(Topic ID: 197540)

My Son Plays High School Football...Am I A Monster?


By Chisox

2 years ago



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  • Latest reply 2 years ago by MikeS
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    #51 2 years ago

    We all could get hurt or killed everyday just driving in traffic. Football is dangerous, but it teaches a lot to be part of a team. Good experience if the kid wants to play. Should never be forced to do so. Glad some kids want to be men someday. Could be soccer or tee-ball. If you don't want to get hurt.......stay in bed all day, and that's no guarantee.........

    #52 2 years ago
    Quoted from Frippertron:

    Just remember a 90 mph fastball to the head has ended many a baseball career. Don Zimmer almost died and a couple others did.

    I eventually stopped playing after getting beaned by wild pitchers too many times. No lasting injuries, but fastballs tend to hurt, especially after getting hit multiple times in a single season (though they were probably closer to 50-60 mph, rather than 90+). I was a pretty good batter at the time, so maybe pitchers would rather bean me than let me get a hit, I dunno. There were a few other things that made it not so fun any more, but that was the most memorable reason.

    #53 2 years ago
    Quoted from Blacksun:

    GO LWC Knights!!!!
    I live in Mokena...

    Hah I had to downvote that one.

    #54 2 years ago

    The worst bean I ever got was in college form a 92 mph fastball that hit me on the knot of the ankle. It hurt quite a bit but a shook it off played the last couple innings at first base, went home iced it went to bed not too bad. Felt okay. I woke up in the morning and tried to get outta bed and collapsed. My ankle was 4 times the size. I missed school for a week. Fun times!

    #55 2 years ago

    Are you a monster? Doesn't sound so, in fact, just the opposite. Of course, YOU saying "no" may lead to rebellion.

    I keep asking when high schools will drop football, and I'm pretty certain it's going to be soon. Insurance will rise, due to documented risk, and with it programs will disappear.

    It stinks he's been doing it for so long, and that he excels in the sport. That is the tough nut.

    Good luck, I don't envy your situation. Often we hide the obvious truth due to confrontation or inconvenience.

    #56 2 years ago
    Quoted from Chisox:

    Well we do live in the Chicago area where no one is safe from the flying bullets.

    Those mean streets of Frankfort! He's not a left-handed pitcher is he? That decision would be easy.

    #57 2 years ago

    I'm a lefty. I couldn't throw strikes enough but I had a mean 12 to 6 David Wells type curveball. My coaches always wanted me to pitch. I would get 2 out's and then walk 3 guys. My pitching career didn't last long.

    #58 2 years ago
    Quoted from Dewey68:

    Those mean streets of Frankfort! He's not a left-handed pitcher is he? That decision would be easy.

    Haha yeah nothing but gang bangers on these streets. It's not FF I'm worried about, it's driving on the expressways. Unbelievable how many people are being shot, at all times of the day and night. He's a pitcher but sadly a right hander.

    #59 2 years ago

    It's not that there are no lefties it just most lefties can't throw a strike for some reason. I suffered from that myself.

    #60 2 years ago

    It's a tough decision, and I totally get all the different viewpoints. I've always loved football, and I would never otherwise give advice on this topic unless asked, and you did.

    There is alot of anecdotal, passive defensive and hidden emotional advice in this thread. It's pure Pinside. A bunch of middle aged men who have "been there and done that" saying "go ahead! Strap it up, have fun! Back in my day.....blah blah blah". This issue is bigger than that...and as a society we are only on the precipice...huge changes are on the horizon, and for good reason.

    Quoted from Yoski:

    Each concussion raises your risk of Alzheimer, stroke and other neurological problems by around 10% per incident depending on severity. Those are the straight up facts. Is it worth it? That's a very personal decision everybody has to figure out for themselves.

    Yup. And it's not just the blows to the head that are of big concern. It's the repeated violent snapping movemeant of the head and neck on high impact hits, which sends the brain slamming back and forth against the sides of the head like a pinball between two slingshots.

    Quoted from Methos:

    It isn't the concussions that do the permanent damage. It's the repeated strikes/blows to the head. I was a school board member for a few terms and we had many meetings on the issue.
    I would not allow my children to play football, but it's a personal choice.

    See above. And it's everything with regard to brain damage. Concussions can and will do permanent damage. This is science people. Maybe not as conclusive as Climate Change science (that's for you Pinside) but pretty damn conclusive.

    Quoted from Malenko:

    I agree with vicjw66 , you cant live your life covered in bubble wrap. You aren't a monster. You did your due diligence and read up on the reports and discussed it with your wife then came to your decision; that's called great parenting.

    I think the OP is worried and looking for a rationalization. He came to the right place. The OP is obviously a concerned father. Maybe you did enough due diligence and maybe you didn't OP. At this point, what's your gut tell you?

    Quoted from Malenko:

    Football is safer today than it was 20 years ago but I'm not going to dispute that there is still risk.

    Wow, big of you to admit there's "still a risk". What are you basing your "football is safer today" statement on? I'll give you an opportunity to answer before I go off on that.

    Quoted from Ballsofsteel:

    we all die, let the kid have some fun before he does.

    Is this the best you can do?

    Quoted from blueberryjohnson:

    There's a difference between living life in bubblewrap and soberly electing to not play football

    I love this answer. Thank you.

    Quoted from woody76:

    as long as he enjoys it let him play. I am so tired of the world looking at the downside of everything. I played football myself and have friends that played all the way up through college with zero effects, mental or physical.

    Because me and my friends are OK, what's the problem? The "downside" you refer to didn't exist until we had the evidence that there was a downside. Before that we were ignorant. And the evidence is unequivocal and heartbreaking. Taking the "downside" into account isn't being pessimistic, it's being informed. And making informed decisions shouldn't be criticized any way.

    Quoted from Chisox:

    This is another good point. I know a LOT of guys who played football through college without any noticeable consequences. I understand it's difficult to argue with science, but I haven't run across anyone in real life (my life) that this has affected. Again, hoping the baseball bug takes over.

    Even if that's true it's anecdotal. Do you really know if they ever forget things? Or get confused? Absorb and retain information the way they used to? Would you - or they - even know how to measure one way or the other?

    All that said, I still might let my son play HS football if he really wanted to. But I very well might not too. I have 2 years to decide, and I will be doing my due diligence.

    #61 2 years ago
    Quoted from TheFamilyArcade:

    Wow, big of you to admit there's "still a risk". What are you basing your "football is safer today" statement on? I'll give you an opportunity to answer before I go off on that.

    "Go off on that" if there was ever a lead to a level headed rational conversation, that's it!

    Football is safer because of rule changes; can't lead with the helmet, cant hit a defenseless receiver, no targeting,etc etc etc
    I'm hoping the NFL follows the NCAA lead in kicking players out of the game for that nonsense.
    Football is safer because of better coaching; teaching kids the correct way to tackle, better equipment

    I said that there was still a risk to show that I'm not delusional enough to think they could ever fully remove the risks of football even if they got rid of the hits and replaced it with flags. You could get hit in the head with the ball, or trip and fall, etc

    You obviously have a bias , and that's fine. I'm right in the middle and see the pros and cons ; guy asked for OPINIONS and I gave him mine. Some people are for it others aren't, I'm fine with both opinions. I'm not trying to change anyone's mind or tell them that their opinion is wrong. You CAN back up opinions with anecdotal evidence, its what they experienced to form their opinion.

    #62 2 years ago

    I'm in the medical imaging field and I can honestly say I don't image football players any more than athletes in other sports. Of course we're talking mostly joints injuries and not head trauma. I've had a lot of middle aged women who were once dancers with messed up feet than adult males with lasting football injuries. My daughter took a soccer ball straight to the face and was more hurt than I ever was playing football.

    #63 2 years ago
    Quoted from Malenko:

    "Go off on that" if there was ever a lead to a level headed rational conversation, that's it!
    Football is safer because of rule changes; can't lead with the helmet, cant hit a defenseless receiver, no targeting,etc etc etc
    I'm hoping the NFL follows the NCAA lead in kicking players out of the game for that nonsense.
    Football is safer because of better coaching; teaching kids the correct way to tackle, better equipment
    I said that there was still a risk to show that I'm not delusional enough to think they could ever fully remove the risks of football even if they got rid of the hits and replaced it with flags. You could get hit in the head with the ball, or trip and fall, etc
    You obviously have a bias , and that's fine. I'm right in the middle and see the pros and cons ; guy asked for OPINIONS and I gave him mine. Some people are for it others aren't, I'm fine with both opinions. I'm not trying to change anyone's mind or tell them that their opinion is wrong. You CAN back up opinions with anecdotal evidence, its what they experienced to form their opinion.

    I have a bias? That's funny. There's unequivocal proof. I have a brain and can read and have heard experts ad nauseum discussing the scientific proof and evidence. But you don't even need that. Use your eyes. Watch the games, see the violence and count the injuries.

    The examples you give are anecdotal, wishful, and really just grasping at straws to support your argument. Players are way bigger and way faster, hit way harder and are in better position to make the big hits because of the maturation of the sport and better coaching up and down the line.

    And there is way more incentive to kick ass on and off the field than there EVER has been EVER in the sport, at every level. Players have always been in vulnerable positions on the football field, but in the past maybe they had a chance not to get creamed by someone that's targeting their their ass like white on rice. Not anymore. It's bang bang, your dead.

    Turn on the radio, turn on the TV, read a newspaper or a magazine, google it, take your pick. Or just watch a freaking game. No one, anywhere, except you, in this thread, says that football is safer today than 20 years ago. Or 10 or 30 or 50 or ever.

    That's all.

    #64 2 years ago

    No. I played football for years. At 54 I am still going. No issues. Feel great. My dad coached high school football for 40 years and we are a big football family. Just follow the concussion protocol and you should be ok.

    -2
    #65 2 years ago
    Quoted from Miknan:

    I'm in the medical imaging field and I can honestly say I don't image football players any more than athletes in other sports. Of course we're talking mostly joints injuries and not head trauma. I've had a lot of middle aged women who were once dancers with messed up feet than adult males with lasting football injuries. My daughter took a soccer ball straight to the face and was more hurt than I ever was playing football.

    That's excellent for you. It sounds like you won't be the one(s) shooting themselves in the chest with a shotgun so science can still study their brain. Sounds like your gonna be just fine.

    -2
    #66 2 years ago
    Quoted from calprog:

    No. I played football for years. At 54 I am still going. No issues. Feel great. My dad coached high school football for 40 years and we are a big football family. Just follow the concussion protocol and you should be ok.

    And there you have it folks. Moderator, close the thread!

    #67 2 years ago
    Quoted from TheFamilyArcade:

    I have a brain.......

    But you don't even know the difference between fact and opinion, so what's the point?

    #68 2 years ago

    :popcorn:

    #69 2 years ago

    Most of it boils down to the coach and the program, unfortunately a lot of football coaches are masochistic blowhards. I never understood that. Wrestling was a way tougher sport and all my coaches were really nice guys and thought about the danger their wrestlers faced. Even at the National level. I wrestled in Germany , Iran, Azerbaijan, Georgia ( the country), Russia, and the Netherlands and all my coaches were sweethearts compared to football. I don't know what it is that recruits masochistic people without empathy into that field. The biggest pricks I ever dealt with as a player were football coaches.

    #70 2 years ago

    This is coming from a successful lineman who quit playing in his junior year of college. I was vilified by my coach . He told all the players not to talk to me or guilt me into coming back. I have no respect for the man. Doing that crap to a 20 year old kid.

    #71 2 years ago

    It's great your son is such a good player.Keep it up. I played 45 years ago still have my health and knees. Great friendships still lift weights from the football days.
    My grandson is 7 and loves flag football. My nephew now a soph never played football until freshman year
    Loyola Academy (was a soccer player) met over 100 boys from football. It's all good. Good luck.

    #72 2 years ago

    I only have daughters, but have a nephew who is now a junior playing for one of the most competitive high school teams in the country.

    Having attended one of his "summer sessions" a few weeks ago, I would have serious reservations about letting my child play. Many of these programs here in New Jersey are run like big time college programs. During the school year, these kids have two practices during the week; 6:00AM-8:00AM and 2:30PM-5:00PM. When do they have time to study?

    Also, all of the upperclassmen on the team will be playing Division I football (Penn State, Notre Dame, Boston College, Florida State, Stanford, Temple, UConn). All of these kids are big, fast and ridiculously strong. They are such accomplished athletes that many local schools will not schedule games with them for fear that the kids on their team will be severely injured. I think they're right. The team travels to play schools from FL, PA and TX in addition to their NJ schedule. They also play a CA powerhouse every other year, I believe.

    I remember when I was a kid and there would always been an ambulance at the high school game. Back then, I don't remember it ever being used. At my nephew's games, there is an ambulance, doctor, and orthopedist on the sidelines at all times and, believe me, they get a work out.

    I am sure most high school programs are not run this way, but it was an eye opening experience for me. It is definitely a tough call for many parents to make.

    #73 2 years ago

    Another thing that goes untracked is when a kid takes a hit and doesn't tell the coach or his parents that the big hit effected him in a negative way for fear of being pulled from the game.
    My brother let his son continue to play after receiving a concussion, for me if it was my kid, I would've said you're done. Hang up the cleats. I will always error on the side of safety until my kid is no longer under my roof. I also understand parents letting their kids play because it's such a blast to watch. I love fantasy football. Lol!
    It's a tough call. I'm glad I don't have to worry about such a decision.

    #74 2 years ago

    It's always hard to process new developments and studies against the tried and true traditions we have grown up with and have been drilled in to us.
    More and more research is showing the devastating impact of american football (as opposed to international football) careers, and the leagues are only beginning to acknowledge it.

    In the end you have to do what's right for you as a parent. There are no guarantees of safety anywhere, but do look at the scientific data. Don't forget that a few decades ago people thought that seatbelts were the government infringing on their good times and FREEDOMS.

    #75 2 years ago

    Everyone has to do what they feel is best. My grandfather and father both played football at high levels D1 and professional. I wasn't allowed to play at all until I was 12, even then my father strongly discouraged it. Seeing what it did to both of them later in life, I won't allow my children to play football. Just not worth it imo.

    #76 2 years ago
    Quoted from Potatoloco:

    Everyone has to do what they feel is best. My grandfather and father both played football at high levels D1 and professional. I wasn't allowed to play at all until I was 12, even then my father strongly discouraged it. Seeing what it did to both of them later in life, I won't allow my children to play football. Just not worth it imo.

    Can you expain what it did to them later in life? Just curious.

    #77 2 years ago
    Quoted from Frippertron:

    This is coming from a successful lineman who quit playing in his junior year of college. I was vilified by my coach . He told all the players not to talk to me or guilt me into coming back. I have no respect for the man. Doing that crap to a 20 year old kid.

    20 year olds re not kids. Lots of 20 year olds are ordered to do shit that will get them or someone else killed at that age in the military. College football is a business, and you were the product. Did you really expect him to behave differently?

    #78 2 years ago

    Yes, you are, football keeps him away from valuable time of pinballing.

    #79 2 years ago

    If your kid was fat lazy and failing school while smoking pot and playing Xbox in your basement all the time you'd be a monster, or a spineless wimp. But congrats on being a parent of a kid who ISN'T doing that.

    #80 2 years ago

    It is a personal choice, but after you dig into the research, it's just too much. It's like the Matrix - do you want the red pill or the blue one?

    What is disappointing is seeing first hand my state's sports association's reaction to the evidence. "Too much money to let science and our children's health get in the way." That's reality.

    #81 2 years ago

    My son's 6'3" 273lbs and has never been injured after 8 years. He loves his teammates, program, and the challenge every week. ALL sports have related injuries, it's just that football has been singled out in today's PC culture due to its "toxic masculinity"

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    #82 2 years ago
    Quoted from Methos:

    It isn't the concussions that do the permanent damage. It's the repeated strikes/blows to the head. I was a school board member for a few terms and we had many meetings on the issue.
    I would not allow my children to play football, but it's a personal choice.

    ^^^ THIS

    #83 2 years ago
    Quoted from Pinballer22:

    When I was in Highschool back in the day if you where a stud you played varsity as a freshman.
    That being said...smart kids can get a full ride and free degree while having fun playing a game.
    Upside: If he becomes the sh*t he makes bank!
    Downside: don't live life looking for the downside imo

    Your schools must have sucked. Rarely does a freshman play varsity in the league I grew up in, and we had some "studs."

    #84 2 years ago
    Quoted from embryonjohn:

    My son's 6'3" 273lbs and has never been injured after 8 years. He loves his teammates, program, and the challenge every week. ALL sports have related injuries, it's just that football has been singled out in today's PC culture due to its "toxic masculinity"

    I think it's more the fact that players were shooting themselves in the chest, but I could be wrong.

    #85 2 years ago

    My son played from grade school through high school. He had a concussion in middle school (cheap ass helmets) and tore his ACL in high school Junior year. But he wanted to play his Senior year and rehabbed and started Senior year. Mind you, this is not Texas or some other super conference. Lots of small kids out there and not nearly as competitive as some programs. And the coaches were good guys. They cared about the kids more than their record.

    Anyway, I tried to dissuade him after the ACL but he refused. He loved being part of a team and fighting for his team. He loved his teammates and coaches. They were a family and I couldn't keep him from that.

    With that said, I couldn't be happier he is not playing in college. He has taken to bowling of all things. And he kicks my ass in pinball

    #86 2 years ago
    Quoted from foxct:

    My son played from grade school through high school. He had a concussion in middle school (cheap ass helmets) and tore his ACL in high school Junior year. But he wanted to play his Senior year and rehabbed and started Senior year. Mind you, this is not Texas or some other super conference. Lots of small kids out there and not nearly as competitive as some programs. And the coaches were good guys. They cared about the kids more than their record.
    Anyway, I tried to dissuade him after the ACL but he refused. He loved being part of a team and fighting for his team. He loved his teammates and coaches. They were a family and I couldn't keep him from that.

    That was part of my thought earlier as well. By high school it really becomes a joint decision making process. I think information is gold, and balanced reasoning priceless.

    I also agree, some states are more "invested" in specific sports than others. It's easy to look in from the outside, but there is always someone looking in to our world and shaking their head too.

    #87 2 years ago

    I have read most replies, and I think I have a relatively unique opinion on this. First the short answers:

    Are you a monster? No.
    Should he play football? No.

    I have read many replies along the lines of "accidents will happen anyway", "all sports are dangerous to some degree". Etc.
    While true, I think one should take into account that american football, as well as hockey, are sports that to some degree include violence in the game itself. For me, that has been that main deciding factor when my son wanted to play hockey. I think the risks are too great as tackling (and other forms of violence) is common and quite integral to the sport.

    With that said, he rides skateboard (street, ramp and bowl), downhill mountain bike (lift assisted in bike parks), etc.
    So we do take our fair share of risks.

    But again, I think there is a big difference between suffering an accident and repeatedly participating in a sport in which violence is a planned ingredient.

    #88 2 years ago
    Quoted from Foxis:

    I think there is a big difference between suffering an accident and repeatedly participating in a sport in which violence is a planned ingredient.

    stop making sense

    #89 2 years ago

    I grew up in a magical time of lawn darts, riding in the back of pickups, no helmet when riding a bike, and I played sports,skateboarded pools and ramps as well as rode motorcycles. Sports have become much more demanding these days but I'm sure just as fun as when I played. My concern as a parent is that their activities don't interfere with developing their biggest and most important muscle their brain. It's fun to play and be a kid but you will be an adult and need to be smart for a long time

    #90 2 years ago

    As an ex football player at a high level with 2 sons, I believe there is zero reason for kids to play tackle football till junior high.

    #91 2 years ago

    Grimdog I agree, but pee wee football does prevent a lot of injuries by having weight limits. I played instructional football in 2nd or third grade and then I wasn't allowed to play again until HS because I was too big. It helps kids stay safe but prevented me from playing a sport I really liked for another 6 years or so.

    #92 2 years ago
    Quoted from Nexyss:

    20 year olds re not kids. Lots of 20 year olds are ordered to do shit that will get them or someone else killed at that age in the military. College football is a business, and you were the product. Did you really expect him to behave differently?

    I should have said why I stopped playing. I had multiple neck injuries and my orthopedic strongly suggested I stop playing football if I want to continue walking. I discussed it with my family and I agreed to stop playing. My coach thought I was being a "p#$$y" and told all the players to not associate with me. When coaches put wins and losses above their players health, that is where I draw the line.

    #93 2 years ago
    Quoted from Buzz:

    I grew up in a magical time of lawn darts, riding in the back of pickups, no helmet when riding a bike, and I played sports,skateboarded pools and ramps as well as rode motorcycles. Sports have become much more demanding these days but I'm sure just as fun as when I played. My concern as a parent is that their activities don't interfere with developing their biggest and most important muscle their brain. It's fun to play and be a kid but you will be an adult and need to be smart for a long time

    You are talking about taking a risk as a percentage of an "incident". The real danger is in the repeated blows to the head and the damage that occurs years later. Those of you with back/skull/cervical issues know what pain is like when you hit that magical age. The suffering for these kids comes years later and the sports association (including the NFL) ain't going to stop the money train. Bad knees? Get a new one. Brain/neck is damaged, your f$%^d.

    These emergency protocols around concussions are a bait and switch, nothing more. The agencies want the public to believe they are on top of it. Again - it's a personal choice but the players and kids need to know the truth. What we do to these kids between the sports and the protein shakes and other shitfull supplements we throw at them is criminal.

    #94 2 years ago
    Quoted from embryonjohn:

    ALL sports have related injuries, it's just that football has been singled out in today's PC culture due to its "toxic masculinity"

    You misspelled "brain and spinal injuries".

    #95 2 years ago

    Let him play. My son played from 6 on and graduated last year. He had offers to play in college which scared the shiat out of me and chose to focus on his degree instead. He misses it a lot now...

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    -1
    #96 2 years ago
    Quoted from cait001:

    You misspelled "brain and spinal injuries".

    You feel the same about hockey? Skateboarding?
    As far as I can tell, the deadliest profession is cubicle work, waiting on Canadian healthcare and sniping at people who choose to move and challenge their bodies.

    #97 2 years ago
    Quoted from Frippertron:

    This is coming from a successful lineman who quit playing in his junior year of college. I was vilified by my coach .

    Quitter! Begin the shunning...

    #98 2 years ago
    Quoted from ForceFlow:

    There was one kid at one of the area high schools a few years ago who ended up with a paralyzing injury to due to getting hit during a football game and landing wrong.

    Same thing can happen when riding a horse.

    If you take away all things that are risky in regards to injury, you might as well have the kid live in a bubble.

    Boyintheplasticbubble (resized).jpg

    #99 2 years ago
    Quoted from Chisox:

    Are we nuts? He plays Defensive End and Tight End.

    Are you nuts? Nope...sounds like your kid is learning some invaluable life skills and creating some unforgettable memories.

    Defensive End and Tight End? Sounds like he's not gonna grow up a pussy.

    Win Win IMO

    Funny how all the bleeding hearts will say how bad a sport football is and would never let their child play but they will strap Billie/Susie in a car without a second thought. Riding in a motor vehicle is insanely dangerous, are there campaigns to stop teens from everything else tough in life???

    #100 2 years ago

    I agree with those that say if it is fun and he is doing well then keep it up. Driving is the most dangerous thing your son and most of us will be doing. I'd probably be more afraid of a stud football player knocking up the hot cheerleader than getting brain damage.

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