Like the layout. Only had a chance to peek at the 2nd and would recommend maybe trying to talk through the playing, talk about what your trying to do, explain the shot, how you approach it, rebound from a bad shot.. something to put the viewer into the room and give them something to relate to and form a response and relationship.

Would also suggest experimenting with lighting. You can keep a dark look but retain some detail with a little effort.

I get free access to Lynda.com a great tutorial site, for free. You might see if your library has the same. If it does they have some great video for the web on a budget tutorials, one specifically for lighting that comes to mind.

Kudo's for getting out there and bringing pinball to the public. Good luck!