The wife and I have a mutual agreement. If you earned the money you can spend it any way you want.
She ask's if she can buy a tanning bed. My response. "I don't give a shit it's your money."
I ask if I can buy another pin. Her response. "As long as I don't have to give you any money."
If we want something mutual we just split it. Like a pool or a new couch.
Between the two of use we have a package coming in everyday. She has almost 200 pairs of shoes and has clothes in 3 closets of the house. I have a pin in the living room. She gets to park her car in the garage. I get to have 2 motorcycles in the garage.
Just be fair. My advise is to get her ass a job. No free loaders here.