8 days ago
Quoted from Multiballmaniac1:

Exercise is key my friend. Eating right too. Those are your best defensive maneuvers. Marijuana can help too.

Yes, weed solves everything, even prevents Alzheimers. LMAO.

#20 8 days ago
Quoted from Rob_G:

I lost my mom 5 years ago to dementia and now my father has it too. He's in a care home right now. They never ate bad or had other bad habits. I think it's something in the environment people are exposed to. It's not a natural part of aging.
Rob

from everything I read about it, they say it's caused by excessive amounts of aluminum deposits in your brain. I think back when many people would use a lot of aluminum pots and pans, when you used to clean them the water would be silver. They are finding a connection to it.

#21 8 days ago
Quoted from EalaDubhSidhe:

I'm really worried that before too long my mental faculties may well start living on borrowed time

Do a 23&ME genetics test. They aren't perfect but they will identify any genetic deficiencies and alert you about your risks. Like I said, they aren't perfect but a $100 genetics test could be the start for a few conversations with your primary doctor about mental health & Alzheimers.

#22 8 days ago

Don't ever do a DNA test. They sell your profile data. Read up on it.

Exercise is the key. I need to get back into a routine myself. It's the best thing to keep you pain free, active and positive.

Everyone is dealing with something. You are not alone.

#23 8 days ago
Quoted from Edster:

Don't ever do a DNA test. They sell your profile data. Read up on it.
Exercise is the key. I need to get back into a routine myself. It's the best thing to keep you pain free, active and positive.
Everyone is dealing with something. You are not alone.

You can register your sample in a fictitious name, that's what I did. There's nothing that says you have to identify yourself. When you send your sample in, it's registered to a code, and you register under any name you want using any email you want with that code.

#24 8 days ago
Quoted from Multiballmaniac1:

Exercise is key my friend. Eating right too. Those are your best defensive maneuvers. Marijuana can help too.

To use those in the correct order...is to exercise first, then get stoned, then make sure there is nothing but fruits and veggies in the kitchen. If a fella gets them out of order, it won’t work properly.

#25 7 days ago
Quoted from Blitzburgh99:

Exercise first then get stoned. If you get them out of order it won’t work properly.

But it sure can be funny watching a stoned guy try to exercise.

#26 7 days ago
Quoted from Edster:

Don't ever do a DNA test. They sell your profile data. Read up on it.

You are correct but your fear is misguided. 1984 has already passed. Everyone tracks everything. They have your DNA profile already. Ever given blood for anything?

Ever heard of Palantir? Everything is tracked! Where you shop, live, who you associated with, what you watch, how many games where you let the ball drain, etc, etc

If a DNA test can alert you to late or early Alzheimer's, then it's worth it.

Good luck OP.

#27 6 days ago
Quoted from littlecammi:

But it sure can be funny watching a stoned guy try to exercise.

I can do 95 pull-ups after a few puffs. Most men can’t do 5 straight.

#28 6 days ago
Quoted from Multiballmaniac1:

I can do 95 pull-ups after a few puffs. Most men can’t do 5 straight. Beta vs alpha.

Well, as long as you think you're doing 95.... That's what counts

#29 6 days ago
Quoted from yzfguy:

Well, as long as you think you're doing 95.... That's what counts

I can actually do more than that. My max was 125. Had an injury knocked it down and plateau at 95 right now.

#30 6 days ago

So sorry to hear this man, I have no words that can help but am in your corner.

#31 6 days ago
Quoted from Multiballmaniac1:

Exercise is key my friend. Eating right too. Those are your best defensive maneuvers. Marijuana can help too.

My grandfather was the healthiest person that I have ever known in my life (I am 54). He was an athlete (he was a catcher for the Hollywood Stars minor league team and the Padres were interested in signing him, but he chose a different path). He exercised every single day. He was extremely careful about his diet. When he would stay at our house when I was a kid, and even after we had grown up, he would make comments about things that he would see us eat, letting us know that it may not be the best thing for us.

Regardless of his very healthy eating habits and being religious about exercising every day, even as he got older, he did get Alzheimers. Of course this doesn't mean that exercise and eating right can't help reduce the chances, but it's not a guarantee either.

#32 6 days ago
Quoted from RobT:

My grandfather was the healthiest person that I have ever known in my life (I am 54). He was an athlete (he was a catcher for the Hollywood Stars minor league team and the Padres were interested in signing him, but he chose a different path). He exercised every single day. He was extremely careful about his diet. When he would stay at our house when I was a kid, and even after we had grown up, he would make comments about things that he would see us eat, letting us know that it may not be the best thing for us.
Regardless of his very healthy eating habits and being religious about exercising every day, even as he got older, he did get Alzheimers. Of course this doesn't mean that exercise and eating right can't help reduce the chances, but it's not a guarantee either.

Exercise is basically an insurance plan controlled by you, yes it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be fine just because of that. I get that. I have to watch my prostate cancer possibility, it killed my grandfather and my father had his out and is fine now. Hereditary. Me exercising probably can’t stop it from being a upcoming event.

#33 6 days ago

I read an interesting article that said giving up your DNA is not only bad for you but for others in your family ie, it might make you un-insurable or even your family for a pre-destined illness. Personally, I would stay away. They even want you to opt out for organ transplants. Once they do that, I am totally out. The cost for doing a DNA test is way more than what they charge and the reason for that is your DNA is worth lots more to the right buyer. Big pharmas are already on board. No thank you.

Yes 1984 has already passed and it was several years too soon. 2019 is way worse but you are entitled to give up whatever you like. Maybe just read the fine print first?

Quoted from Tomahawkjim:

You are correct but your fear is misguided. 1984 has already passed. Everyone tracks everything. They have your DNA profile already. Ever given blood for anything?
Ever heard of Palantir? Everything is tracked! Where you shop, live, who you associated with, what you watch, how many games where you let the ball drain, etc, etc
If a DNA test can alert you to late or early Alzheimer's, then it's worth it.
Good luck OP.

#34 6 days ago
Quoted from Edster:

I read an interesting article that said giving up your DNA is not only bad for you but for others in your family ie, it might make you un-insurable or even your family for a pre-destined illness. Personally, I would stay away. They even want you to opt out for organ transplants. Once they do that, I am totally out. The cost for doing a DNA test is way more than what they charge and the reason for that is your DNA is worth lots more to the right buyer. Big pharmas are already on board. No thank you.
Yes 1984 has already passed and it was several years too soon. 2019 is way worse but you are entitled to give up whatever you like. Maybe just read the fine print first?

100% agreed. The dna 23andme profile company is ran by google. Ok sure I’ll give ya my dna.

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